Does it impact a child just being around adults most of the time?

[Orangedottedsquare]

My 5 year old is a only child.
He doesn’t have any cousins close by (they live 2-3 hours drive away) we don’t tend to have any kids play out on our road either. The only time he sees other kids is at school. He is quite sociable there and has friends. Seems fairly well liked. We very occasionally see a friend outside of school and he goes to swimming lessons on a Saturday morning.
But I do worry about the amount of time he spends with adults. For example it’s the school holidays at the moment and we are staying with my parents, he does lots of activities with us - we always try and take him to National Trust and English Heritage places, playgrounds, children’s events and so on. But the majority of time he spends it with adults (me and DH, both sets of grandparents, my brother and his wife). Apart from at school.

So I guess what I’m worried about is it having an impact on him. Is this something that will have a negative effect?

Ah - this was my childhood! Only child here. Like anything, it has pros and cons. Chances are he will be exposed to more advanced language and concepts and will very much “at ease” in the company of adults he doesn’t know that well. And on the flip side? Yes - he likely will have less exposure to wider relationships with kids his own age and how to negotiate the playground verbal rough and tumble. But - like anything in life - there are pros and cons; swings and roundabouts. Take advantage of the positives as much as you can and try to mitigate the negatives (eg organise play dates for him etc).

I have the exact same situation with my DD, who is also 5.

she’s more grown up than I’d like her to be at 5, having a conversation with her is like chatting to an adult friend. She doesn’t behave like a little girl, she behaves like a mini adult (but then maybe she’d be like this even if she was around children more often). She’s very sociable though and has lots of friends at school, she mixes well and shares so I don’t have any concerns. I try to arrange at least one play date every week.

This is my daughter. I had this worry originally (especially after the lack of socialisation during COVID) but she's 9 now and absolutely fine. She has a wonderful set of friends at school, the teachers have no concerns about her social interactions (we monitor due to ASC) and the knowledge she's picked up from adult interactions, museum visits etc is evident in the school work she produces. I was amazed at a piece of work she produced as part of a homework project as I thought her teacher was just being overly nice when she said how impressed she was 🫣!
I think the knowledge that being primarily with adults may have an effect means you're more aware in negating possible issues iyswim.

This was me. I don't know if it's had a negative impact, as such. I'm an old soul , and I related to middle aged people, rather than younger ones.

Everything impacts children but that doesn't mean it's wrong. This is how it is for your family, he sounds like he's well loved and at the end of the day that's what really matters.

Could you arrange more play dates or see your friends with children at the weekends? This was me too, I’m an only child and didn’t have cousins around but my parents made sure I had lots of play dates and we took my friends swimming and on days out with us so I had children to play with.

As he’s 5 it’s difficult to arrange play dates. Whenever I’ve asked his school friends over
or to meet up, it doesn’t seem to happen.
I guess it’s a mix of working parents, 5 year olds being quite young still (some are 4) and extra curricular activities people are busy with.

He is more ‘adult’ in his speech and mannerisms too. But he can act silly with his school friends too (talking about poo 💩 etc)

His language/convo skills and vocab will probably be very good.

I would try to facilitate free play with other children as much as possible, school is a very controlled environment and doesn't allow children to develop good social skills. Can you go to parks and he play with other kids there? As he gets older there will be more opportunities, 5 is still young.
I think this applies to all kids though, not just only children. Losing the free outdoor unsupervised play that previous generations had will have a detrimental effect in later life

I’ve signed him up to Beavers, but he’s on the waiting list and can’t join until he’s 6 anyway.

We do go to parks, he does run around with other kids. Plus in the playground at school they do lots of ‘free play’ of course. But I’m not sure how else to facilitate this kind of thing.

This sounds like my DS - he’s 13 now, only child, spent a lot of time with adults. He’s pretty comfortable around adults, and in some ways quite grown up and mature for his age. But he’s also just as teenagery as all the other 13 year olds!
We never really did a lot of play dates but he spent quite a bit of time at parks and soft play and does loads of extra- curriculars. As pp says, lots of adults to love and cherish him will stand him in good stead.

Do you not have friends that have children he can ply with? My dd is almost 4 and I find that easier than organising play dates with her nursery friends. We go out with my friends children most weekends so she has someone to play with. She’s not an only child but my DS is only a baby so I try to make sure she has lots of others to play with and go to things with at the weekends.

My DS is an only child but a year older than yours so 6. I've had the same thought process and possible worries as you. Beavers, swimming lessons are good weekly activities with other kids. He's tried (I've tried!) other extra curriculars and he wasn't keen so didn't push. Play dates have only really started taking off in second half of year one but I do prioritise them when they come along. And I try to not structure them and just let the kids play around entertaining themselves which is starting to happen well. I make sure he attends birthday parties he's invited to. He's like your DS, doted on by many adults but no siblings. They are growing up surrounded by love which is surely the main thing by far.

Yes he goes to every birthday party he’s been invited to.

I do have one close friend with a child who is a year younger and we see them fairly regularly. But not every week. A couple of my other friends do have kids but we don’t really see theirs as much.

I used to be in a similar situation, I tried to be friendly with the other mums at school, so we could go out together with kids to park etc, and invited them round too. It was hard for me as I’m quite shy but I made the effort and it had paid off as my son now has lots of friends we can invite for play dates/outings now in y4. From about y2 onwards you find the mums don’t really need to stay so it gets easier! When my dc does have friends over I try not to get involved and let them have completely free play. They seem to make up some great imagination games if I do that.