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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad about where I live?

13 replies

namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 17:20

More of a am I being ungrateful?
Me and partner own our home. We live on a typical council estate, drugs, antisocial behaviour, litter ect. There are also some absolutely lovely people and neighbours who take a lot of pride in their homes and area. It's the minority who bring it down.
I feel so deflated that we live here and wish we could afford to live somewhere 'better' and less 'rough'
We have 2 DC and I feel immense guilt that they'll be brought up here and like I'm a failure for not providing a nicer environment and not being able to afford to live in a nicer area.
Everything about our home is okay, large garden, enough space to play etc, close to parks, walks, green spaces
my only issue is the antisocial behaviour, and overall people who bring the area down. Am I being completely ungrateful/unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 28/05/2024 17:49

I think that when you spend money and time making your house, garden and environment looking as good as you can, it’s very dispiriting to have others take less care of their part.

We had wooden benches in a pleasant green space, which have had to be replaced by a different material, because the wooden ones were wrenched from their supports and broken.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the area you live in to be cared for by the people who live there.

Chocolateorange22 · 28/05/2024 18:19

To be fair wherever you live you'll find these issues

The countryside for example can seem a safe haven to bring kids in but can suffer with antisocial behaviour from bored young adults and break ins from people outside of the area.

K0OLA1D · 28/05/2024 18:25

I used to live in a HA home and the vast majority of people really looked after and took pride in their homes, there was a real sense of community. The odd few were a pain in the arse but nothing terrible.

I have moved now, but still speak to our old neighbours. Our old road has had 200+ houses built in front and around it. None of them were HA as our old street classed as the HA element to the estate. They said they have had no end of break ins, anti social behaviour, fires, police. Such a shame that some people just don't know how to behave.

Petrine · 28/05/2024 18:27

I think you’re absolutely right to feel saddened by the situation. Looking on the positive side though… you own your home so in time you’ll be able to sell and move away. I hope things work out for you.

converseandjeans · 28/05/2024 18:56

Could you sell & get smaller place in a nicer area? What about schools?

Original poster
namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 20:37

converseandjeans · 28/05/2024 18:56

Could you sell & get smaller place in a nicer area? What about schools?

We've only lived here for 2 years so don't have much equity built up. We're thinking of looking at moving in 5 years when our fixed rate comes to an end but with house prices and interest rates im not sure what we'd be able to realistically afford

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 20:38

Petrine · 28/05/2024 18:27

I think you’re absolutely right to feel saddened by the situation. Looking on the positive side though… you own your home so in time you’ll be able to sell and move away. I hope things work out for you.

Thank you! Yes I know how fortunate we are to own our home, and the goal is to eventually move. It's just the guilt at not being able to do that sooner really. I wouldn't feel this way if it was just me and my partner but I just want to provide the best for my DC

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 20:41

K0OLA1D · 28/05/2024 18:25

I used to live in a HA home and the vast majority of people really looked after and took pride in their homes, there was a real sense of community. The odd few were a pain in the arse but nothing terrible.

I have moved now, but still speak to our old neighbours. Our old road has had 200+ houses built in front and around it. None of them were HA as our old street classed as the HA element to the estate. They said they have had no end of break ins, anti social behaviour, fires, police. Such a shame that some people just don't know how to behave.

Our neighbours are absolutely lovely and have lived here for 20+ years and know everyone/has other neighbours over so there's that sense of community here too. It's mainly kids/teens that ruin it and are the main culprits for the antisocial behaviour

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 20:42

Chocolateorange22 · 28/05/2024 18:19

To be fair wherever you live you'll find these issues

The countryside for example can seem a safe haven to bring kids in but can suffer with antisocial behaviour from bored young adults and break ins from people outside of the area.

Yeah this is true, I do try to keep reminding myself that there will always be people who cause trouble. I just wish there was more that could be done as I'm sure 90% of the people who live on our estate would like to see a change

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangedhskc · 28/05/2024 20:43

Bluevelvetsofa · 28/05/2024 17:49

I think that when you spend money and time making your house, garden and environment looking as good as you can, it’s very dispiriting to have others take less care of their part.

We had wooden benches in a pleasant green space, which have had to be replaced by a different material, because the wooden ones were wrenched from their supports and broken.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the area you live in to be cared for by the people who live there.

It's awful when community spaces are ruined, we have a large park just across the road and the benches have had to be changed a few times due to damage

OP posts:
TheTartfulLodger · 28/05/2024 20:46

Any area you live will have its issues unless you are on a gated estate, even that is no guarantee. They say be the change you want to see, is there any way you can get involved in improving quality of life on the estate and working against antisocial behaviour?

Doihavetogotoworkdotcom1 · 28/05/2024 21:00

I think that you are very fortunate to have lovely neighbours. We live on a nice road but have dreadful neighbours.

PiperLeo · 28/05/2024 21:02

I feel the same about where I live and we can't get out. Except we don't have any nice neighbours and we're in a little town with nothing in it. Fingers crossed that you are able to move soon.

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