To have never had a birthday card from work

[WineGumm]

I’ve been in my current job for a long time and in all that time I have never once had one birthday card from one colleague.

Call me ridiculous and I understand I am probably being unreasonable but it’s starting to really upset me. Recently it was another colleague’s birthday and they had lots of cards, thoughtful little gifts, little cakes/gifts and I would do anything just for one person to acknowledge my birthday.

I’m starting to feel like I must be disliked in some way.

I don’t work on my actual birthday so maybe that has something to do with it. When I went off on maternity leave and had a baby I had no card then even though newer colleagues who had babies had cards signed for them etc.

I understand it’s a first world problem-we don’t do official signed cards on peoples birthdays - please tell me I am being ridiculous!

You are not being unreasonable if they do it for other people. Have you bought cards for others in the past?

I’ve contributed towards collections when someone leaves or has a baby. I tend not to get individual cards for colleagues birthdays apart from one lady who turned 50 and another who was in work on her birthday and I’m close to so bought her a card and flowers.

Never had a card….never sent a card or been involved in collections….I go to work to earn money….if I get on with people that’s great….but that’s it…I’m nhs

Did you get a gift when you went on maternity leave?

For my second maternity leave, I didn't really get a card but some thoughtful presents and gift vouchers.

I had nothing when I went on maternity leave 😔 I did (a long time ago) not long after I first started get a card and a collection when I got married. My boss forgot the card existed tho and gave it to me 6 months after I married 🙈😂

Sorry OP but IMHO you work with a load of prized......!!! However, only you can judge

Where I worked, it was abig team, almost 50 of us - there was collection after collection and people would moan and worse - I told them to stuff their car (in a more polite manner) and around that time they stopped doing collections

My observations were if you face fitted it they'd make a song and dance about it, but if they really disliked you, you got naff all

I steered clear of all their lunch gathering, parties, invites and was better off for it as other started behaving like me. I left work mates at work. I noted workmates that became outside work friends often fell out or slagged off their so-called friend - I though thank the lord I'm not like them

Your place may not be like that and hope it is not. When my team was spelit twice and we had a team of ten in ours, five were close to me but were were only good mates at work and trusted the other

I know to lots of people this will sound trivial, but I remember how hurt I was when nobody at work acknowledged my 30th. The team I worked with at the time were all similar ages, and over the course of about 3 years lots of us turned 30. We didn’t bother with other birthdays, but for the 30ths it was always a big fuss - balloons, cakes, cards etc. When it came to mine - nothing. Not a bean. A couple of them posted on my fb, but that was it.

I didn’t say anything at the time, but a few months later when it was someone else’s and I was asked to contribute, I made a comment like, “Oh, I didn’t realise we were still doing this seeing as we missed mine.” Probably petty, but hey.

It was at that point that I decided to completely separate work from social, and haven’t looked back since! I genuinely don’t think I’d care now. I work somewhere else now and I don’t even think anyone there knows when my birthday is, and I have no plans to tell them!

Work
Life

You do one to allow the other.
One is just necessary. The other is what you fill it with.

They do not need to cross-over; indeed, 99% of the time, they should not in order to avoid emotions, complications and industrial tribunals.

Work is circa 8 hours a day. Life is 16. Enjoy the bulk, ignore the rest

It is thoughtless of them. YANBU to be hurt.

Omg no one at work even knows my birthday. I'm not 8 so I don't care if people celebrate my birthday any more !

Birthday cards from work colleagues are a bit unusual I’d say, but I suppose it’s a thing where you work so you feel differently.
But for maternity leave a card and probably a little gift or bunch of flowers as well is absolutely basic. I’d feel hurt to get no acknowledgement.

It's been exactly the same for me in every job I've had barr one

All the places I worked I got birthday cards and sometimes gifts from colleagues I was friendly with outside of work.

On my 50th I was working in a longstanding team of mainly men and two other women and I got Chanel No 5 perfume which was a pretty hefty present I thought. I was absolutely thrilled.

I did buy shedloads of cakes and chocolates though. 😁