To ask if appearance really matters?

[mrlistersgelfbride]

I'm hideous. I think I always have been.
I have pale skin, a huge hooked nose that takes over my face, bad hair.
I meant to have surgery when I was young but I could never afford it and by the time I could, I decided not to as (suprisingly) my appearance never held me back like I thought it would.

I have plenty of friends, an ok career, I had boyfriends and went on plenty of dates and have a long term partner.
I realise as I'm getting older that I have jowls and wrinkles to add to the mix.
I hate having my photo taken , I hate seeing my profile. Sure I've had the odd nasty comment over the years, but that happens to lots of people.
But other than that, I'm happy enough.
I don't see the need for surgery, I'd rather spend my money on my daughter for us to have nice holidays and days out.
But it does get me down what I look like.
I like fashion and I wear make up every day but it can't hide the hideousness. Often I try not to think about it. It's only when I see mirrors/other people's photos and videos, that I'm reminded.
So I'm asking, does appearance really matter?

YABU- Yes it does
YANBU- No it doesn't really

I think the way you present yourself matters, and that everyone can present themselves in a good light. You sound like you look interesting and striking which is much better than looking conventionally pretty because a) it lasts and b) it's more memorable.

I think being pretty can actually be a negative, because people try to be with you for the wrong reasons and may not be interested in your mind or what you have to say.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

One of my best mates looks like Rambo and she's married to a hottie and has a great job. She does smile a lot and is wonderful. I think she's beautiful and she tells people Stallone is her dad for laughs.

Doesn't matter in the slightest to me. We're all just people.

Matter in what sense?

Fwiw, I doubt you're hideous.... however even if you were, you have friends, a partner, a child and a career ...your life sounds pretty good so why would it matter anyway? But like I said, I'm sure you're not hideous. I see people during the day who are at various levels of attractiveness but I don't see people who are hideous so I struggle to believe you are.

Looking after yourself matters - clean hair, skin, body. Presenting yourself in a way that you like. Those are the things I notice. How people carry themselves and so on.

Appearance in the sense you mean here? No, I don't think so. My DH has a lovely big nose - I find it really attractive! I've seen pictures of men and women who've had nose jobs and traded their pronounced noses for a little slope, and I always think it's a shame, though I absolutely see why they'd do it. Same as people who get braces! I loved Bowie's "original" teeth. They made him him.

What's unattractive to you might well be very attractive to someone else! Hideous is such a strong word. I've met one or two truly hideous people over the years, but it wasn't their faces that made them so. It was their miserable as sin personalities.

Appearance's do matter but confidence matters more.

I think some people have the edge if they’re prettier but in general I think looking after yourself and being happy does the job!!

It sounds trite when you feel ugly, but I do believe true beauty come from kindness. A kind person is always attractive, however they look.

'A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely'. (Roald Dahl, The Twits)

Matter how? To whom? You have a partner, a career, friends. I don't see the problem. If you want to do something for you, do it.