Have any of you had an intense online friendship? How likely is it that we’ll meet?

[PlatinumBlondeXo]

Strange question but I’ve met this girl online. Known her for over 2 years. Both of us have online social media presence. We’ve followed each other online social media accounts for that length of time. In recent months particularly this past month we’ve really bonded and have got so close. We’ve been through similar things in life and have similar interests. She lives in a different country but we’ve talked about meeting each other in person someday (hopefully someday soon) which we’d both like. We’ve shared so much about our lives with each other. She’s one of the loveliest people I know. I look forward to us talking and I feel she’s different to a lot of the friends I’ve met over the years (I have a good few friends in real life but I’ve been hurt by some former friends in the past). I feel she really gets me. I know this may sound silly or like I’m getting on like a teenager but have any of you had a close friendship online with someone from a different country? Did you’d ever meet in person? How did the friendship work out?

Do you notice any red flags in this friendship? I can’t really notice any

Bump

Yeah, got friendly with a woman in Ireland. Chatted for about a year and then we met up for a weekend.

We've probably met 5 or 6 times since.

What do you mean 'red flags'?

I've met lots of my online friends over the years, from all over the place - some I'm still friends with now, some who are more 'grab a drink if they're ever in my country' type friends. I've got a friend I met online through a hobby coming to stay with me from America in August for a week, can't wait :)

It sounds like you're quite anxious about it and making it feel more intense than it needs to be though, maybe? If you get on well and you'd both like to meet, do that. It doesn't need to be more stressful than that! :)

That’s amazing so glad you found a good friend online. I mean by red flags as I hear if the friendship gets intense quickly it could mean ulterior motives of some sort but I don’t think she’s like that

That’s amazing I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time. Funnily enough my friend is from America too whilst I’m in the uk. The reason I come across as anxious is because I view her as a really good friend but I have abandonment issues from my past and I think it would hurt if that would ever happen with us but I don’t think it will

I have a friend who lives on the other side of the world. We got very close online and she came to stay with me recently. The connection we had in real life was crazy. It was like meeting a long lost sister! I miss her terribly now she's home but looking forward to seeing her again. And of course we're back to our online chit-chat!

Met my best friend online. We talk every day and meet up about three times a year

Ahhh I get that, but that would be the risk with any new friendship - let yourself enjoy it while you're getting on well, and if it burns out or steadily settles down and becomes a bit less intense (as lots of friendships do! Totally normal) then try not to let that feel personal. A lot of online friendships can be quite intense at first I think, because you're starting from zero - if you met a friend through acquaintances IRL, you'd have context like where you met or the area you lived or a shared hobby you saw each other at, and chatting in person would naturally get to know each other. Whereas with an online friend you're very often starting not even knowing each other's real names, what you look like, etc - so there's a lot of info to share, and it's really easy to get into the deep stuff about your life over a screen in a way you wouldn't necessarily with a new friend in person. But if that subsides a bit and you become more casual with your chat now that you've got to know each other, don't worry - in my experience that's really normal :)

Five years ago I started chatting to a guy on an online game we were playing. We are getting married in three months! Ten of the guests are other players we've chatted to daily and meet up with a couple of times a year. I've also been to Iceland and Copenhagen to meet up with gamer friends and had great times!

Yes we met online and messaged every single day intensely for a year. Met once and was great. We were like best mates and compared dating stories etc. Anyway, I got sick and she ghosted me the day I was due my cancer diagnosis. Still think I’m in shock. So the friendship isn’t real basically

Sorry - just read about your abandonment issues. Yours could be completely different, it’s just worth knowing some people are different online vs real life I guess

I think it can work out really great!
Sounds like a great friendship.
Just have realistic expectations.
Good luck!

Took us years to meet but now been friends for 20 years, 10 of them in person.

That’s amazing that you were able to make such an amazing friend online. Love this story. I hope me and my friend have the same chemistry as you two have. Awk I’m sure you do miss her x

That’s amazing thanks for letting me know. So glad you met your best friend online

Thanks so much. Yes I see what you mean. It’s different to meeting in person. We know what we both look like as we both have social media platforms. We have similar interests. I’m just gonna relax as I believe if the friendship is meant to be it’ll be. I think when you become friends with someone either online or in real life there’s that fear of losing them. Maybe it’s because it’s happened to me quite a few times in real life it’s hard not to take it personally or to unsee or unknow that. I’m hoping it’ll turn into a long lasting friendship and we meet in person but if not then it wasn’t to be. Yes I’d be upset but would have to accept it lol

Yeah 2 they got very intense and ended badly. I still wonder about them, what happened to them and what they are doing now but you never really know who you are talking to. These were female friends if that makes a difference. “Breaking up” with an online friend can actually be quite painful as you can tend to go to them about everything and anything and it’s odd when the messages stop.

Aww that’s so lovely. I’m glad you met your partner online and yous are getting married. I’m so happy for you x

Oh my goodness that’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you. She wasn’t a real friend for doing that. It’s better you found out then compared to years down the line. I hope you’re feeling better and you have genuine supportive people in your life x

Yes I completely get that people can be different online compared to real life. My abandonment issues stem from a lot of people walking out on me throughout my life and it can be hard to work through that

Yeah I think so too. She’s such a lovely person x

That’s amazing. I’m sure you both were so glad to finally meet in person and how amazing that yous are still friends for all those years x

Yes, I’ve got numerous friends I initially met online (including one friendship of almost 15 years!). Obviously it’s sensible to be a bit cautious until you know they are who they say they are etc but I absolutely wouldn’t rule out someone being completely genuine and things going very well. 😊

I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s awful that must have been so painful to deal with. Yes I go to her about everything now which some people may find strange but it’s like we can tell each other everything and if the friendship ended for some reason I’d be devastated. I’m so sorry it happened to you twice