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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I might have traits of autism ?

5 replies

Justnavigating · 31/05/2024 20:25

AIBU To think I might have traits of autism ? Or am I just obsessive ?

Now , I’ll start this off by saying I don’t actually think I’m autistic . I’m not going to go and get assessed or anything - I manage just fine day to day !

But my child is autistic and as she’s growing into a young adult im seeing things in her that resonate with me - this could be heat learned behaviour from me , obviously. There is a lot of autism in my family.

  1. i have always had massive anxiety - mine is mainly health - I obsess about cancer and I’m always convinced I have symptoms of some form and I need to tell people this and I’m always trying to seek reassurance but if they say what I don’t want to hear - eg go to a doctor - I’ll cut the conversation off and then need to convince them that I’m ok now and no longer anxious . My daughter is the same. Hers isn’t really about health but she does the same , she will seek reassurance and if I suggest anything other than what she thinks she needs she cuts the conversation and then is overly desperate to convince me she’s forgotten about it and isn’t anxious .
  2. I have realised this slowly over the years - I struggle to focus on things that require multiple trains of thought . I have to sit down and try to think and logically make steps . I’m a teacher - I can teach lots of different things , I can multitask but some things I shut down . It sounds silly but recently we were making friendship bands - the TA showed me repeatedly , the children grasped it but I could not . There were too many things at once happening and I just couldn’t ! I cannot parallel park - it’s not that I don’t like doing it , I just can’t . I can’t connect the steps in my head to make sense - I can’t picture it making sense first , so I just can’t. Obviously I manage fine without doing these things but it feels really overwhelming and it feels very loud in my head .
  3. I hyper focus . I didn’t even realise what this was until my daughter explained it- she was hyper focused on something recently and it was consuming for her ( it was a show - she spent lots of money on merchandise, changed her style etc ) then one day she just said - my hyper fixation is over and that was that . I’m the same - It could be hobbies , a holiday , a career change , a new outfit - if my mind is set , I’ll spend hours researching and I do nothing else in my spare time and think of nothing else . I have had so many business ideas and spent money and then all of a sudden just not been interested . So many hobbies , so many courses . I have about 10 Facebook pages of business I’ve started and then just lost interest in , I’m on so many groups for different hobbies . I’ll get into something and then I’m consumed by it and I’ll spend money I dont have on it and all I’ll do from when I wake up is google it , watch tik toks of it , want to do it in every spare moment and then I’ll fall asleep daydreaming about it and one day it will just stop . I spent loads of money recently on baking supplies , all I did every spare moment was bake and then one day I just didn’t want to anymore . For some reason I’ve now started to want to colour and instead of just buying some pens and a colouring book I have bought crayons and pencils and felts and markers . I’ve gone down rabbit holes to find the specific pencils everyone recommends and the specific books and now all I’m doing is thinking about colouring , watching videos about colouring , sitting and colouring , sending people pictures of my colouring ( it’s a bit weird 🤣 ) - I’m not rich either so I shouldn’t ! I mean I’m not spending hundreds and we can still eat lol but it’s consuming . My husband wanted a date night and I didn’t want to because I wanted to colour and this happens with every hobby I get! It’s sometimes a bit much - like I am tired and I know I’ll go to bed tonight and won’t be able to sleep because I’ll be thinking about it and the first thing I’ll do when I wake, even if it’s 4am , will be watching videos of it until my husband goes to work and then I’ll do it . But I also know that once I kind of have everything , I’ll get bored and it will stop as soon as it started .

I could go on, there’s more - but this thread will be too long for anyone to want to read 🤣

OP posts:
RagzRebooted · 31/05/2024 20:28

That sounds more ADHD to me, but I have neither and don't know an awful lot about them really, so not very helpful I know!

Justnavigating · 31/05/2024 20:47

RagzRebooted · 31/05/2024 20:28

That sounds more ADHD to me, but I have neither and don't know an awful lot about them really, so not very helpful I know!

I’ve always just thought of ADHD as being really hyperactive- and I’m certainly not , I’m quite lazy 🤣 however , I guess when it comes to my obsessions I’m not lazy!

OP posts:
Circumferences · 31/05/2024 20:51

Aspergers sounds more likely
(Although I believe aspergers is technically autism too now?)
DP has Aspergers. You sound like him. It's a wonderful trait, he's brilliant.

TheSnowyOwl · 31/05/2024 20:51

Neurodivergence often has a strong genetic link and it can show itself in different ways eg an autistic grandmother could have an autistic daughter who has a daughter with ADHD.

I agree that what you are describing sounds like inattentive or combined ADHD and anxiety is very typical in females who mask ND. Generally by the time you are an adult, it’s hard to realise what is masking and what is a coping strategy because those who are ND have been managing with these techniques for so long.

AnnoyingPopUp · 31/05/2024 20:55

There’s more than one type of ADHD, and as your daughter is neurodiverse there is a very strong likelihood that she has inherited it from you. Ive recently been diagnosed with autism in my fifties, following my teenagers being diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and I definitely have traits of ADHD too (although I’m not sure if I would gain anything more by seeking an additional diagnosis).

It definitely sounds as though you have traits of neurodiversity. Would you like to explore this? It can be quite confronting, but it can also be really helpful towards understanding and accepting yourself.

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