To give myself permission to toss everything out

[Bedazzlerazzle]

I've been out of work for a few years raising my kids. I did get some social security payments but dh shouldered most of the financial responsibility. I've become a boarder. I find it impossible to let go of things. Mainly to do with their perceived value. I'm going back to work and for the first time in years we will have two wages coming in. His better than mine but still more money than we've ever had as a couple.

I want to give myself permission to toss out all the clutter and stored things we don't need. I want a crap free home. I would pay for that so I feel like I use my wages to in effect "pay" for all the things I want to get rid of. Sounds nuts I know.
Feel like it's a good chance to make changes though. First wage packet can be for all the things I'm going to toss.
AIBU? Does that sound OK or nuts?

Hoarder

Sounds like a great way to think about it.

I hope that I've explained well. It's a strange notion in my head that if I'm working we can afford to let things go that we otherwise may have wanted to sell (but never do).

Sounds like an excellent idea and I like how it aligns with your fresh start. Why don’t you put stuff into two piles - one for the charity shop/recycling and one for things you might get some cash for on Facebook Marketplace/Gumtree? That way you might even make a bit of money off your clear out? Good for you by the way, it’s a big step, you should justly be proud of yourself and don’t forget to ask for help jettisoning things if you need to.

Op that makes perfect sense. I wouldn’t say I was a hoarder but I did have a huge amount of stuff in my house. Next week I’m paying someone to get rid of the last of the crap in the garage and I make so many visits to charity shops I think they know me. My life is so much better and easier without all this stuff, I can’t begin to describe it.

I'm thinking I'm going to look at everything as going. Nothing safe. Then as I work through I'll have to give myself a really good reason for something to stay. Like if it actually is useful! Stuff that has been stuffed in boxes and not seen for years can just go. I may sell a few things but the majority probably isn't worth it.

This is where I want to be. Well done to you!

Completely fair enough - clean sweep!

Well done Op!

It's a great way to start afresh, and I find it so therapeutic decluttering - enjoy!!

I know what you mean - I put off disposing of things because I think I should sell it, for environmental reasons and money reasons - but that takes time and effort and I never get round to it so the ‘To Sell’ pile gets bigger and the stuff is still there!
even giving stuff away is a hassle - I think Facebook people collecting free stuff mess you about even more than those paying for things.

sometimes it’s ok to just get rid.

@Bedazzlerazzle if you go to the housekeeping board there are decluttering threads you can post on. Or post your progress here. Mumsnet can be wonderfully supportive with these types of things.

Op you should watch Sort You Life Out
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00116n4
They empty people’s entire houses into a warehouse then get rid of all the excess stuff before putting what’s left back in order. It’s my favourite programme ever!

You’ve already gone on a huge mental journey to get to this point, and I bet your mind feels a lot clearer already?
This sounds like the perfect opportunity to take it to the next stage, and you’ll feel an almost physical weight off your shoulders when you do it!

Do it! Live your life, don't spend your time obligated to look after crap! I am guilty of the having a growing 'to sell' pile with 2 small kids (pricey toys almost exclusively) but I'm trying to be ruthless on everything else, we're binning and donating so much (lots of charity shops round here thank goodness). I try to remove 1 item per day so I feel I've accomplished something on work days, but others I can manage a couple of bin bags. It feels great.

I'm a hoarder too and just fed up with it all. It's getting so in the way of living my life. I moved to live near family 10 years ago, I live less than 10 minute walk away and it's so bad they've only been in my house once in that time. I can't have friends round. I can't even let neighbours in when they nip round to discuss anything. It's got so bad over the last 6 months I don't even have DP to stay overnight any more.

I won't get round to selling anything (that's why I'm a hoarder!) and all the best laid plans go to waste, so I'm just planning an hiring the biggest builders skip I can fit in the front garden and just empyting the attic and spare room into it. All of it. Just gone. I'm a bit scared the skip people sorry through it though (they have to incase there's anything illegal, or body parts etc I guess!).

I'm chuffed for you that you've reached this point! Onwards and upwards eh?

YANBU and also OP- as you're earning and paying tax take it all to charity shops and fill in the gift aid form- you get updates as to how much your gift aid has made. I just got one saying my gift aid was £25 this year which I think means all my crap made Cancer research £100..?! Amazing!

That’s is amazing - well done! Brilliant!

I need a good declutter too. I’m not a hoarder but have noticed all my cupboards and drawers are full and it’s hard to find anything. I’ve also noticed where I can’t fit anything else in I’m starting to pile it up nearby and that’s not good! Need to declutter and organise to get back to where we were.

I have done exactly the same. Was a stay at home mum for years and felt I had to sell everything I possibly could, once the kids had outgrown it. If i had the time and was guilty of spending the money originally, i had to, right??? In my mind, anyway. I went back to work last year and gave myself permission to just get rid of it from then on (charity shops or listing it for free on local Facebook sites). My earning money seemed to 'make up' for not selling things. Also, I have noticed that it's increasingly difficult to sell things nowadays. People seem to expect things for free or barely any money. It started to feel more hassle than it was worth to list things, parcel things up, print out postage labels, get to a post office/drop off shop, especially then around working hours, when it was just for a couple of pounds each time. I still try to sell things that will get me over £10/20 for an individual item, which seems to be a good compromise.

I gift aided my last carload I dropped off at the charity shop and got a letter last week saying it had raised £257 so far. Very small part of me kicking myself I could have sold it myself and used the money, but I know I just wouldn't have got round to it, and just festered. I'm glad money went to a good cause.

Absolutely go for it! If you've not sold it by now, there's no chance you'll do it with a job too.

Thank you to everyone who's commented. I'm feeling motivated to get this stuff out of my life. I'll get a charity to come collect most of it and anything not worthy can go to the tip. I just want a clean and tidy home. You can't clean properly when there is stuff everywhere and I've just had enough of it now.

I hereby grant you guilt free permission to throw away all of the stuff that is getting you down!

Seriously do it and don’t think twice.