Kids drawing on walls- when does it stop?

[NotPicasso]

Basically what the title says, does it ever stop? DS is 8, and randomly draws on my walls, still! It’s probably every month or two, he writes his name, or just squiggles, or lines. This time he’s written his brothers name on his bed to try and pretend it was his brother that did it, not him. He’s ASD, but I don’t think it has anything to do with that? He always lies at the beginning, and then confesses within a few minutes. He knows it’s wrong, he gets in serious trouble every time. We live in a rented house with cream walls so it’s a nightmare. Is it normal for an 8 year old to draw on walls? Is it something to do with his autism? Is he just being a pain in the arse and I need to think of a way to somehow punish him more?

I'd say it definitely linked to the ND if he's seeking our things to do it with. Mine didn't really do it but we did have an area in our playroom where I let them draw, put stickers etc.

Once though, DS2, who has ASD traits found a tool of DH's and gouged a pattern into his bedroom wall when he was struggling to get to sleep. He was at least 8 and definitely old enough to know better. I was so upset at the time that he would be so destructive and not care about the damage. Looking back it was so obviously a sensory behaviour. He is 17 now, not destructive at all, and working hard on his A levels.

I think trying to find acceptable ways for him to channel this like a whiteboard or his own area would be much better than punishing him.

All 5 of mine drew/scribbled on the wall but only when they were toddlers really. It sounds like your son has got a bit of a fixation with it (common with ASD) and possibly poor impulse control (ADHD?) It's hard to tackle and increasingly punitive measures probably won't help. I'd probably try being calm and matter of fact - 'Oh dear, you've made a mess here, you'll have to clean that up now' and hope that the behaviour fades with time.

It stops when you first catch them and say "no, here's some paper. We draw on this but mustn't draw on walls". That and just keep an eye on your children!

Mine never did but I kept all drawing implements in the kitchen until they could be trusted to use them sensibly.

Never did. 1 son NT the other ND.

I would have gone spare.

All mine did it. The youngest is the most prolific. I reason with him and it has improved, so he's gone from the preferred doors to bedside cabinets and no longer touches the walls. I haven't removed the pens in the house so really it's my fault. One has a massive chalk board and really I should do the same for our young artist. I have paper piled up for them to use whenever they want and keep repeating that it's there. We draw on the paper and repeat. I was the same as a child. Scribbling under rugs, driving my parents mad.

oh I really don't know .my kids are so much older in twenties . thirties So they were always given access to writing stuff but we did have the odd mistake .The odd bit from make up bag on kitchen work cupboard . A match-board man on back of sofa .But they did have access to writing board in room , or chalk boards in bed room . Only specific access to colouring pens .They didn't have access to writing materiel all the time .
You will have some slip -ups but most people will .

Mine never tried 1ND, 1 NT - it wouldn’t have been acceptable in our house and they seemed to inherently know that . Have you tried bribery - so much money in a pot each day you find clean walls and double the amount put in daily taken out for each infringement with the aim of getting a specific wanted item ?

My eldest did this a few times as an older preschooler. She also has ASD and ADHD, although it wasn't diagnosed at the time, and definitely battles impulsivity generally.
The first time she was told off and it was explained why it wasn't acceptable. She was made to 'help' clean it.
The second time she did it, she had the same telling off and explanation as before, helped clean it, and had a short time out.
The third time caused extensive damage as she had travelled around the house scoring biro marks as she went into walls, woodwork and furniture. I went ballistic, she sat in time out until I had cleaned as much of it as was possible (hairspray is your friend for biro), and all pens and pencils were removed for some time afterwards. Not the most modern parenting technique, but I was furious and it was well beyond the previous absent-minded doodles. Ultimately, 'shock and awe' worked and we never had the problem again.

Two clear trains of thought on this thread horrified and make you feel like a bad parent and those supportive people trying to help a parent manage her child with asd

Couldn't agree more. It was only obvious with hindsight that my DC had some ND traits. I did sometimes lose my temper and there were consequences for unacceptable behaviour but I'm glad I didn't 'go ballistic' or any of the other suggestions on here now I know what was behind it

Mine tried it once and I simply removed the pens. They only had them back when they understood we don't draw on walls only paper.

My eldest (asd/adhd) never did (but did apparently draw on desk at school - with another child )
Youngest also likely both did at least twice around 4yo. She had more unsupervised access to pens and parents distracted by dc1.

I would add it to the list of adhd signs.
But some asd kids do have impulse control issues or adhere too strictly to ru!es.

This!

Kids are 8 and 4. Have absolutely never had this, not once.

Are they autistic/have adhd?

It stops when you put your foot down

My daughter age 9 has never done this or shown even the slightest compulsion to do so

Give an appropriate outlet for the behaviour.

For a NT child thats paper at the table.

For a ND child that might mean chalkboard walls in some places, if the behaviour is specific to a location in some way, or lining paper masking taped to the wall there.

Simply preventing the behaviour by removing the tools for it might work in a fairly compliant NT child. For a ND child its likely to make matters dramatically worse.

My daughter is 7 and has adhd and is also waiting to be assessed for autism. Her wall drawing ending last year thankfully, but up until that point my house was a mess and she would draw everywhere. I tried to hide pens etc but living in a household of 7 there was always something she could get her hands on (her sisters makeup being one) and it was a nightmare. No amount of punishment stopped her it was almost impulsive and she couldn't help herself, she would deny it too but I'd find her name written everywhere. I couldn't understand it because her older siblings had never done it and when she was diagnosed it just made sense and was almost a relief. Hopefully your son grows out of it soon op it's so frustrating and must be a nightmare when living in rented accommodation.

It’s an impulse control issue. I did various consequences including making them clear it up and scrub the walls- but I’m not sure it made any difference really. My autistic child did grow out of it eventually. But it is annoying! You have my sympathy.

I did this as a child (maybe aged 7 or 8). My dad gave me a hiding. I never did it again

Never had this, but a colleague who son does (ASD diagnosis) painted two walls black board and the other has lining paper applied frequently.

I try to do natural consequences so usually it’s removal of drawing equipment, not being able to do an activity because we have to clean or repaint the walls, I always make him spend some time scrubbing to try and get it off to begin with

These are toddler consequences that an 8 year old won't give a shit about

Impose some proper consequences he actually cares about and it will stop.