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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest h should change his 2 seater car

17 replies

KittyT8 · 28/05/2024 13:49

Am I being unreasonable to sugggest to my husband that he should change his 2 seater car for a 5 seater? To give context he bought a 2 seater convertible car second hand a few years ago for his Birthday when our children were younger ( 3 and 5) and I was working part time, and locally so didn't need to drive much. Our kids are now 5 and 8.

We have another small SUV that can fit the children in. However I am starting a new full time job soon 20 minutes drive away. He works at home and occasionally takes the train into London. When I start working full time he will be taking main responsibility for the children's pick up and drop offs and various afterschool clubs which we have to drive to.

I will need to drive his 2 seater to work as he will be doing most of the taxi-ing of kids to clubs. I feel that we would be able to manage the logistics better if we had 2 cars that could fit children in, so that if I wanted to do morning drop off, or pick the children up straight after work this would be more manageable. Or sometimes, esp at weekends, we can mix and match drop offs and pick ups around our own social lives/gym/errands. Whereas at the moment that is not possible.

As it stands, since he has bought it he has rarely driven the 2 seater car, and I actually drove it more often than he did on my days off work. Occasionally he has even had the option to take the 2 seater out himself when he's gone out but has admitted himself that the larger car is more comfortable so opted for the SUV. I feel it doesn't make sense to keep the 2 seater sat in the drive way most the time, when we could buy a 5 seater (still more fun and nippy car than the SUV) that we could use at a weekends with kids in tow, and even fit extra friends in if ine of us is taxi-ing to parties and playdates.

He has refused, without much other reason than he likes it, it was a Bday present to himself and so he wants to keep it. And I am finding it frustrating that he won't find reason in what I am saying. He has even suggested we can buy a third car instead if I really want. But we don't need and cant afford 3 cars.

It is not a particularly special/collectible car. A bog standard lower end 2 seater convertible. So I don't understand his attachment to it when it is barely used. I understand he likes the car, but in the grand scheme of things just doesn't make sense as a family of 4.

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 28/05/2024 14:27

You can’t fight emotion with logic. He’ll have to come round to this in his own time.

KittyT8 · 28/05/2024 18:18

Thanks for the comment! I'm really surprised that almost half votes think iabu. It just seems like a no brainer to me!

I already thought it was an impractical snd frivolous purchase at the time but as the kids are getting older and busier with clubs and friends, it just seems even more illogical to own a 2 seater car now....

OP posts:
Chocolateorange22 · 28/05/2024 18:22

Leave him to it and then when something happens and you are away and he is closer with the wrong car just let him sort it out. He'll soon realise when he has to get a taxi there and back because he doesn't have enough seats....

unsync · 28/05/2024 18:39

Chocolateorange22 · 28/05/2024 18:22

Leave him to it and then when something happens and you are away and he is closer with the wrong car just let him sort it out. He'll soon realise when he has to get a taxi there and back because he doesn't have enough seats....

This. He's obviously hard of thinking. A demonstration or two should help.

Elphame · 28/05/2024 18:50

Other way here - I'm the one that won't give up my lovely 2 seater sports car. DP has the sensible SUV which is the one we have to use for the dogs.

The SUV does get used more often. I took it to the supermarket this morning myself and borrowed it on Saturday to go out for the day. I guess I should get one I can at least get the dogs in but I like my car and I'm not yet ready to give it up. So I won't.

KittyT8 · 28/05/2024 19:55

Elphame · 28/05/2024 18:50

Other way here - I'm the one that won't give up my lovely 2 seater sports car. DP has the sensible SUV which is the one we have to use for the dogs.

The SUV does get used more often. I took it to the supermarket this morning myself and borrowed it on Saturday to go out for the day. I guess I should get one I can at least get the dogs in but I like my car and I'm not yet ready to give it up. So I won't.

This is reasonable as it sounds like you don't have kids and I'm guessing your dogs don't have as many clubs and playdates to juggle lol?!

OP posts:
Elphame · 29/05/2024 17:34

KittyT8 · 28/05/2024 19:55

This is reasonable as it sounds like you don't have kids and I'm guessing your dogs don't have as many clubs and playdates to juggle lol?!

Mine are grown up but you can substitute doctor/hospital visits for my elderly parents for the play dates! My pride and joy is lowered too so whilst they can get in, getting out is a problem! I'm going to have to take his tomorrow for yet another hospital appt.

When I start to struggle to get out then that will be the time to downgrade to something more sensible!!

Mairzydotes · 29/05/2024 17:59

Chocolateorange22 · 28/05/2024 18:22

Leave him to it and then when something happens and you are away and he is closer with the wrong car just let him sort it out. He'll soon realise when he has to get a taxi there and back because he doesn't have enough seats....

My fear would be he'd do something dangerous like sitting them both on the same seat.

HuongVuong3 · 29/05/2024 18:02

Can you definitely not afford 3 cars?

I know it sounds extravagant, but we have 3. One 'sensible' car each and then my DH has an old Landrover Defender which he loves.

It works for us!

Iheartmysmart · 29/05/2024 18:03

I’ve got a ridiculous two seater convertible which I love and also had a selection of utterly impractical cars when DS was little so I get where your husband is coming from. Would he consider a bigger convertible? I had a Peugeot 206cc for a while which was fun and almost practical. Well in my view anyway.

Mairzydotes · 30/05/2024 08:12

Iheartmysmart · 29/05/2024 18:03

I’ve got a ridiculous two seater convertible which I love and also had a selection of utterly impractical cars when DS was little so I get where your husband is coming from. Would he consider a bigger convertible? I had a Peugeot 206cc for a while which was fun and almost practical. Well in my view anyway.

In my daydreams I've considered a sports car or convertible . It depends how old the dc are, as the rear seats aren't always suitable for car seats.

clockdoc · 30/05/2024 08:16

I would be quite happy with that arrangement tbh. You get to drive his wee car to work and he ferried the kids about. I agree that having another car makes more sense, but at the same time I am very protective of 'things' so can see his reluctance to sell, even when it means he will have to do the lions share.

Letsbe · 30/05/2024 08:31

I agree with you. He is not beung very grown up.

TargetPractice11 · 30/05/2024 13:40

I'd be annoyed.

He's a father, time to ditch the toy car.

KittyT8 · 30/05/2024 20:51

Thanks for the replies! It's helped me realise that I'm coming across a little bit like the fun police haha. Thing is I would fully understand where he's coming from if he actually drove it more often! But he rarely does. So it feels like he's being stubborn for the sake of it, and not wanting to admit "he's wrong". When changing it could make all our lives a bit easier and we'd get a lot more use out of it. I understand he bought the car and he can do what he wants with his money, and it's his choice to make. And I could fork out for an extra family car if it means that much to me. But it seems like a waste of money that we don't have.

OP posts:
KittyT8 · 30/05/2024 20:55

Iheartmysmart · 29/05/2024 18:03

I’ve got a ridiculous two seater convertible which I love and also had a selection of utterly impractical cars when DS was little so I get where your husband is coming from. Would he consider a bigger convertible? I had a Peugeot 206cc for a while which was fun and almost practical. Well in my view anyway.

I suggested a bigger 4/5 seater convertible when he first decided to buy it, and recently. But he's not willing to compromise, which frustrates me. Especially as we/he rarely drives with the roof down. Its mostly either too cold or hot.

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 30/05/2024 20:57

I think YANBU at all!

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