Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unreciprocated favours- are we being petty?

6 replies

UnPushyParents · 01/06/2024 00:06

One of my DC has been involved in an activity this week which has involved driving them backwards and forwards to a venue 20-30 minutes away, sometimes requiring 4 round trips a day as they’ve had morning and evening sessions (and we don’t stay with them for the c.3 hour sessions). I took the week off to facilitate this and it’s been pretty tiring. Some pick ups have been late in the evening and it’s not a very nice drive due to lots of long single track roads with passing places, and some particularly awkward roadworks.

DH was approached by a distant acquaintance about taking their DC there and back on one of the days with only one session, because both he and his wife would be working away from their house. I agreed, but noted (to DH) that in their shoes I would have offered a reciprocal arrangement given the many drop offs and pick ups required across the week. DH said they maybe couldn’t due to having lots of kids and possibly only one car.

When I picked the child up, one parent was home. The child also told me lots about their 2 cars and their older (teen) siblings.

Today, one of these parents arrived at the venue with only one child in their car and commented that they’d followed us from home. They were then angling for me to supervise their child during what was a short break between sessions today. I couldn’t as I wasn’t going to be there and my DC’s grandparents were looking after him.

We then get a text at 9:30 this evening to ask if we can drop off their child tomorrow as they have a “complicated day”. We can’t, as we are not travelling to the venue from home tomorrow.

AIBU to feel quite pissed off? On the one hand, I was / may have been doing the journey anyway, but on the other they clearly could have offered a reciprocal lift and didn’t bother and they would also have happily used me as childcare to avoid an inconvenience to themselves.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 01/06/2024 00:12

Garden variety cheeky fuckers. I'd be blocking their number. This sort will take as much advantage of you that you allow them to take.

JenniferEckles · 01/06/2024 00:20

Can't you reply along the lines of "yes, no problem, shall I take them and you pick them both up?" or "no problem, do you want to take them both tomorrow then if I'm doing Saturday?" or whatever equivalent of that works for you?

UnPushyParents · 01/06/2024 00:27

JenniferEckles · 01/06/2024 00:20

Can't you reply along the lines of "yes, no problem, shall I take them and you pick them both up?" or "no problem, do you want to take them both tomorrow then if I'm doing Saturday?" or whatever equivalent of that works for you?

No, because I actually can’t do what they are asking for next. I didn’t mind the first ask (which I agreed to) and assumed reciprocation was difficult as per DH’s comments, but the second and third have irritated me, particularly given that they lied to me.

OP posts:
TheRomanticOutlaw · 01/06/2024 00:50

YANBU, I'd be annoyed too. Ok, (being generous to them ) it's possible they didn't lie about both parents being away from home, it's possible that their work plans were changed last minute but then they should have contacted you to let you know a lift wasn't required. And why are they angling for you to supervise the child during a break? They took their child there, can't they stay and supervise their own child?
Also, I hate the late evening 'requests' for something. I get these for babysitting for a relative all the time and it pisses me off. You don't find out at 9.30pm that you have a 'complicated day' the next day (or a job interview, if you're my relative) you know way earlier than that, so why leave it so late to ask? I've already planned what I'm doing the next day by then, why should I have to shuffle MY day around to accommodate you at short notice?

bridgetreilly · 01/06/2024 01:26

Stop being passive aggressive about it and use your words. “There are a lot of trips this week, can we compare diaries and see how we can split them up between us?”

UnPushyParents · 01/06/2024 09:54

bridgetreilly · 01/06/2024 01:26

Stop being passive aggressive about it and use your words. “There are a lot of trips this week, can we compare diaries and see how we can split them up between us?”

As above, I couldn’t/can’t fulfil any of their additional requests.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page