Is ordering tap water in a restaurant rude?

[TigerOnTour]

My friend often orders tap water in restaurants and I think it's a bit rude. She also has a tiny appetite so will basically just order a side, a starter or a child's meal. I feel like we are pissing off the restaurant. Obviously we don't all have to order a bottle of champagne, but a coke isn't expensive. Friend is very wealthy, if that matters.

I only drink tap water as I don't like soft drinks but would order a main meal.

If she was taking up a big table by herself and barely ordering anything then that could be an issue but if she's with other people ordering more then it's fine.

We always order tap water when we go out to eat as a family. We all just prefer water. We've spent plenty on meals for a family of 5, I've never considered it rude.

Honestly, without wanting to sound like an entitled prick, isn't a restaurant there to serve you? If what you want to eat is a salad and some water... isn't it their job to give you that? Should you only go out to eat if you want to order a rack of ribs and wine? Their business model should surely account for not every customer ordering the most expensive items on the menu.

I'm gobsmacked. The staff must have been really meek and timid. Most places would ask you to leave, probably after about 10-15 minutes of ordering nothing.

I don't like fizzy drinks. I order tap water because I like it so does DS. DH orders alcohol. We all order meals and DH and DS have desserts too. I don't because I'm not really keen on desserts. I might order cheese and crackers if they have it though. It's not rude to order tap water.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I’m with you OP. Restaurants are struggling with costs rising etc. I would think it’s taking the piss for an adult to order a glass of tap water and a kids meal. I would avoid going out with her in the future and suggest something else like An activity or cinema or theatre etc that’s not food related.

Her being wealthy doesn’t mean she has to have a big appetite. Many people go for just a starter (or even a child’s meal if it’s allowed It isn’t in many restaurants). My elderly mother couldn’t eat a main and a large plateful put in front of her put her off eating at all. Nothing wrong with tap water either. Assume she’s driving or a non drinker. If there’s at least two of you the restaurant isn’t suffering. Why not go for afternoon tea instead if you find her embarrassing.

Of course it isn't rude. Most restaurants these days make a big thing of serving tao water appealingly eg chilled and filtered in a nice bottle. It's the norm now.

There was a time when ordering bottled water was presented as the smarter option and tap water was seen as a bit cheap- that was decades ago though. These days I think it's the other way round- you look much worse ordering bottled (still) water and the smarter thing to do is order tap.

DS, aged about 6 and I used to order the "wrong" breakfast. He ordered me a kids fry up, I ordered him an adults blueberry pancake stack. Then we swapped. Other child, plus DH ordered adults meals too. I guess we knew it was cheeky, otherwise we'd have ordered what we wanted. But we spent a fortune in that restaurant (not in uk - getting bacon and prizes sausages was difficult).

And yes, I usually order tap water. I'd rather eat desert than drink my sugar!

I always order tap water as it has the smallest carbon footprint.

I doubt the restaurant has an issue so long as the rest of the table is eating etc.

Definitely not, tap water more eco choice than bottled. Would not go back to any restaurant that refused to serve tap water.

Tap water all the way. Generous tips all the way, too. At least £5 just for the "free" glass of water.

I think it is fine to order tap water.

When she orders a side salad or kid's meal, are you ordering a "normal" meal? I would feel quite uncomfortable in this situation - if friends go out for lunch or dinner, they should have a shared experience. Even if she says "Oh no, I'm fine with this kid's meal!", I'd feel quite judged for ordering an adult's main.

It sounds as though eating out with this person isn't an enjoyable experience. You are allowed to refuse to eat out with her.

Someone said upthread that we shouldn't worry about restaurants losing money when we order tap water and a salad. It's really hard to run a restaurant and make a profit - even restaurants that look successful. A lovely restaurant near me closed down a couple of years ago - it was always full but the owner said she was working a 100+ hour week and barely paying herself; she couldn't reasonably charge any more.

So don’t go to a restaurant if you’re not ordering a meal? Not hard

Of course its not rude. Good restaurants will usually provide a jug of fresh water without even being asked and I'm certainly not going to pay for soft drinks I don't like just because tap water is free.

Restaurants are perfectly free to set a minimum charge at peak times or reserve the right to serve only meals rather than just tea or coffee during such times. If restaurants don't set such requirements then they are not finding it a problem.

She is ordering a meal, just a small one. Perfectly fine.

If I'm not drinking alcohol I always order tap water because that's what I prefer to drink with food. I don't want a glass of sugary liquid spoiling the tastes of my savoury food.

Definitely not rude.

Bottled water is one of the best rip offs ever invented! In hard water areas it tastes a bit different due to the calcium carbonate (but I am used to it anyway) but, in blind tastings, in most areas, people can’t actually tell the difference.

However, I think it is polite to be cognisant of total spend. If it is 8pm on a Saturday night and the restaurant is full, a tap water and a side seems pretty mean. If the restaurant is pretty empty, it is fine, whatever you spend is a bonus for the restaurant as their costs are fixed.

Personally I always order tap water (unless our with friends and they want to share a bottle), but I like my food and order at least a glass of decent wine with it.

Nothing wrong with ordering tap water if you don't want juice or fizzy drinks. Some places have really crap soft drink options

If that's what you want to drink, then no, of course it isn't rude.

Whether they charge you or not is a different issue. Our local pub charges 50p for washing up the glass but you can have as much water as you want if you are eating.

If I'm in a restaurant I always ask for tap water for the table alongside any alcoholic or soft drinks we order.Some restaurants ask if we want a jug of water for the table.I wouldn't ask for just tap water and not order any other drinks.

I’d have said something to her and no way would I have been taking up a table drinking tap water. Edinburgh is busy at this time of year, your relative could have sat in Princes Street park with a bottle of water from a shop, that’s really rude.

Just noticed you were near the castle probably on The Royal Mile, I’m surprised they never asked you to leave as the tables are like hens teeth around that area in good weather.

I’m prediabetic and have been told not to have sugars or sweeteners. There are other health and non-health related reasons why you would avoid them too. If she has a small appetite then a drink other than water could also fill her up but without providing the appropriate nutrition.

This.

I drink 80% water, 20% coffee with the occasional G&T.

I don't want to buy coke or other rubbish just to be "polite"

No it’s not rude. And I often order a starter and a side rather than a main.

Does the friend normally drink coke or similar at home with meals? If she doesn't eat a lot then she's right to order a smaller meal instead of buying a larger meal for the sake of it and then wasting the food just so she's spent more for the taking up of a table. I don't think she's rude as realistically even if she did order a coke instead the bill would only be a couple of quid dearer so I don't think it would make that much difference to the restaurant