Me and ex have a 2 year old DD. We originally lived together but separated shortly after the birth. I tried to make it work (in hindsight I wish I hadn’t!), but he was adamant it was over. I temporarily lived with my parents and DD until I found a house to buy in that area. That’s where I now live. This was around 1.5 hours from where I was living with ex, but I knew nobody in that area and had nowhere to go, which is why I came back to family after the split.
Since then, ex has moved four hours from where we used to live and is now around 2.5 to 3 hours from where I am now. He did this for work.
I have allowed him to stay most weekends, coming up Saturday and staying until Sunday when dd goes to bed. To be honest I needed the support as DD was only one at the time and it was very full on. As she’s getting older obviously things have got easier but I have questioned to myself why I ever allowed him in my home. If I had said no then he would have just come up for the day and I would have had to do seven days a week wake ups and seven nights all myself… so in some ways I felt pushed into it.
Anyway I have since said that it’s not appropriate for him to stay in my home and that DD shouldn’t get used to that happening. He’s said he will have to just come up for the day then because he can’t afford to stay over anywhere.
I feel in such a difficult position because DD loves seeing him and it does allow me some small amount of rest. But I also feel sick about things he did when we were together and I hate that he is in my home, as time has gone on I’ve felt more uneasy about him being around. He won’t have DD in his own place as he says it isn’t set up for it. (He can’t be arsed). I also don’t want him saying to Dd that I stopped him seeing her which is what he suggested he would do in the future. Not sure what to do? I feel stuck