Thinking this is a pretty normal amount of time to spend together?

[Thipany]

So this is about my sister but it's created into a whole family debate (yes I know it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and if it works for them that's the important thing! But this is more about settling a debate!).

My sister is 23, a few months ago she met a guy, he's 30, they started dating. For the first 6/8 weeks they were doing two dates a week.
Saturday night and a weeknight, sometimes they'd spend the Sunday until early afternoon together too.
Now they seem to have a routine. Date night (well planned, meal or activity) on a Saturday night, Sunday together, museums/brunch/tennis/movie sort of thing. Maybe spend the night together maybe not. Don't see each other at all on the Monday. Tuesday they go to hers, one of them cooks and spend the night. Then nothing on Wednesday (sister has a workout class in the evening), Thursday (both go for drinks with work friends, though apparently he might come over just to spend the night occasionally), Friday they spend with their friends or alone. Saturday day time they do there own thing then back to date night.

Today I met up with some family for lunch. Sister was telling us that she's happy and they have settled into a routine and until/if they decide to move in together it will probably stay the same. If one of them gets Saturday plans they might swap around for Friday etc. but roughly anyway.
It caused a real split with some people saying that's too much, others saying they can't imagine doing that for months/years and would want more.

So AIBU to think that sounds fairly balanced and normal?

I cannot believe it has even been a topic of conversation in a family what other people chose to do in their relationships. Odd odd thing to divide people over. Nobody elses business.

It's all relatively light hearted it's not that deep!! Just interesting to see what others think is too much/not enough.

If it suits them then it's neither too little nor too much.

How long have they been together in total? The whole routine thing sounds stifling to me, tbh — not the amount of time they spend together, but just living this very routine-bound life so young. When I was 23 I was living in a commune in the US, and then moved to Paris because I felt like it. Her life sounds very staid, and her cast-iron boyfriend routine sounds like a symptom.

Around 4/5 months.

My sister is absolutely routine driven. I remember when she was doing her GCSEs/A-levels and I was at uni, she was so strict about her routine. I think she takes it from my dad as he is the same. She's definitely not a go with the flow type of person she likes deadlines/plans/routines even if it isn't super concrete.
They both work in busy jobs and her last relationship broke down as they seemed unable to make time for each other so I wonder if it's a symptom of that matched with her personality.
She is the same with me though. However you can still get her to be spontaneous (like I can message on a Saturday morning and if she is free she will be happy to go for lunch etc.).
It's definitely her personality though so doesn't surprise me one bit!

This sounds a hell of a lot like my relationship. I met my partner last January. We generally spend Wednesday evening/night together and then he comes back on Friday evening until Saturday morning. We both tend to go off and do our own thing and then he comes back in the evening. Sometimes he leaves on Sunday morning, sometimes we spend the day together depending on what we have planned.

We both like our own space so it works for us. I wouldn’t like someone being there all the time.

It isn’t always the same days depending on what’s going on but those are our general evenings together.

Plus it is nice to have the bed to myself so I can be a starfish 😁

My now DH and I did something very similar for the first 2/3 years of our relationship.
For the most part it was a jumping off point rather than law. Usually at the start of the month we'd sit down and coordinate our calendars. Sometimes our normal days would swap if there was a wedding/event that conflicted.
Then it would be the normal plans > spontaneous.
So for example we spent Wednesday night together. If on Wednesday I decided actually I want to meet this friend for drinks, I'd run it past my partner, if he was ok with it all good, we'd reschedule for the Thursday. If he couldn't free up the Thursday but did want to spend time together then it would be either he comes with me for drinks or I don't go. Exceptions were always made for say a friend that was only in town that day, work running over etc.
It basically just meant that our relationship had first dibs on Wednesday night, Saturday night and Sunday during the day. It guaranteed time together, while also giving us freedom to do what we liked without feeling like we had to check in with the other person first.
Often though we'd see each other more, such as if we both went for drinks with friends after work one night we would probably meet up after and have one or two together. Or if there was an event on the Saturday we wanted to go to or if we just woke up and decided we wanted to spend the day together.
Obviously on top of that there was holidays and weekends away.
It was just the base and we built on it.
I actually have ADHD so does my partner and I think we both find comfort in the routine and blocking out time. We developed the love for routine as teens though not for the relationship and I think that matters.

Sounds perfect to me!