Kids party no food

[Thebabewiththepowerof]

Quick one

Aibu to think the recent move towards not providing party food at kids parties is a bit odd?

Just picked up DS from yet another party where no food was provided (and no it’s not a cost thing, not in this case anyway) just a doughnut 🍩.

The kids don’t care I’m sure but I wasn’t planning on doing a “dinner” tonight so had to come home and produce something from nothing because he was hungry. If you aren’t providing food then at least tell us in advance so we know!

Anyway, am I?

ps for context he is 8, appreciate if he were 16 this would all be a bit weird 🤪

I don't think anyone expects dinner. 🤦‍♀️

This is weird because at work yesterday, my male colleague brought in a load of children's party food...

I provide a variety snacks and often meal too for playdates…can’t imagine a bday party

It does happen but I assume it's their choice. They don't always eat much at parties anyway so I would not be put out that if I had to cook dinner because it wasn't covered by the hosts. It sounds a bit entitled tbh.

And I'm also getting flashbacks to a mum at my son's old school who was always on the class group chat demanding to know if there would be food provided at excursions or to me directly for playdates so she could "plan ahead." And then she'd clearly quiz the kid on what I'd fed him and I might get a comment on "so many carbs" or some other judgemental comment.

Seriously - your kid is invited to a party. Be grateful. How much "planning ahead" is required to open a tin of baked beans or get something out of the freezer anyway.

I think a soft play party for 40 kids is privileged and beyond the means of lots of people. I agree children deserve a party but some people need to understand that affording to throw an activity party is a big deal and a choice.

I can still remember the birthday parties of my childhood (mine and the ones I attended around the village)...

If it was an 'at home' party (not say McDonalds, Wimpy or the local swimming pool)...

Sit down tea with sandwiches, crisps, biscuits, cake, jelly and icecream..

Or buffet job with the same fare.

I will never forget the kid whose mum made both the savoury cheese n pineapple hedgehog, but she made a sweet one too (marshmallows and jelly tots on cocktail sticks). It was the talk of the school for weeks, no one had seen such an incredibly posh and clever thing!

If theres no jelly, icecream or party rings, s'not a party.

No cheese and pineapple hedgehogs? (Showing my age)

Ok I’m done here what was supposed to be a light hearted enquiry into party etiquette has become a bit of a monster.

Several people seem to have deliberately misinterpreted my intentions in order to have a go (par for the course on here) so I’ll finish by saying (repeating)

I asked the question to see whether my expectations were unreasonable about the party, that was to have food provided if it didn’t say otherwise

I didn’t ask if it was unreasonable to feed my kid.

I did feed my kid

I always feed my kid

I had maybe expected snacks once home or a light tea but he came home really hungry because, no, a single doughnut was not sufficient on this occasion and for those saying a doughnut is a big snack? How big are your doughnuts? Or how small are you/ your children?

Yes I checked and that is all there was he didn’t just opt for a doughnut and ignore the platters of food

we don’t eat much straight from the freezer food so it’s not a case of “throwing some fish fingers at him” as a couple of you said but he ate and the world was well

I am definitely from the camp of party = some sort of party food. The majority of us are it seems and I accept that some people aren’t (well done you) but feel it’s not a weird thing to expect that to be made known in advance. Whether it’s cost, time of day or type of party is irrelevant. I couldn’t care less if you told me you weren’t doing food but it’s an odd thing to not mention when convention suggests the alternative. Stick it on the invite, on the other occasions this has been done that way.

thank you for all the comments, both in agreement and otherwise. It’s been nothing if not entertaining how angry some people get around kids parties, who knew they were so divisive? I sincerely hope I don’t end up at a party run by some of you, or if I do that I have some snacks in my bag 👍🏻.

have a lovely Sunday one and all ❤️🍕🥳

I was going to say that surely this isn't a thing, but the tight gits on this thread have proved me wrong.

If you can't afford to feed the guests then you can't afford to host a party. Yes, maybe that's shit for some people but it is what it is.

One tesco iced doughnut is about 250 kcal Just how much of a snack do you need your kid ti have?

The food is the best bit!!!!!!

We did have a party at the local swimming pool once for my son, when he was a teenager. There was nowhere to have food then and we just gave out cake and biscuits in party bags at the end.. But it was also a very common place for parties for that age group so everyone knew what to expect.
All other parties have included a light lunch type of meal.

This wasn’t the point of the thread. Let it go now. Just….let it go 👍🏻

Did they at least sit down somewhere and sing happy birthday to your kid while a cake was brought out? Would seem a bit odd to go to a party where there's no contact made with the birthday child or acknowledgement that it's meant to be a party of sorts

@Thebabewiththepowerof

I think you need to let it go yourself. Just leave the thread if it's annoying you now. People are going to continue to post and won't be reading all the nonsense that came before.

You would make sure that you at least have substantial snacks or food for a guest. For a party even more so. It has nothing to do with privilege but attitude and being a host. It’s best not to throw a party if you can’t look after the guests.

Depends on timings! Snacks and drinks maybe. I'd always feed after a party.

My kids are older now but in my experience the kids never really eat more than a few bites of the food. Its never enough to call it a meal and it's very wasteful. If this is a new trend maybe it's not a bad thing.

Same! It wouldn’t even pass my mind to care so much I’d post in MN!

I’ve never experienced it so far (7,3) and would be suprised but not that bothered. Due to parties being early and variable food intake due to excitement we often have to give them dinner any way

I organised a whole class party for DC1 recently and the food waste was insane. It was 2-4pm and we put on sandwiches, snacks, cake, sweets etc. but honestly I came away thinking I wish I’d just done a few sweet snacks and drinks and left it at that. The kids barely sat down and so many sandwiches went to waste. I just don’t think kids are that fussed to be honest. The only thing I’ve seen kids go mental for is pizza so next time I’ll just order pizzas in and leave it at that.

I would expect- well party food! No matter what time of day. Party means party food- particularly at 8. So sausage rolls, little sandwiches, that sort of thing.

I would think it more than a bit odd if there was nothing but a doughnut.

I'm guessing it can be due to 2 reasons:

1. Children with allergies. If there were multiple children with difficult to manage food allergy might be easier to not serve food.

1. If some of the kids are known to be fussy eaters/have very difficult tastes can be tough to cater for so opted for no food.

I agree though they should probably say in advance. :)

This thread is batshit. OP, you are not in the slightest unreasonable to expect some party food to be provided at a children’s party. A single doughnut is very weird.

The payback for getting the prezzie (or in this case the cash donation - which is also weird imho) is a whole load of sandwiches, cheese and pineapple on sticks, Wagon Wheels and mini sausages. You are NOT unreasonable to expect this as standard at a child’s party and to think “ah fuck it, at least I won’t have to do tea tonight.”