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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that i need more/more available friends?

1 reply

Toffifee1 · 28/05/2024 12:30

Maybe people my age (mid thirties) are just really busy and this is completely normal or maybe i‘ve not made and retained enough friendships over the years through moving 4 times, changing jobs 4 times etc..but i feel like with most of my friends i‘m the one who has more time available and would like to meet more often. Same with invites. DH and I tried to organise a summer party/combined house warming/bitrthday in august but only one of my friends is available..
I have only been invited to 1 birthday party this year (40th) so far and 2 friends whose birthday is in june told me they were only celebrating small this year(same last year).

I think i just don‘t have enough (close) friends? What would you consider normal?

I have only 2 friends left from school(20+years).
2 from uni(almost 15 years).
1 from work but we don’t really meet in private often, but she asked me to become her business partner and therefore i assume she considers me a friend, too..
2 other friends that i have met regularly for coffee for the last 3-4 years.
1 friend who is actually the wife of DHs friend but we have more contact(whatsapp) than our husbands now but rarely meet up due to her being busy.

Hoping for
2-3 newer possible future friends that i have only met a few times and would feel awkward inviting to birthday parties right now but hoping to become friends.
A few mum friends-to be in the making hopefully..

YABU - people are busy at this age with weddings/kids stuff/ you‘re just insecure.

YANBU - you‘re just not a priority to those friends/ you need more friends who want to do stuff with you.

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 28/05/2024 12:47

It's not you it's just life. A full time job, small children, a house to clean as a standard for most then add on extra caring responsibilities, illness, disability ect for a lot of people also. I'm exhausted all the time and the last thing I want to do in my spare time is fill it with loads of plans. If you have a lot of spare time and energy and want more friends join some clubs, volunteer, start a new hobby.

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