Super try-hard colleague at work

[Lorews]

I know I'm probably being unreasonable. What's wrong with someone trying hard at work?

But in recent weeks it's reached new levels and harder to ignore and just comes across as very contrived. I can only assume they're desperate for next promotion.

Always has to be first to reply to messages, especially from boss.
Floods Teams with messages on multiple channels to demonstrate what they're doing and how proactive they are.
Really sucks up to boss in a nauseating way to show they've read/ done extra work or treats boss as some sort of oracle and they lap up everything they say.
Waffles on in meetings but without saying much of substance, feels more performative than actually bringing valid points up.

Does anyone else get irritated by such colleagues or am I just a miserable cow? I'm all for enthusiasm but when it seems put on for show and a bit fake then I can't be doing with it

Replying efficiently, keeping others in the loop and learning from those in the know aren't a problem. Waffling for the sake of being centre of attention might be, but being inexperienced or unsure can cause people to come across awkwardly when they want to contribute.

Honestly, it’s so subjective I can’t vote. Some people really are super into work like that or get caught up in honest admiration for a boss, and they maybe don’t yet have the self-awareness or maturity to rein it in.

One person’s authentic enthusiasm for a job that was hard won, or that they feel lucky they managed to get, can ring false or seem performative to a colleague at a different life stage or career stage or with different other stuff going in their own life.

I get that it can be annoying. But in a way I’d rather a bit of that than absolutely everyone being cynical and restrained all the time.

If your boss is competent, savvy and not ego driven, they will see through any performance and judge on productivity and merit, so your colleague may rein it in if it has no positive impact. If your boss rewards sycophancy over competence then you have a manager problem.

Yeah, this stuff normally comes out in the wash sooner or later! Either they will prove themselves by actually delivering something or it will become apparent to everyone that there’s no back up to the chat. I am old enough to have seem this many times and now I just let them get on with it and keep on doing my job.

I think it's impossible for others to say whether YABU without actually seeing/knowing the dynamic in your office. I completely get where you're coming from, but I know from my own working life that what seems sycophantic and try-hard to some can be seen hard-working and enthusiastic by others.

I think maybe the way to handle this to stop yourself from combusting is to try and rationally about how her behaviour actually affects you and your career in a tangible way. Ultimately, does it matter if she's always the first to reply to messages? Does it really have any impact on your own work? If she's aiming for promotion - would be she be competing for that promotion with you? Or does it actually not matter what her career path is? When she waffles in meetings and floods Teams channels with updates, do you think your bosses actually care? Because my guess is that they are probably mildly irritated by it if they're being inundated with notifications about stuff they don't need to know and haven't asked for.

Is your worry that her efforts are making everyone else (or just you?!) look lazy by comparison? If you're still achieving good results at work, though, I'm sure that won't be the case.

I have a colleague thesame. Most of what he says is nonsense and regurgitating "big words" he has heard from boss or other external parties we work for. Takes the most minute pointless job so seriously. Drives me unreasonably batty. But he is such a nice guy

They sound anxious

YANBU winds me up

Yep, I've worked with these people before and they're so annoying. I remember sitting in a bar at some after work drinks with one, the two of us were mid chat, the boss walked into the bar and he literally stood up mid sentence and walked off to greet her. I think it's either they're super anxious people pleasers, in which case I do sympathise. Or, they're hyper ambitious and want to jump through this hoop as quick as possible, happily throwing anyone under the bus as they go.

Depends on if there are keeping everyone in the loop with stuff they need to know or a distraction.

If they are a distraction have a conversation about what you need to know and what you don’t either directly or a general team chat about everyone excessive emails/pings.

This

I have this. But I’m this case I think she wants a promotion but is also genuinely a helpful person with a large amount of anxiety built in.

I know you probably cannot, as it would be outing, but this is so hard to tell without examples/ wider context.

Are you a spread out team, with some people in different offices/ WFH? Or are you all together?

Is the person/ someone else in the team ND and there has been a request to check things back in writing.

Are they doing a good job? Or are they anxious? Are they established? Are they new-to-role?

Are they younger? Older?

So many variables.

I don’t find them annoying but I feel a bit sorry for them. Our bosses always take full advantage and then don’t promote them or pile on the work until they decide that they have to leave.

You do you, and let them do them. Some people are just irritating, I wouldn’t let it bother me.

Im saying you are being unreasonable letting it get to you as if you can see it then so can everyone else. If they get a promotion then so be it, they went all out and sold their soul, good for them, they set out to acheive a promotion at the cost of their personality, soul and self worth. But maybe they wont get a promotion at promotion time and then you will likely see them retreat to be more normal. Maybe a senior person has told them if they act like this they will be considered for promotion? Maybe they are very desparate to earn more for personal reasons and are doing anything and everything they can think of to get the raise. Either way, just dont worry yourself with it. It will be blindingly obvious to managers what they are doing and why.