My 4.5 year old went to a holiday camp over half-term, just for one day that she’s normally off from nursery. It’s an activity that she loves and wants to do regularly so figured it would be a good opportunity to start. The camp was 6h long with many kids her age (or a bit younger 4) and older ones, going all the way to 12 but most kids were in 4-7 age group I would say. About 30-40 kids in a very large hall. When we arrived first thing I did was to take her to the toilet so that she’s ready for the day and also so she knows where the toilets are. When I picked her up I arrived a few minutes earlier and watched what they were doing. I could immediately see that she was absolutely bursting to go to the toilet. She couldn’t really focus and was fidgeting - she usually can focus and listen really well. When she saw me she mouth to me: “I need toilet”, I mouth back “tell your teacher”, she mouth back “I did. The teacher said ‘later’”. Luckily the camp finished and she rushed to the loo. Now, my plan was to book her for this camp for some chunk of summer holiday if she liked it and got on well which she did. However I am torn by the toilet situation and don’t know what’s reasonable. I am aware that camp like this won’t provide the same level of care that nursery does but also don’t think it crazy to expect that 4 year olds might need a toilet at shorter notice. The problem is to go to the toilet she would need to open 3 sets of heavy doors - she really struggles to physically open them. This particular toilet was not build for small children - for instance the tap is too high so she won’t be able to wash her hands unless someone else helps her plus I am also concerned about her trying to lock the stall door and then being unable to open them. I imagine coaches don’t want to be taking multiple trips with children to the toilet (I am also not sure what safeguarding rules are - are kids meant to go to toilet unsupervised?) but it looks like she will struggle otherwise. She told me she went to the toilet at lunchtime and older kids helped her open the door. It looks like she needs another toilet break after lunch which sounds about right (every 3h) given the coaches encourage kids to have regular drinks.
For extra context, she did the same activity a few months ago after school (with primary school children) where she had a toilet accident because she didn’t ask teacher to go to the loo. She didn’t ask because another, much older child, asked and was told “no” so she said there was no way teacher will let her. I explained to her that she needs to tell teacher if she needs to go so bad she can’t hold it because she’s little and can’t hold it as long as older kids.
AIBU to not sign her up to her favourite activity for summer (that is also significantly cheaper than the nursery) until she is ready to be more independent in the toilet / able to hold it for longer?
UABU - sign her up - she will be fine (plus talk to coaches?)
UANBU - wait until she can go to the toilet independently/ hold it for longer.