My DH is Spanish. We've been invited to Spain for a birthday/housewarming celebration in the summer, during term time so just a weekend trip. My MIL is sick, so DH wants to take any opportunity he can to see her and also take the kids. He's just asked if I want to come, or have the weekend off. Hadn't occurred to me not to go till he said it, but now I'm not sure what to do.
Cons of going:
- It's an additional flight we could avoid paying for. Money isn't exactly abundant right now, but we do have savings precisely for this sort of thing due to the ailing parents. Want to be able to see them if there's need/opportunity.
- The children will benefit from full language immersion if I'm not there as I don't speak Spanish (I understand it so people can speak it around me, but I often reply in English which encourages them to follow suit)
- The children are ratbags when I'm around. It's that safe space thing, which is lovely in theory but can be quite shit to live through. I'm pretty certain they will be better behaved and therefore everyone will have a nicer time if I'm not there
- I'm also pretty socially anxious a lot of the time, so when we're at soirees like this DH will just naturally be worried about/checking on me. He wouldn't have to do that if I'm not there. Though would be watching both kids!
- I'd be turning down a weekend of sleep...actual uninterrupted sleep, and alone time! Bathroom time without pre-schoolers, not having to share snacks. Plus the longest DIY list known to humanity might actually get a little shorter if I have time to myself here.
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Pro's of going:
- I want to go. I love these people. It's a family party and I am part of that family now. I want to see everyone and celebrate with them etc (notice the many I statements here, it feels mostly about me).
- We'd be coparenting so DH could spend some quality time with his family rather than needing to solo parent the smalls. Plus flying solo with 2 small kids is a bit >gulp<. Though DH doesn't seem worried about it at all.
WWYD?
YABU - Go! What are you waiting for? Sod the tantrums, go and soak up the good bits. Noone ever regretted not doing more DIY on their deathbed, it's always more time with family.
YANBU - Stay. Get ready to binge greys anatomy whilst stripping wallpaper. Plus you can get a nice deliveroo with the flight money you've saved. Enjoy the peace!