DH didn’t come home… again (again)

[Roonil]

Hi lovely MNers

This is a follow up thread to the one I posted last weekend - had to delete as it got picked up by the press.

It looks like the news article has been removed (I emailed the editors and asked them to take it down).

DH is still gone, but is being predictably awful.

For anyone who didn’t read the original thread: he went out one afternoon last weekend and didn’t come home, ignored my calls and texts. I was home with Covid and a 6mo baby who had it too. Managed to get hold of him around 5.30am and his response was “cry me a fucking river.” He rocked up the next afternoon.

He’s been blaming me ever since. The newest line is that I’m controlling, it’s no big deal and if I did the same he wouldn’t have cared.

Not sure why I’m posting again really, mainly just for any solidarity/advice on how to deal with men who deflect absolutely everything and get nasty when you tell them enough is enough.

You need to kick him out. Speak to a lawyer about divorce and claim child maintenance.

For your own benefit, log a timeline of all unreasonable and emotionally abusive things he has done over the last year.

I sympathise but really don't understand why you are not making plans to leave? Can you not leave?

He’s already gone. But is giving me shit when he comes round to see kids/via message.

I remember your thread and some of the other details
Did you call Women's Aid?
He is abusive and you need to take steps to get him out of the house and divorce him

Pretty much what I was going to say.
We can give you a listening ear and sympathy but it won't change anything. You know what you need to do.

cross posted. Ignore the messages unless they are regarding access
Speak to a solicitor and start divorce proceedings
If he is abusive in person, call the police

Start divorce proceedings. You can do the divorce part online very easily, but you will need a solicitor or mediation for the financials and children.

Check the benefits calculator to see if you can get any help if you are financially struggling. Start the cms claim.

Set up a separate email. Message Ex with email and tell him all correspondence regarding the children and the divorce can be done that way. Then block him everywhere except that email.

Is the house owned or rental?

Change the lock if possible.