Phone shop experience with disabled Mum

[CoffeeAndCakeBringMeJoy]

I would really like to know if others think I’m overreacting to this one… Took my disabled DM, who is a wheelchair user, to buy a new phone. She hasn’t always been a wheelchair user, but medical conditions in later life now make it necessary, and she is registered as disabled and has a blue badge. She hasn’t changed her phone in years - this was a necessary purchase as the old phone isn’t charging properly. She likes to go to the shop to buy such items; like many older people she doesn’t like online shopping, particularly for higher value items.

We went to the local branch of a national phone network. DF and DD9 were with us. I was pushing DM’s wheelchair. A member of staff approached us immediately; they didn’t look at DM but spoke to me. I told them that we weren’t here for me, but for DM. DM is perfectly capable of holding a conversation - her disability is physical, and whilst she tires easily, she is more than capable of handling this transaction. The staff member continued to speak to me. They then said that the systems were down so they couldn’t access DM’s details (she has a SIM only contract with this company). Frustrating, but these things happen. I asked if we could look at the phones in store, so she could at least consider her options before returning another day.

At this point, it became clear that DM couldn’t see any of the phones because of the height of displays in the shop - they are not visible to anyone in a wheelchair, as they are above eye level when seated. The prices are displayed upon tapping the screens of the devices on display, which meant that she couldn’t see any of the prices without us reading them to her. The staff told us that we should look online. I then politely queried why someone who is disabled wasn’t able to access the products in the same way as someone who doesn’t have a disability, and was told that it was “like someone short needing help to reach an item on a high shelf in the supermarket”. I was also told, at least three times that, “the company must protect its assets”. I don’t doubt this, and recognise that phones are often stolen, but given that my query was with regard to the height of the display units, and the fact that this rendered it impossible for wheelchair users to see the devices or the on-screen prices, am struggling to see the relevance - the items could continue to be secured in their current manner, locked into secure frames, but at a lower level which would ensure accessibility for all.

Three members of staff stood in a semi-circle around my DM and myself, all with their arms folded, and instructing us to “take it up with head office”. I was careful to ensure that I remained calm throughout the conversation, and I was polite throughout. I fully recognise that they are employees of the company, and almost certainly had no direct involvement in the shop fitting process or in determining shelf height, but their manner was somewhat intimidatory. I am concerned that at no point did they ever speak to directly to DM, who is their customer, and has been for many years. Nobody said anything along the lines of, “We’re really sorry that you can’t access the items you need, but if you let us know what it is you would like to find out, we’ll do our best to talk you through it, and we’ll raise the issue regarding the height of our displays with our colleagues, as disability access should be considered”.

After we left the shop (without a new phone for DM!), a customer who had been in the shop at the same time called out to us and told us that they were appalled by the way in which the staff had spoken to us. We hadn’t interacted with them whilst we were in the shop, and hadn’t sought out a conversation with them after we had left.

I think that there are disability discrimination and/or Equality Act issues here, but would appreciate the thoughts of others as I may be overreacting as it’s my DM, who is lovely, and I know I’m very protective of her. It isn’t just the height of the displays, but also the seemingly total lack of awareness/recognition/support from the staff in the shop, and the total focus upon “we need to protect the company’s assets”.

My DH doesn’t want me to pursue it, but several hours later I still think it should be raised with the company concerned. To be clear, I don’t want to pursue a financial claim for DM, I just want the shop to be accessible for all, and for the staff to recognise people in wheelchairs by supporting them appropriately. In the longer term, I would like to see some areas of lower-level displays in order to enable wheelchair users to access the products and understand the pricing structure. However, I’m happy to be told that AIBU and that I need to let this one go - I know I’m emotionally involved because it’s my DM.

All thoughts and opinions welcome, thank-you!

I think it's ultimately your mums decision if she wants to make a formal complaint (which she'd be well within her rights to) but if she doesn't want to I think it would still be reasonable for you to write a letter of complaint without using your mum's specific details. It sounds like the staff have less awareness than they should and they got defensive rather than accepting that this was an issue and offering to raise it themselves which is unacceptable. I'm so sorry your mum had to experience that.

You sound like a very calm and reasonable person and honestly, I would raise it regardless of what your parents think. You are making them aware of an issue that will affect many people not just your DM. It doesn't have to be personal but they absolutely should change their polities and educate their staff.
Sorry you and your family had to go through that, you behaved with more restraint than I probably would.

Absolutely write to head office about your experience. It's so disrespectful when people direct their conversation to one person just because they're standing up.

I like to think the company would address this, certainly with the branch you visited, but maybe review training with all their staff nationwide.

It's such a shame this shit still happens.

I’m sorry this happened to your Mum. I would absolutely take it up with head office! They told you to! This is definitely disability discrimination and appalling.
I broke my leg a couple of years ago and I was horrified to be treated as a ‘lesser being’ by a member of staff somewhere we’ve attended regularly for years. She talked over me, refused to listen to what I said and ruined the experience (and it was a gift experience for DD that had not come cheap). I complained later and I got an apology and the company gave me a voucher so we could do the experience again when I was better. It was only about 3 months my mobility was limited but it was an eye opener!
I’d complain wherever you can - email, call, tweets seem to get a lot of attention? Also vote with your feet and go to a different company for her new phone.

Very poor.
I was in a branch of Next recently and the young chap in front of me in the queue was a wheelchair user. He was there to pick something up from click n collect. Despite the store being almost empty the girl serving looked over him to me. As if someone in a wheelchair couldn't possibly be there under their own agency.

That's shocking. I would complain.

Do complain. My mum was a wheelchair user so I understand your perspective. The treatment and attitude you all experienced were definitely unacceptable.

Yes, please complain. I thought that these days companies were much more on the ball about accessibility. And the attitude of the staff was appalling.

My DH doesn’t want me to pursue it,

Whyever not? How does you making a complaint affect him?

I wouldn't head it up as a complaint, but
as "customer experience feedback". Explain what happened. Explain what you would have liked to happen and ask them whether they think that is reasonable. Ask them which approach they think provides the better customer experience in store, and which is likely to make you want to return. Tell them about the other customers comments and whether they think that customer had a positive recollection of their visit. Give them all the info so they can make their own conclusion and ask for their thoughts.

Just the word 'complaint' (and yours is a very valid one) gets companies' backs up and gets them (needlessly) on the defensive. The approach above is less likely to , and leaves the floor open for dialogue which can be actually constructive to how a company works in future. You can, and should, still be fuming about it, but it's how you put forward your complaint that will make the difference here.

I've recently become disabled and am currently armed to the teeth with Equality Act 2010 so I feel your anger on behalf of your DM. I also work in the NHS and make a point of ALWAYS speaking to the Patient, even if I know full well they don't have the capacity to understand or reply to what I'm asking them. I can look at them and talk to them even if we all know it's a nod or whisper from a relative over their shoulder that will be my real answer. And that's not medical training, it's just common (or not so common!) decency. I really am narked on your behalf. Idiots.

I worked in retail for years, including phones and electronics at one point, and am very sensitive to people overreacting to minor things or being uppity with staff over things that are out of their control, but this situation is not that at all. I'd honestly write to head office if I were you, they behaved horribly and need to be pulled up on it and given some additional training on disability awareness and accessibility.

We had people raise concerns with our accessibility several times in a store I worked in and later managed, and we always took it on board and fed back to head office. Change is possible if you push hard enough, I had several accessibility changes made in my time there just by listening.

It's really appalling that not only did they literally treat your mum like a second class citizen, but totally dismissed your questions and concerns. It would have been so easy for one of them to chat to your mum and talk her through her options, and instead they did what? Stand around you and vaguely hint that you might be trying to nick one of their "assets"? Bloody idiots.

Lowering the displays would likely make it less accessible for others as the displays would then be too low

But they could have done so much better. Spoken to her. Asked what she was after. Had display models which could be removed and given to her, one at a time, so she could see them and be told the price.

It's a fairly ageist assumption to make that you were there for yourself but it becomes disability discrimination when they were told it was for your mother and they still ignored her.

Structuring a message to Head Office suggesting improvements to their access is definitely in order

Your post reminded me of this which I saw last week, about the apparent invisibility of wheelchair users https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7RY44goD9P/?igsh=MWtzMWN4NWo4YW9lMg==

I would definitely raise it - aside from the human angle of how you and your mum felt, the company has potentially lost a sale over poor training for its staff in handling reasonable adjustments. Such an easy fix (and something they could easily mystery shop as well) which would benefit other customers too.

It’s worth your mother raising the issue with the shop, however keeping everything at a lower level for disabled people isn’t a requirement I’m afraid. Much the same with all shops.
At least phone shops do have plenty of staff around to help unlike many others

I can’t imagine how horrible it is for people in a wheelchair to be ignored in conversations as your mother was the client she should complain to the shop about this I think.

Although if I were you OP I would tell the shop assistants your mother is the client, she can’t reach anything and needs advice. Then I’d take a seat and leave them to it. That way they will have to talk to your mother and help her find what she wants. Maybe having to spend so much time with one customer might make them rethink how they can make life easier for everyone.

I'm sorry ur mum had that experience, I became a powerchair user in the last couple of years and I was so shocked at how people treated me. I get leaned or even climbed over constantly, a lot of people actually say sorry just before they do it, if they were actually sorry they wouldn't do it. Also the amount of people that push in front if I'm in a queue when I kno they've seen me, but they assume I'll be slow. I often end up in tears becus everything is just so hard, and I'm in constant pain, its hard to get out of the house and then to be treated like tht, its hard not to lose your faith in humanity. You do get some kind people and theyre so rare that I get quite emotional when it happens. Sorry, its such a big topic for me, but back to ur point about the phones. I had this exact situation about 6 months ago, 02 were awful to me, and said exactly what u said, to take it up with head office and to order a phone online, I said I want to look at a phone before I buy it, its a big purchase, he said u can buy one and send it back, he did not get it and was very rude, he said the phones are locked into the docks and noone has the key. I emailed head office, and I pursued it but didn't get anywhere, I don't remember the exact details but I do remember that it was very frustrating and I didnt get anywhere and after quite a few emails I had to eventually give up as I went through a bad patch with my disability. When I was at the shopping centre, I went across to vodafone and it was the same situation with the counters being too high but the man in there was much nicer, it still doesnt fix the issue though, and it does need fixing. In the same shopping centre the samsung own store has similar height counters, but the phones are all on those retractable security leashes, so it is doable to be accessible and still have the phones secured. I don't understand how phone places have got away with this, it really is blatant discrimination. Please do let us know how you got on if you do decide to fight this, I hope you do better than I did, goodluck, I really appreciate people like you xx

Trustpilot, X, Facebook, social media is definitely the way to get the attention of companies these days. My partner is recently disabled and it has really opened my eyes as to how twattish so many companies are. No wonder they're all going out of business at a rate of knots.

See if you can find out who the head of their customer relations department is and write to them. The fact the phones were at stupid heights and not retractable is bad enough but the behaviour of the kids - at least I'm presuming they were all very young - indicates a severe training need.

I hope you get an apology at the very least.

Sorry for your experience OP, you sound like a great DD. I hope you get the phone you want for DM.

Obviously please do what is best for you and your family, but can I raise the option of thinking about naming and shaming in a review online?

Like you say, it's not actually about the query itself. It's often staff being on a power trip and being difficult for its own sake, and taking job stress out on people they see as easy targets.

You're not telling others what to do, just giving your experience.

As a solo woman, I personally REALLY don't want to go into a shop with aggressive staff (let alone pay money for any of their services) so I'd like to know.

For example, I got weird/aggressive service from Morrisons, and I noticed a couple of other people have flagged that store, so I just stop shopping there.

Morrisons were fine before lockdown (my favourite shop) but then seemed to have gone wrong.

I'm super-polite (petite and well spoken) - that isn't a flex, just to say that I'm obviously not capable of, or trying to intimidate anyone!).

Staff like this tend to treat solo women, non-white people, anyone they think they can dominate like dirt but then all nicey-nice with some bloke.

Or they'll intimidate a solo woman but then watch as a male shoplifter walks out of the door.

I'd rather vote with my money and not go into a store with people who behave in that way and ruin my day.

Plenty of competitors in 2024.

But I need to have the information first.

I would certainly contact them about this.

If lower level displays are not possible (and I don't think thats true, plenty of other stores do have lower level displays) then display units on retractable cords and a shop assistant offering to bring them down for someone to see is the solution.

Assuming it was you who was shopping was bad (they should have asked!), to then continue to speak to you rather than your DM is awful, I would certainly raise that too.

If your mum wants you to complain I would but if she doesn't and you complain anyway are you dismissing her wishes just as much as you think the shop was doing in the first place?

I presume she has her own way of handling it and would respect like that like I would do for anyone disabled or not

Mmm, I don't agree @SpringerFall OP can complain about her experience. She does not have to (and I do agree, should not) complain on her DM's behalf. But I think she has the right to complain about what she personally experienced in the store.

If her DM doesn't want to complain herself thats absolutely fine, and if she doesn't want to hear about it again, ditto... but OP's experience, distress, upset etc are all valid points.

If I am in a situation because of another person and something comes up because of that I respect their wishes

All it would have taken was for a member of staff to take responsibility for serving your mum, guiding her round the displays and bringing the phones down to show her (they are usually on a cord?).

Bunch of cunts.

I don't like buying products like this online, I want to hold it, look at it, ask questions, make sure the tariff is the best deal possible and appropriate for what I need. I would mostly likely balls it up online.

Yes complain
the display thing would be quite difficult f you put everything at wheelchair height it wouldn’t really be practical as you’d literally have a couple of rows out

but I would expect them to have a tablet a wheelchair user could look at and used to see the phones that were higher up

in the current climate everything has to be literally nailed down in shops
a lot have done away with the retractable cords now as too easy to cut and are on fixed brackets

it does sound like they assumed it was you who was looking you corrected but then still took the lead
I would of stepped back altogether and left your mum and sales assistant to it

I can see this from both sides.

On one hand, the design of the displays is way above the pay grade of the min wage staff in the store, they have absolutely no control over it. I can see why they would get defensive if you started complaining that it was discriminatory. They basically closed ranks and told you to take it up with head office, which is absolutely correct.

On the other hand, their behaviour was unacceptable. They shouldn’t overlook a wheelchair user and speak to the carer. And the only suitable response is “we’re sorry the displays aren’t accessible but we’ll assist you as much as we can”.

So yes, a complaint is warranted. But be prepared for them to avoid putting an apology in writing because they’ll be worried you’re going to kick up a fuss.