To wonder why it's wrong to want a relationship

[Kenny876]

I am single, but fancy a small number of men. If they were to show interest, I'd be open to it.
I feel like a relationship is the only thing in life that if we want, we're told not to want it. We're told to not look for it and that it'll happen when we don't expect it, except it doesn't always.

Apparently it's more attractive to not want one.
I am happy single, I am not dying to have someone, but I'm open to it. Does that make me unattractive?

Not to the right person, I'd say. I've never subscribed to the idea of being hard to get or playing it cool.

I was lucky to encounter someone who had the exact same desire to be loved and to couple up. I hope you find someone who matches your energy.

I’d stop thinking about how other people may want you to feel.

It's not necessarily me but I see it on here and IRL constantly.
As a woman I no longer have the courage to approach a man I like /make it clear I like him because I've seen it on here referred to as 'desperate'.

Apparently you are supposed to absolutely love being single not want a relationship at all but only let men approach you.
If someone wanted a new job, they'd be told to look for one.

Who says not to want it? I’m single and feel the opposite, I feel like I am constantly being told I should be looking for a partner, should be making an effort to go on dates etc and that if I’m not looking for it there’s something wrong with me. If it was unattractive to want a partner then the multitude of online dating apps wouldn’t be a thing because there’s no way to join a dating app without admitting you want a relationship!

You need to make up your own mind.

What people mean really is some are so desperate they throw caution to the wind and want a relationship at any cost even if it’s bloody obvious that person is really bad for you. So I think when they say you shouldn’t look it’s a polite way of saying don’t be desperate.

I understand what you mean and maybe I am reading into it.

I certainly wouldn't date just anyone and have turned down people who I was not attracted to or not compatible with.

However I'm just getting fed up with hearing how men should be approaching only.

As @Didimum said, I’d stop concentrating on what other people think you are supposed to feel, and focus on what you, as an individual, actually want.

If you only focus on men who are attracted by you seeming ‘unavailable’ then you’re going to land yourself an awful lot of arseholes. Being upfront with what you want, expect and communicating honestly has a handy knack of weeding out the wrong people.

Thank you. I like someone at work, he's a friend of a friend, I've never even spoken to him.
I mean I find him attractive, I saw him look at me a couple of times but I figured that's because he knew I was friends with the other man.

Another man I know plays football with him but I have zero idea what to do without looking 'desperate'.