to be frustrated

[BamBamHam]

Asked DH if he could help me think of things to put in a cover letter – I’m freelance and a lot of my recent work has been with a big agency. This means I don’t have info about analytics/results and so it’s hard to include achievements in the style of “implemented x which saw an x% increase in sales / conversions / whatever”. I can talk about my experience gained tho. Explained my issue to him. (We also work in the same area.) His response:

”It’s a shame you can’t talk about any of your experience. Just include some great examples”

Me: 🙄

The whole conversation then shifted focus into him being upset that I was frustrated by this advice (I pointed out this was absolutely pointless advice. He might as well have said “Just write a really good cover letter. And how about including info about -analytics- 💡”)

AIBU to have found this frustrating?!

(Asking as he has said I’m BU to be 🤨 in response to his advice 😵‍💫)

If you can't think of anything to go in your own cover letter, why would you expect him to be able to think of something? It's not his fault.

You sound incredibly tetchy to be honest.

Not expecting him to know specific examples to put in! Just hoping to talk it through really. (I have helped a lot with his CVs, cover letters, website, etc. in the past – happily!)

I was just like – come on tho “Just put in some great examples” It’s not very helpful 😅

What did you expect him to say? I suppose he could have been more supportive but if you don’t have the evidence then you don’t have it.

As PP says, if you don’t know what to write why on earth would he?

You’re taking out your frustration on him unfairly.

Nooo I wasn’t frustrated about the cover letter – it’s just one of those things.

Wouldn’t expect him to know of specific examples to write, was more in the hopes of talking it through and thinking what other stuff I could use. (I’ve read through lots of his cover letters, helped him approach work problems, etc – I’d have just thought it was a normal thing to talk through with your SO..!?)

Maybe I was BU 🤷🏻

Yep!

I think what he said isn't really unreasonable as if you don't know, neither will he. But the issue isn't really what he said is it- is it the fact that that is all he said and nothing more? You wanted to have a proper conversation with him about it, bounce ideas off each other etc. For expecting that in a partnership, YANBU

I'd say he meant put examples of the work you do without the results.

Well did uou give him your cover letter to rwad through and feedback? My DH couldn't give me ideas from blank, but if he read it he would always say "hold on you did x you told me. Is it good for CL?"

I agree with other if you yourswlf don't know how can he. Brainstorming about this comes after you write it

So you asked for advice, he tried to give some, you rolled your eyes at him and told him it was pointless advice?

Yeah can't imagine why he's upset with you.

Yeah wasn't expecting him to write the content for me – of course! – more just hoping to talk it through and think of how I might approach it

But ‘Just use great examples’ – I thought being a bit like – come on, what am I meant to do with that!? 😆 wasn’t a totally unfair reaction!

yeah that was exactly what I was hoping to do – talk through other stuff that I’ve done, just generally brainstorm. I already wrote a first draft, which I showed him

I wasn’t expecting him to just dictate a cover letter to me off the top of his head!

You were hoping he would get your brain thinking, a case of you know what you need to write but not sure how to start ? Or what examples?

in which case, start by saying you are unable to divulge figures, but you recently did xx which you found led to xy which in your experience would give a result of cyy . Your not actually giving results or actually saying anything did achieve a figure, just in past experience and based on current whatever’s they could expect a result of yy-cyy. Does anything make sense I know what I’m trying to say.

but I understand your frustration, you where looking for a sounding board to bounce ideas of and provide some inspiration and fir some reason he wasn’t feeling helpful

Thank you!! That’s really helpful!

(And yes exactly that :) )