How can I stop being a stress head?

[JKDcot]

I just find life bloody stressful sometimes (maybe a lot of the time). Traveling is always annoying as things are delayed, cancelled, fully booked and queues everywhere. Anytime I need anything done in my house (plumber, electrician etc) it’s a nightmare to get anyone to want to do the work or turn up when they say they will. Buying stuff online and expecting deliveries to arrive on time also seems broken - and calling customer services or being stuck talking to a live chat robot is frustrating.

not sure if i am just over sensitive, getting old, or things are just feeling more stressful than ever.

I don’t think I expect too much. Just finding things get on top of me then I get angry and worried. And my husband gets grumpy that I can’t stay calm….

anyone else???

My DH is like this. I don't really understand why he's so easily frustrated and he doesn't understand why I don't seem bothered.
My adrenaline spikes when he goes off on one over something minor, I feel it and I hate it, but his behaviour is up to him, I just have to swiftly remove myself and ignore until he's done.
These things just don't feel like a big deal. Yes they are annoying, yes it feels like service is declining, yes finding honest trades to do work and getting them to turn up is massive hassle, but none of these things bother me enough for me to flip my lid.
No idea how you move from one approach to the other, practice I guess.

Is it stress building up inside your head, and you actually feel stressed at seemingly minor things, or is it more frustration at things not working the way they should? Because advice for those two may be related, but will be different.

I've been like this since I can remember. It's an awful way of life and took a toll on my partner. Thankfully, my kids are young, and I hope I've ended such behaviour before they recognised it.

I tried many things over the years: mindfulness, meditation, Buddhism, journalling. None of it worked, but only created a facade of peace, whereby I was better at pretending I wasn't a stress head any more. However, along came a catastrophe, and I realised nothing had changed at all!

Last year, I was baptised, and this steady process towards being more Christ-centred has been a turning point. Even my partner, who is a non-believer, has attested to the transformation.

My advice would be to seek Jesus. God can transform anyone's heart.

I can be a bit like this at times, and I find a good dose of realism helps. When I call customer services I tell myself before hand that I'm probably going to be on hold for too long, or speak to a bot or someone who only has access to the same website as me. I tell myself that this is just the way things are and wishing they were different won't change things. What can/can't I control about this situation?
It helps when I feel overwhelmed or anxious too.

My DH gets like this as well, he gets angry because our neighbour should realise that their barbeque smoke will make the washing smell or that a driver should realise that they're holding him up. I tell him (nicely) to stop thinking in 'shoulds', people should do lots of things....but they don't. See the world as it is and focus on what you can do, not what you can't do (e.g., I can't make my neighbour naturally more considerate)

Read "The subtle art of not giving a fuck"

I honestly don’t get angry or difficult. I just find things frustrating and it winds me up. And over time and with multiple annoying things I just feel fed up and rant to my DH about things. I never take it out on the people (bad drivers, customer service people, tradies etc) but inside I’m just fuming.

I understand it’s not worth worrying about things and to only control the controllable. But I can’t seem to find a way to breathe through it and stop the emotions

I just wish I was more laid back about things. How can I? Any one cracked it??

I used to be like this- turns out my husband was making me stressed, which in turn made me quick to anger about everything. Now he’s out of my life I am honestly so laid back I’m practically horizontal.

Not saying your husband is the problem, just that sometimes there is one underlying issue causing it all.

I've spent a lot of time working on the roots of my stress - you have to keep following the string until you get to a 'truth' which when you've 'revealed' it sounds so ridiculous you just stop caring....

So I used to get so stressed with the kids particularly when trying to leave the house.

It was because we were going to be late.

A) I could control this by being less selfish and getting up earlier / not doing all the last minute jobs and focus on helping them get sorted

B) I followed the string until I worked out I hated being late / rushing as I wanted everyone else to think I had motherhood completely licked and was sailing through life. I was scared that people would judge me as failing at being a mum if I was late!! How RIDICULOUS is that!! I know I'm doing my best, only an arsehole would judge me for being 5 mins late with 2 small kids and I don't care what arseholes think.

Boom - instant relief now that stress related to being late has vanished. I'm doing my best - delays / traffic etc are out of my control.

Serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

maybe because you live in the UK?

My DH is like this. He’s got slightly better with age. Personally I think ii’s a learnt behaviour in part. His dad used to behave this way. Both on the autistic spectrum and become anxious/reactive when things aren’t orderly.