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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you spend sick leave

39 replies

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:24

I've only ever been off work sick before when I've been confined to bed/the sofa/the toilet so I don't know the rules! But I've been signed off for 10 days now due to a painful polyp! However, typically, as soon as I've now been signed off the pain has subsided a lot!

I'm not going back to work before my sick note ends as sod's law states it will get bad again if I do, so how am I allowed to act while off, please? If I'm feeling well enough, am I allowed to do a grocery shop? Pick the kids up from school? Pop for a coffee with a friend?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Strictly1 · 31/05/2024 11:29

If you’re well enough to go for a coffee and are absent due to pain, people would assume you were well enough to be in work unless you do a manual job etc.

DarkForces · 31/05/2024 11:30

I wouldn't be lugging heavy bags around while off with a polyp

TeenLifeMum · 31/05/2024 11:31

In those circumstances I’d collect dc and shop for essentials but I would only meet friends for coffee at my house.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 11:32

I think every workplace is probably different.

We have a small team and it's very rare for any of us to go off sick, so if I spotted someone out and about, I wouldn't think anything other than they were able to do it in that moment.

Other workplaces/people think differently.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 31/05/2024 11:32

Go on holiday if that's what floats your boat . My GP said sunshine and relaxation is the best remedy . This was mental health related tho. I wouldn't be posting it all over FB .
Yes you can grocery shop and pick the children up from school

MabelMaybe · 31/05/2024 11:33

You are allowed to go out and about. If you have a bad back, depression etc. being out and moving / engaging with people will make you feel better. If you know that X makes your symptoms worse, don't do them, but otherwise you can just go out and about. You have a doctor's note that says you aren't able to work. It's not anybody else's business. You don't need to sit at home demonstrating that you are too ill to work.

VolvoFan · 31/05/2024 11:34

It depends on the work you do. If it's manual, then going out for a coffee with friends would invalidate you needing to take time away from work. If your work requires a lot of brain power, then a lot of pain will render you unable to concentrate. If you have to commute, then either request WFH or take time off sick.

Original poster
muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:35

Thank you for replies!

Yes, mental health sickness would be more clear cut, as you could argue it was for restorative purposes to pop and see a friend.

That's why I'm worried about the definition with this one. A sensible person can see that an hour in town with a friend and then back home to rest and lie down is different to spending 8 hours sitting in an office, but I don't want them to think I'm having them on! Thank you for the advice

OP posts:
daffodilandtulip · 31/05/2024 11:36

I had a manager who used to do unannounced daily home visits to catch people out!

Hourlyglasshalffull · 31/05/2024 11:36

You can do whatever you feel capable of doing.

Purplecatshopaholic · 31/05/2024 11:37

If you are signed off sick, then it’s no one else’s business what you get up to (within reason - running a marathon while off with mobility issues might be a bit suspect). However, a doctor knows you are suffering from a medical issue, your work colleagues are presumably not doctors so can’t comment on what you can and cannot do while off sick. If you feel well enough to leave the house then fine - but do take it easy!

littlebluecaravan · 31/05/2024 11:39

Anything that is an absolute must like picking the kids up then of course you should do it.

Grocery shopping could be delivered so you don't need to carry heavy bags to go walking around loads and aggravate your polyp.

I probably wouldn't want to risk being out in public having a coffee and shopping but I'd absolutely go and visit a friend at their house or invite them to see me.

VolvoFan · 31/05/2024 11:42

I WFH and while I was in agony and flooding through pads last month (complications from an MMC), my manager, in a rare moment of lucidity, told me to take the day off. They're usually an utter pillock, so it was quite refreshing to see them using their brain. I just popped a couple of codeine tablets to take the edge off and I was fine. A little giggly, but fine.

mitogoshi · 31/05/2024 11:48

If you recover quicker than the sick note you go back to work surely

Original poster
muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:49

Differing opinions then, ranging from stay home to go on holiday! It's so conflicting! Basically, today especially, I feel fine and really want to take the kids to the park later on, but I'm too nervous now to leave home in case I'm 'spotted!' This sick leave has done more harm than good haha

OP posts:
Original poster
muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

mitogoshi · 31/05/2024 11:48

If you recover quicker than the sick note you go back to work surely

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

OP posts:
OliveK · 31/05/2024 11:51

I found this very stressful when off, and basically didn't leave the house unless it was crucial. Kind friends came to mine for coffee. But to be honest I think it didn't help my recovery as my mental health plummeted.

Lalog · 31/05/2024 11:51

I go to Ibiza and take loads of drugs.

MrsAvocet · 31/05/2024 11:53

Remember that you are unfit for work, not unfit for life.
Being ill/well is not binary. It's not like you are either bedbound or completely fit.
Doing what you can within the limits of your condition is generally a good thing - just don't overdo it.
People will probably talk* *but frankly it is none of their business. Your contract of employment is with your employer, not with your colleagues. If your absence affects their workload then they need to bring it up with their line manager. Your illness is your business and the only people at work who have any right to know about it are your managers, HR and Occ Health.

wizarddry · 31/05/2024 11:55

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

Show quote history

A lot of companies wouldn't let you back for insurance purposes

Ariela · 31/05/2024 12:16

I've taken a pillow/cushion and blanket and laid on the bench at the park to watch the kids play before now.

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

Show quote history

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

buffyslayer · 31/05/2024 12:29

Strictly1 · 31/05/2024 11:29

If you’re well enough to go for a coffee and are absent due to pain, people would assume you were well enough to be in work unless you do a manual job etc.

Definitely not true

I was off work, able to go for a coffee but unable to sit down for more than 90 mins and signed off work for 8 weeks
Yes I was out walking and in the gym doing physio as advised but the rest of the time I was sleeping or lying down as I couldn't sit
Recovery is a thing...

If I've no voice I can't work but I'm capable of having a coffee

Original poster
muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 12:34

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

Show quote history

Taking the piss to stick to Drs advice? You really think so?

OP posts:
HaveANiceFuckingDay · 31/05/2024 12:49

mitogoshi · 31/05/2024 11:48

If you recover quicker than the sick note you go back to work surely

I went back before my sicknote ran out . I was quickly shown the door back out again and was told I had to see out my sicknote and even if they did want me back I wasn't allowed . Insurance apparently