To get DC an ADHD assessment

[Yellow1028]

If anyone knows anything about ADHD and could offer their opinion, I’d be really grateful. A friend of mine who has ADHD looked after my 8 year old DC this week, and mentioned to me that he is exactly how my friend was at that age (in terms of ADHD symptoms).

DC has always been very high energy and extremely talkative and excitable, bounces off the walls constantly, I just put this down to his personality, but it doesn’t seem to be settling down as he gets older.

One issue is that it is really difficult to get anything done around him, or take him out socially, as he CONSTANTLY interrupts and does not stop talking. It does not matter how many times I correct his behaviour, he just doesn’t seem to have the restraint/impulse control to not interrupt everyone repeatedly. This isn’t just noticeable to me, family/friends have noticed too, he does it no matter who he is with. I know it probably doesn’t sound like a big deal but he does it again and again and again and it’s very wearing. He just does not stop talking, from when he wakes up until he goes to bed. Even if we are having some kind of quiet activity like watching a movie - he will interrupt/start talking several times per minute, and having a conversation with him and explaining it is ‘quiet time’ does little to change his behaviour.

I’m not a permissive parent - but he just really doesn’t seem to be able to listen, no matter what approach I take. If I tell him off about it or talk to him about it calmly when we have left the situation, he often gets really worked up and upset about it.

He also seems to find it incredibly hard to do relatively straightforward things, like getting ready for school in the morning. I have to repeatedly direct him what to do, he gets distracted - I often need to remind him to brush his teeth several times, he walks towards the bathroom to do it, but somehow gets distracted on the way and ends up in his bedroom doing something completely different. Now imagine that happening with every single stage of getting ready, including losing items on a daily basis then getting really upset about it - school planners, random items of clothing, always something which he has misplaced and we have to rush around hunting for it. It’s really hard to get out of the door on time, because he just cannot seem to follow the basic parts of getting ready in the morning. Again, he doesn’t seem to do it on purpose because if I tell him off or even just try and speak to him about it; he gets really worked up and upset.

I know a lot of this might sound like average 8 year old behaviour, but it’s the relentlessness of it, combined with the emotional outbursts, which is making me wonder if I should look more into it.

However, I’m feeling quite uncertain - I obviously want to do what is best for DC and make sure he is supported - i suppose I’m sceptical now because of hearing on the news about dodgy private ADHD clinics handing out diagnosis’s left right and centre. It seems a bit like ADHD is ‘trendy’ at the moment - it seems like half the people I went to school with have sought a diagnosis in adulthood, which seems quite strange to me because it’s such a high percentage.

Any advice welcome please!

Bump

If you go on NHS waiting list it will be minimum 2 years in most area. Psychiatry-UK is reputable. Lots off NHS who specialise in ADHD doing private work. Its pricey but fixed fees that you can see upfront

Yeah I mean I wouldn't want to diagnose your dc over the Internet, but your description could have been my ds at the same age, who is diagnosed. My other dc would not match that description. How is he getting on at school?

Sounds like all 3 of my DC 😅however, they could all have adhd so who knows. Have you spoken to school? It will be difficult to get on the nhs list without their input (but not impossible).

It could be ADHD, which is increasing rapidly in terms of common diagnosis, along with depression and anxiety. It also could be your child being a child. My eldest was exactly the same at that age and is now simply a confident and sociable adult. Ironically, my child that is quite the opposite in terms of chattiness generally (not to strangers - he'd talk my head off 24 hours a day if he could though) is now on the pathway for an EHCP with ADHD and autism suspected. Either way, a diagnosis does not define your child. I know it can be frustrating and oh so tiring, but perhaps give them another year or two to mature if concerns haven't been raised elsewhere.

I have adhd. I hate it when people say it's 'trendy' or question why so many of us are being diagnosed as adults. Yes I'm probably being sensitive about it but it's hard to read sometimes when I know how many years I've felt like I was different and couldn't cope the same as my peers, how long I've masked for and beaten myself up psychologically for having anxiety etc
Anyway, my daughter is 8 and very much like me. I was planning to leave it and see how she gets on but school have now raised some concerns about her being distracted and unable to stop talking, out of her chair a lot etc
We have had meetings with the school SENCO and they have referred her for an assessment. I'm fully aware she will be waiting a long time but I'm hoping we will know either way before she goes to high school so they can put things in place to support her. In the meantime, school are already putting support in place like wobble cushion etc
I'd suggest talking to school and just raise your concerns.
Lots of children are busy and talkative at 8 years old but there is definitely a difference for my daughter and we also have issues at home with her sleep and emotional outbursts. It's definitely not all about being hyperactive.

This sounds exactly like my youngest DS. We've been referred for an ADHD diagnosis. There are also issues with sleep as he still wakes in the night, every night, he's 11. I know exactly what you mean about how wearing it is!
I started the process by talking to school, only to find they already has things for him to use, like the wobble cushion, a fidget toy, and he's allowed to walk around the classroom when he likes as long as he doesn't disturb the other children.
We weren't aware of any of these things! You may find school are already waiting for you to approach them...

Thanks for all the replies - just reading through them all now!

sorry @BobbyBleu if my post was worded unkindly re adult diagnosis - I don’t doubt that loads of those diagnosed in adulthood do have genuine adhd and I don’t question the validity of adhd overall as a diagnosis - it’s just the stuff which was on the news about dodgy adhd clinics diagnosing people without a proper assessment which has made me a little sceptical/worried.

And the % of old school friends who have been diagnosed in adulthood, I stay in touch with a lot over social media and it really is about half of them who now post about having adhd. Maybe I did just go to school with a group of people with a much higher adhd percentage than the general population, but it just made me feel a bit uncertain about it all, in combination with being worried about DC and how to handle things so that tone has probably carried over to my post. Thank you for the advice!

Thanks, this is interesting - I’d be happy paying privately, but would that still need to go through the GP/ school initially?

Also another thing I missed from my original post - DC cannot seem to sit still when doing any sort of activity which requires focus, like reading. He is just CONSTANTLY moving, wriggling, playing with his hands, flipping around, jiggling his legs around. And again, it does not matter how many times I ask him to sit still, he just starts doing it again within seconds and then gets very very upset if I try and have a firm boundary with it.

The only time he has any focus or the constant talking/ bouncing around lessens is when he is on his tablet or Nintendo switch.

Thanks for your reply, that’s really interesting to hear. He’s similar at school behaviour wise - shouts out and interrupts a lot, very talkative - but he is quite scared about getting told off or getting in trouble so I feel like he has more restraint at school than at home/out and about.

Academically he is doing well but I think that is because he is fairly bright (in accelerated reading etc) so I feel like because he absorbs information well, it is offsetting the behavioural/focus issues he has. I’m going to speak to his teacher after half term about my worries and see what she thinks.

I got DS1 an ADHD diagnosis through Psychiatry UK when he was 8 (now 11). The first time he took his meds he ran out of school and said to me, ‘I could concentrate today!’. It’s been life-changing for him.

He doesn’t take meds at weekends or during holidays, it’s purely a school thing. His behaviour has calmed down a lot (the meds have allowed him to get good routines going), although he still struggles with executive function.

Lots of classic symptoms there yes. I have one DC with ADHD. I prob am too but never diagnosed. Is anyone else in family as definite genetic influence.
But I do find it hard when in a group of adults 50% claim it. It's crippling for many. It's not just a lack of concentration

Get the assessment done. The earlier child is diagnosed the better because that leads to extra support and adaptations in school and more understanding for you and them earlier on.

If they need medication that can be started sooner.

A child can do really well despite having ADHD but lots don't especially as their learning becomes more complex and school gets more rigid. Think of all those kids who seem to function ok in primary and then it all goes wrong in high school.

Get the knowledge and support in early on and before they're struggling, falling behind, engaging in risky behaviour and in burn out.

No, you can self refer as far as I know

As a teacher who has filled in many many ADHD referral forms, from what you've said there would be quite a few things that could be ADHD symptoms.

Our local NHS trusts have recently given more guidance on when to refer as they're getting so many and if these don't apply then they say a diagnosis wouldn't be given so referrals would. E rejected. These are that the 'problems' need to have existed for at least 6 months but also that the behaviours must be evident at school. They say that ADHD can't be masked in school the same way as autism can so difficulties must be present to get a diagnosis. Not my opinion btw but what Alder Hey say!

I have 2 DC with ADHD and you're describing a lot of what our 'norm' is.
You become quite unaware over time of how many adjustments and adaptations you are making as they just become the routine.
The constant prompting is key, in my experience.

My youngest has also been identified as Autistic. When I first heard this I could not make this fit to the child I know. Their early years for example were full of social engagement, emotional awareness, amazing relationships skills. I now know that autism is not always typical in its presentation and it has been important for DC to have access to the pathways of support they need (medicine, EHCP, Senco).

Have a chat with his teacher about the extent to which he shows difficulty in school. My DC is not dissimilar and didn’t hit the threshold for a private diagnosis as he wasn’t showing the behaviour sufficiently in school. The behaviour must be present in more than one setting.

Also, if you think medication is a route you might want to pursue, I’d start an NHS assessment in tandem as some areas are no longer accepting shared care agreements from private diagnosis and psychiatrists and make people start from scratch.

I agree with talking to school but be aware rate ADHD kids can often be ok in primary as they are more active in the classroom, learning is interactive, they play out, have one room, one set mates etc High school is where suddenly they unravel as the executive dysfunction creates havoc, not sitting still isn't tolerated & other kids think they are annoying