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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP wants to keep me in a cage! *light hearted*

49 replies

Minimili · 29/05/2024 19:32

It’s my 40th birthday next month and to make it special DP booked for us to go on holiday for a week.

We needed a new suitcase so I ordered one online, it was delivered today and the delivery driver left the large box in the porch. I forgot to tell DP I was ordering one so he won’t have been expecting any large parcels

I haven’t been well so I was in bed when the delivery came and DP was at work all day, I was asleep when he came home but woke up to him exclaiming in surprise at the size of the box as he brought it into the house.

I got up and went to see what he was doing and noticed he was standing looking at the box with a dreamy expression on his face.
I asked what he was expecting to be inside the parcel? and said by the look on his face he was going to be disappointed because he obviously was expecting something spectacular with the way he was gazing at it in wonder!

He said “a cage”

I said “a cage?! Why? do you want a pet?”

”he shook his head slowly and said “not for a pet… for you”

I asked “are you seriously standing there smiling because you are picturing keeping me locked in a cage?!”
He nodded looking thoughtful and said “not all the time, I will let you out for exercise sometimes if you are being well behaved”

He was very disappointed when he discovered it was just a suitcase, but as he carried on studying the box suddenly his face lit up again, he said “ok no problem I’ve worked out an alternative, I’ll pop some air holes in that box and I can keep you in that, you would also fit in that suitcase nicely”

He was looking me up and down like he was mentally measuring me then did the same to the box, he then nodded as if he was satisfied with his findings.

Luckily as I’m not well he decided I am allowed to remain uncaged for now and he doesn’t want to keep me in captivity tonight, he has kindly returned me to bed and tucked me in with painkillers and cheese on toast so I will make the most of my freedom… for now.

The box is rather big to put in the recycling in our kitchen so I requested he take it to the main box outside, he didn’t answer and walked out of the room, I’m sure I heard him mutter “I bet they sell cages on amazon” as he was leaving the room.

AIBU to worry that DP is actually planning on keeping me as his pet and locking me in a cage?!”

Just to add a disclaimer, DP is a very kind loving partner and despite him craving peace and quiet every now and then I have good reason to believe (to hope) he was actually joking. As I do most of the cooking in our house it’s unlikely he’ll be keeping me in captivity full time

OP posts:
Comedycook · 29/05/2024 19:33

Weird

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 29/05/2024 19:35

WTF is this post?

gamerchick · 29/05/2024 19:36

Mint sense of humour. Feeding cheese on toast on top is my kind of dude Grin

stressedespresso · 29/05/2024 19:36

Nobody cares.

purpleme12 · 29/05/2024 19:41

Ok

Nutsabouttopic · 29/05/2024 19:42

🤣 DH and my sense of humour, love it.
The question is did he put any type of sauce on the cheese on toast....

fieldsofbutterflies · 29/05/2024 19:42

Nobody needs to know about his fetishes.

gamerchick · 29/05/2024 19:43

Some people really need to get laid like. Puts a spring in your step.

BrianWankum · 29/05/2024 19:44

That's very funny - maybe there's a little fantasy to be explored there ... 😀

And yes, sauce on the cheese on toast?

Hagbard · 29/05/2024 19:47

Some people have a fetish for fitting into tiny spaces, I didn't know this version existed. Maybe he's easing it into the conversation, in a lighthearted way.

INeedAnotherName · 29/05/2024 19:50

Sorry OP, I understand you meant this to be light hearted but considering how women are killed and hidden/moved in suitcases (or wheelie bins) it kinda sent a shiver down my spine.

LiterallyOnFire · 29/05/2024 19:55

Wowser.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 29/05/2024 19:55

What a weird thread

MonsteraMama · 29/05/2024 19:58

Oh my god, leave it to Mumsnet to take a nice light-hearted story and immediately have suggestions of hidden fetishes, murderers and people baffled by the idea of a husband and wife having a laugh together. This place is wild.

TuesdayWhistler · 29/05/2024 19:58

I don't think I'd mind being kept.in a cage, if there was a little tunnel to a yard outside.
I'd swing on a tyre and hurl shit at passers by...
Play with a hose and a football.

Not worry about hoovering or giving the dog a wormer or flea pill. No polishing the china. .just lazy days... Hurling shit.. picking me arse..

Heaven

Oooooh · 29/05/2024 20:00

ArchaeoSpy · 29/05/2024 19:54

in certain scenes are various cage types for different activities https://enfettered.com/product/enfettered-et-line/ as an example

Wow! £1380 and they don't even include the handcuffs.

LondonFox · 29/05/2024 20:02

MonsteraMama · 29/05/2024 19:58

Oh my god, leave it to Mumsnet to take a nice light-hearted story and immediately have suggestions of hidden fetishes, murderers and people baffled by the idea of a husband and wife having a laugh together. This place is wild.

What iz wrong with fetishes?

If two adults agree to play pet/slave in a cage it is perfectly normal sexual fantasy and not really on odd or dangerous side.

NonPlayerCharacter · 29/05/2024 20:03

Lighthearted stories should be told in a funny way.

MonsteraMama · 29/05/2024 20:03

LondonFox · 29/05/2024 20:02

What iz wrong with fetishes?

If two adults agree to play pet/slave in a cage it is perfectly normal sexual fantasy and not really on odd or dangerous side.

I literally didn't say there's anything wrong with fetishes?

Ihopeithinkiknow · 29/05/2024 20:04

INeedAnotherName · 29/05/2024 19:50

Sorry OP, I understand you meant this to be light hearted but considering how women are killed and hidden/moved in suitcases (or wheelie bins) it kinda sent a shiver down my spine.

Well that fucking escalated quickly 😂 and no I'm not laughing at women being murdered and transported in boxes/cases before you jump to that I'm laughing at some of the replies because honestly I'm not even halfway down the page yet and fuck me lol

AbsolutelyFemale · 29/05/2024 20:07

Be very careful OP.....

Remember the film, Boxing Helena

https://g.co/kgs/kxfYhX8

Boxing Helena - Google Search

https://g.co/kgs/kxfYhX8

thistimelastweek · 29/05/2024 20:09

NonPlayerCharacter · 29/05/2024 20:03

Lighthearted stories should be told in a funny way.

Indeed.
Guess you had to be there

ArchaeoSpy · 29/05/2024 20:10

Oooooh · 29/05/2024 20:00

Wow! £1380 and they don't even include the handcuffs.

the prices of the different equipment is certainly omg at times

SapphireOpal · 29/05/2024 20:15

This is the sort of joke I'd have with my DH but I wouldn't start a Mumsnet thread about it. It's a bit try hard - "oh look at me and my husband's terribly wacky sense of humour" - isn't it?

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