To be jealous of people spending the weekend with their partners and/or children?

[Lucyloo223]

I always feel a bit sad on a Friday when I finish work knowing that I've got a whole weekend alone. When I say bye to my work friends and they've all got plans with their families I feel a pang wishing I was in the same boat.

Volunteer or join clubs! Ramblers (if you like walking) sports societies, outdoor swimming, conservation work. There are loads of good things going on. You just have to go out and find them. Good Luck!

Join some clubs or volunteers. You need to find something to fill your weekends so you're not alone. I'd actually LOVE to spend the weekend alone, reading, having a lay in and maybe brunch.

Honestly, I spend most of my weekend meeting other people needs. I'm cleaning or entering small children. My needs are at the bottom of the list. I dont get to do what I want. Instead Saturday I'll be up at 7,30 doing breakfast, ballet lessons, lunch, park trip, visit my parents or the outlaw, dinner, bedtime routine. Then Sunday will be cleaning, cooking, take kids swimming, ironing ready for school. It's not actually fun.

Lol, it's not all smiles and insta moments, believe me 😂

Get a pet if you can.

Ok

What is you home, family, friends situations ie you have any, are they living close etc?? Any hobbies - what do you normally do on weeknds and Bank Hols etc

TIA

I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive but honestly family life isn't always what it's cracked up to be op. I've got kids and I often wish I could have a weekend to myself or a month maybe 😂😭 my weekends aren't spent doing what I want, they are spent stood in parks or soft play or cooking for everyone and tidying up etc etc. Not saying that you aren't lonely but honestly don't romanticise family life with kids and a husband because a lot of people in that situation aren't happy either. What you do have, is freedom. What do you want to do?

So get out there and enjoy life. If you're single and commitment free (it sounds like you don't have kids) you can literally do whatever you like. If you don't know what you like line up some new experiences to try out. Go have coffee or lunch and or simply go for a wander somewhere. I know the loneliness is hard but you should just get out there.

I don't think it's a question about BU or NBU, it's just how you feel, and your feelings are valid. I've been a single mum for 10 years, I'm an introvert and love my own company but even I used to sometimes get the pang, mostly when my Ex-H had picked up our son on a Friday evening and suddenly I wasn't 'mum' anymore, I was just a singleton in a house that was suddenly very quiet!

Comparison is the thief of joy, etc. I occasionally feel envious of people I know who get to spend their entire weekend alone (if they choose to), getting up in their own time, pottering, going for a walk, watching whatever they want on TV, and so on.

By comparison, I'm generally more wiped out going back to work on a Monday than I was when I finished on Friday, but it's the life I chose and I'm grateful for the positives. There really is no point dwelling on the negatives, but as others have suggested, there are options available to you if you actually want company.

@ChangeAgain2
What you said. Except we are usually up at 5.30-6 thanks to DS who at 5 is still very much a bloody early riser!
I do empathize OP, as I was much later to marry and have kids than most of my friends and my sister and always envied her busy life while I felt alone.
I look back now and realize I didn't make the most of it or appreciate how absolutely exhausting little kids and the daily grind can be at times either.

Make the most of your weekends. Don’t mope around wishing for things you don’t have, be grateful for what you do have - lots of time and freedom to pursue anything you want.

A simple walk in nature listening to a great podcast/audiobook is a step in the right direction and is very low cost. Start there.

I get it and I've been there. But you have to get out their and find your tribe which I appreciate is easier said than done. Get on meet up groups, join the gym or a society that meets your interests. Joining the gym changed my social life for the better

There are many people who are in the same position, but you have to be proactive to change it. I do envy you tho, I'd love to have a weekend totally to myself

It's bloody horrible, isn't it? I know pp mean well with the suggestions of clubs and groups you could join but it's not the same as having a partner or family to hang out with, is it? You could absolutely busy yourself with activities but sometimes it's nice to go for a meal or a few drinks or a walk with someone who really loves you.

Join some groups. I joined a ladies walking group a year ago and we meet up 3 times a week. Saturday is a long walk with pub lunch or cream tea. I’ve just met them in the pub for a couple of hours and a few of them are going for a curry now. Many are ladies who live alone but some married with families too. I’ve got kids but I’m a single parent and youngest is 16 so it’s been great to meet so many local ladies. The group started as one lady wrote a message on a local Facebook group saying any ladies fancy a walking group if I set one up. It’s brilliant

Thing is, being busy is not the opposite of being lonely BUT it won't resolve without action.

When I was in this position I made a point of saying yes to anything and everything. I really did put myself out there and ASKED friends and family to meet up etc. I did online dating etc too.

It was hard but it meant I got the life I wanted. Good luck OP

Those of us with busy lives dream of a peaceful weekend alone. But that’s not the same at all as when you have no choice but to spend every weekend on your own. I am sorry you feel like this OP.

Allow yourself to feel sad, lonely and envious. Then shrug your shoulders and plan one thing each weekend you like. Whether it’s a takeaway or a shopping splurge or going to a favourite cafe. It doesn’t have to be something highbrow or community-oriented.

And remember life can change and will change. This will not be how it is for you forever.

This.

It's sooo hard to appreciate what you have at the time (I know, because I was the same - before I met DH, I often found being on my own at the weekends lonely too), but honestly, weekends with small children aren't really weekends anymore, there's no time to really relax or do what you want to do. Family trips out may look amazing on social media, but the trips are mostly for the kids, and behind the glossy facade, there's squabbling, tiredness, whinging and mess 😅

My son goes to his dad’s two weekends a month. I’m single and disabled so for those two weekends I’m alone stuck at home. Part of me loves it, I’m introverted and I have hobbies that I can catch up on - and I can also rest as I’m in pain with my disability. But it gets boring quickly and I glance at social media with people with their friends and partner and families who are enjoying their time and I just feel very alone and I sometimes get a bit emotional as I’ve been on my own for over 5 years - not spent a weekend with anyone other than my child in that time either. It’s weird, because I wouldn’t change my situation but you can’t help how loneliness affects you.

This is exactly it. And this has been my weekends now for 4.5 years.

@Trucklepops thank you for understanding x

This weekend I’d give a lot to be spending it on my own!
However I know I wouldn’t want that all the time so I work at being grateful for what I’ve got.
All you can do is start trying different things to change the situation. Make some plans, find a new hobby …
It’s not going to change unless you make it.