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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so guilty?

3 replies

GuiltyIsCharged · 31/05/2024 19:28

I know this is probably very irrational guilt and I'm trying not go let myself get so overwhelmed by these thoughts so if anyone can offer advice or a handhold I'd be really grateful.

My DGM has been in hospital for around a week now, it was suspected that she has a really bad chest infection bordering on pneumonia and COPD. I have been off work so was able to visit her daily, either solo or with my grandad. My grandad can't visit alone due to needing to travel by public transport, which he isn't confident doing without me and the rest of my family are useless in general to be able to support him doing so. Earlier this week it was implied my gran would likely be discharged today or tomorrow.

I've gone back to work today so haven't been able to visit, so my mum went in my place. For context, I am low contact with her and she has spent any interaction with my gran this past week stressing her out over issues at home and demanding things she needs to change when she eventually comes home. (My uncle and brother are drug addicts who have also been harassing my nan with phonecalls in the hospital begging for money, they've even attempted to gain access to her bank to steal money in this time). Anyways I spoke to my mum when I finished work, who has now informed me that doctors have completely changed my DGM treatment and diagnosis as they have allegedly found traces of a parasite in her test results from this week. So she's not going to be discharged anytime soon.

Due to work commitments and appointments this week, I'm 30 weeks pregnant & high risk so have scans and hospital/midwife commitments, Its going to be very difficult for me to visit her until next Saturday, so by default neither will my grandad. Its causing me a great deal of worry that she's going to be alone or stuck with my mum stressing her out when she can be bothered to fit visiting around her socialising schedule.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking I guess I just need to get this out there to someone.

OP posts:
GuiltyIsCharged · 31/05/2024 19:38

Also just to add, whilst its always been the case I alone am solely responsible for ensuring my DGP are well and looked after. The pressure of them constantly only being able to rely on me is becoming very difficult for me to manage with my own needs.

Not only am I having to stress about my grans health and predicament right now, I also have to make sure my GD is eating and managing at home aswell. Due to financial things and shopping, etc usually being my grans responsibility. So I'm going to have to factor in time from somewhere to get my grandad a food shop, go and top up the gas and electric, wash my grans clothes to try and get them to the hospital for her.

It just all seems impossible as obviously my own life still has to continue with me going to work, managing my own house and appointments and also making sure I'm resting enough around antenatal appointments, which are at the stage of being more frequent. I'm just worried I'm almost at breaking point and my baby isn't even here yet to add anymore things to manage.

OP posts:
nfkl · 31/05/2024 19:40

Sorry it s happening to you OP, it must be so stressful indeed.
Don't feel guilty, you're doing your best

GuiltyIsCharged · 31/05/2024 20:13

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
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