To not want to go to an all you can eat buffet?

[wizarddry]

I've only ever been to once once about 10 years ago. Have they got better? There's just something about the piles of food on people's places and the thought that if they do that many types of food then none of them can be done well. Are my preconceptions wrong? What is your strategy for tackling them? If I say I'll go is it acceptable for me to just have one plate of food or will my hosts be annoyed at me?

I usually go for a small starter such as a small salad, then I make my main course similar to a meal I’d have at home such as fish, rice and veg or more salad. For pudding I’ll pick a couple of mini cakes etc.
I absolutely hate Chinese buffets, I feel ill and really thirsty afterwards. I don’t like Chinese takeaways either.

Just look round carefully at everything before choosing what you want, and only take a little of each thing. Of course it's fine to only have one plate. I've found the food often salty, fatty, poor quality. But some Indian buffets I've been to have been OK. The drinks are often really overpriced as well. Just go along for the novelty and for the company. One other thing is it can be really noisy at buffets.

Ah yes sounds like it might be fun for kids

Did the people you were with all sit and watch others in disgust, or did any of you actually talk to each other?

Probably won’t be the best food you’ve ever eaten but just take a plate of the food that you’d most like to eat and eat it? I don’t think anyone is force fed at these buffets.

I quite like them. Its a good way of trying little bits of lots of things that I probably wouldn't order a full portion of. I don't want to overeat so I don't.

I'm not really bothered about other people. They would probably stuff themselves wherever they went anyway.

Ok thanks I was just a bit worried of the etiquette of going to an all you can eat and not eating all I can eat. Perhaps I should offer to pay my share

They come in varying degrees of horrendousness. I’ve been to a couple of nice Chinese ones, a reasonable mixed Asian one and an absolutely awful ‘everything’ one. Horrible food hygiene with grubby kids picking things up with their hands and replacing them, screaming babies, screaming teenagers, screaming parents. Yuck yuck yuck. I wouldn’t go back to that one if you paid me but some of them are ok especially if they cook the food fresh in front of you.

Our local one has lots of different global cuisines, you can have pizza and the meat from a roast dinner, cheese and biscuits, cooked to order Chinese dishes, a spoon of Indian curry etc. No need to stuff yourself silly, have a good look if it’s one of the big ones and only take tiny bits of what you want.

We were at one like that a few years ago too, it’s difficult not to miss the people in front of you piling plates high with food or the people behind you breathing down your neck while your trying to get a serving of something. It was even worse watching people picking things like chicken wings up with fingers, licking fingers and going to pick something else up. Some were literally eating while collecting food. Utter pigs.

Children were running all over the place too and so much food was left on plates. We ended up paying anyway, leaving and going elsewhere, I’ve seen animals with better manners.

If I’m invited out to one I normally decline these days unless it’s one that has freshly cooked food stations.

Is the host paying for it OP? I'd assume yes

If so, then I'd go and get a plate of food you fancy. And then just get different (little because they're usually little) desserts and just keep getting different ones? So a spoonful of coconut jelly, some fruit, some ice creams. All in little bits so it looks like you're getting loads

We are clearly very different people though. I LOVE all you can eat and 'save myself' for the day so I can really enjoy it. My local one is a Spoons chain

I think you're overthinking. Just have what you want and avoid turning up your nose at other people's choices. My kids adore a "world foods" place near us and it's not what I'd choose myself, but it's not just massive plates of sweet and sour and bolognese. Sushi, dim sum, hoisin pancakes, fish or octopus fried in front of you, salad bar.

Why would you assume that and what difference does it make. She either wishes to habe dinner with them there or doesn’t.

Yes host is paying that's why I'm not sure if I should go as they won't get their monies worth with me.

@wizarddry they obviously want to go there and the price is set regardless of how much or how little you eat, so it would be more polite to just go rather than say how you don't like buffets which makes it look as if you are criticising their choice.

The good thing about them is there is usually a good variety of food, so you should find something you like. If you would rather stick to one starter and one main, you can absolutely do that as well.

We don't go all the time, but it's nice when different members of the family fancy different things to eat.

Don't worry about that

I've been to a few and only ever gone up once for main stuff and sometimes again for a pudding, but not always

No ones has ever looked at me like I'm a weirdo for doing that

I think you’re overthinking it OP.

Ok great thanks

Yeah I think so! Thank you

I actually detest them now, having been dragged to them by 2 exes! They were both greedy sods though so that's why.

The ones I've been too have been pretty crap tbh. I've had much nicer meals in restaurants where I just ordered the dish I wanted.

I also never got my moneys worth as the price was usually higher than a single dish in other places. So for me it was crap and expensive.

It sounds like you're going in a group?

If no one is going to eat their money's worth, I might wonder if a different venue might be more appropriate. If, however, there is one teenage boy, giant rugby player or generic greedy guts there, the hosts will still be quids up taking you all there rather than somewhere else.

I wouldn't eat my money's worth these days (I might have done as a poor student who was very physically active) but I'd enjoy the opportunity to have a little bit of a variety of things. The value doesn't necessarily have to be in volume, it could be in choice.

Presumably you have been invited because your hosts want your company? In which case, what you do or don't eat isn't relevant. They just want to spend time with you.

Well it costs them the same no matter how much you eat. Why spoil your enjoyment of the evening by eating food you don't want?

I don't like them because they're priced as if you're going to eat a huge pile of food and I'm a 'little and often' type of eater, so when I go out, I eat a small amount and take quite a bit of what I'm served home for the next day, which obviously you can't do at an all you can eat place.

You can't say 'I've only had a small plate, so I want to take two more plates of food to have at home tomorrow, because everyone else has had three plate fulls' but it costs the same either way.

Sounds like it's a group meal, which makes an all you can eat place a strange choice as people are constantly getting up to get food, which interrupts the whole point of going out to eat together. But if you want to go to the event, go, eat what you want, and don't worry about upsetting people who've chosen the venue.

Not RTFT but just stop when you're full, surely? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you. You've really helped. You appealed to the logical rational side of my brain as to why I don't like them! It's like hang on.. all HE can eat is 4 times as much as me yet I cost the same. The pressure to eat all you can eat not all you want to eat. It's a bit gross. I will go anyway I think

Bloody love them. I'm vegetarian so there is usually only one or two things on normal menus to choose from. With buffets I can have a bit of variety. I know I don't get my money's worth not having meat or fish but I'm there for the company, the ambiance and a treat, not to make a 'profit' or focus on balancing macros or provide my daily nutrition!

Being concerned by a trip to an all you can eat buffet points to a worrying relationship with food and common sense or a nice bit of performative MN teeny-tiny appetite-ness 😆

Enjoy it for the company and be assured the staff and your friends will not notice. The person paying will get their money's worth by you being there, enjoying yourself and adding to the evening, not by you making yourself ill with 5kg of food!

I think the previous posters finding mixing cuisines and not sticking to tradition disgusting are doing themselves a disservice...Yorkshire pudding, macaroni cheese, salad, veg curry and spring rolls go really well together ❤️