AIBU to ask neighbours children & teens to keep noise down in the garden?

[NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting]

Our next door neighbour has 4 children/teens, the youngest is 6ish and the eldest is 15.

When they are in the garden, they play football but play against the youngest and wind him up, so he’s constantly screaming, screeching and crying. When the screeching isn’t going on, it’s football chants are full volume and a lot of shouting between them and constant fights.

They will be in the garden until 9pm and can be out early at the weekends and it can keep our DS1 up and make bedtime so difficult, especially when it’s warmer and we need to have the window open a smidge.

AIBU to ask their parents to get them to keep the noise down? Especially as it’s affecting bedtime with our son and making our garden unbearable as there’s not a moment of silence if they are out as they are constantly fighting.

The treatment of the youngest child and his reaction seems to be more than just childhood noise. Ill-treatment of younger siblings can be more than just playful.

Screaming, constant fighting, shrieking, loudly crying isn’t antisocial?

We’ve got the constant whack of the ball; flying into cars etc and some kid booting a neighbour’s fence for something to do

I'm sympathetic OP but honestly I don't think there's a thing you can do about it. Kids are allowed to play outside and often play is noisy and no fun for anyone else.

On the upside the kids will grow up.

I would not complain to the Council, you will then have to declare a neighbour dispute when you come to sell it.
Any way you could put DC in a front bedroom ?

True

Just play white noise in the house, not worth telling them. They know their kids are noisy and they don't care. My neighbours are the same snd their kid has mega tantrums on top not to me tjon they themselves are shouting loud. I just wear headphones in my garden or in my house and windows are.opne have white noise on.

However I did feel.rayher maug when she was complaining how her precious daughter keeps crying and waking up all night and now she is at a loss at what to do ...karma

I have a 15 year old footie mad kid. I try to be mindful of neighbours, I know the ball is noisy so I tell him 20 minutes at a time, then come in for a while. Obviously he's on his own so no shouting or screaming. And no football after 8pm because people are settling down for the evening.

OP go and gave a polite word.

Why not say anything? Everyone can either behave like adults and support one another or ignore the request and no change. Nothing to lose.

I had a similar situation with next door. It became hard to work from home and take afternoon calls past them being home from school, no such thing as a peaceful Friday or Saturday evening, and the daytimes were awful.

After trying to ignore it, I had a word. Took a year or so but the parents are very aware of it now and the children have alll but stopped.

When my children were toddlers/pre-schoolers, I used to feel this way, when my neighbours’ (older) kids were in the garden.

But now some years have passed - I can now see that multiple children playing out is a total different ball game (noise wise) to a toddler digging about the back garden.

I don't think its fair to ask older kids to work around your toddler at 7.30 pm that's quite early for older kids / teens when your child is older they will be wanting to play out to. How will you manage then ?

May sound a bit odd but from Birth I made sure there was noise around my baby/child when they were sleeping. From hoovering to TV , music. Talking , singing ,shouting kids playing running around. I could even hoover in their room. My neighbours can have party's and my children can sleep through it. I know that's not what most people do but it definitely worked for me.

Maybe you could put yoir toddler to bed in a different room ? That way your little one can sleep and the children can still play.

I don't think it's reasonable to ask for quiet from 7.30. Just close the window.

Leave them be. Kids have nowhere to go any more.

Nobody says, when they ask thesecquestions whether they talk to the neighbours or not in the first place.
Are you friendly if do.its alot easier and this maybe a good reason to talk to neighbours.

If your first chat with them is to ask them to keep noise down then it's not going to go down well.

In this case your being unreasonable I wouldn't say anything just for garden noise.

It won't be worth it, you have to live next door, there are worse things than children playing in a garden.
Just accept it. Alot of people are battling worse things than that and would swop with you.

I can't get my head around being in a terrace in London and expecting quiet after 730pm. I know that bedtimes are so important in those early years but as a parent of teens I am grateful that they are outside playing, or playing music, or on the trampoline. Once in a while I will buy the neighbours a bottle of wine or a nice Xmas gift for their patience. The feedback I get is that "it's nice to hear kids outside playing". The screaming and crying will be over soon as kids grow up fast.

Op sorry but you sound v entitled. Asking a neighbour to keep their kids quiet from 7.30! In peak summer (or even now!) that's prime playing time for kids aged 8+.

Seriously, leave them be. There are far worse problems to have. Get some perspective. You're either very naive, young, or lucky.

A number of years ago my neighbour came to my door and asked me to take my children inside as they were playing football in the back garden and his wife was trying to sleep!!! It was 7pm on a summers evening. He got his answer and we never spoke to them again! My children were not shouting or swearing or being anti social, they were playing in their own back garden.

If you choose to live in a house that has neighbours then you need to accept that there might be children and that they are entitled to play in their own back garden.

When I was a child I was regularly told not to make any noise playing out in the garden because the man next door was sleeping. This was during the day!

He was a printer that worked nights. I often wonder why I went along with it especially as he chose to sleep in the small back bedroom nearest our garden instead of the main one at the front where he wouldn't have heard anything.

I think maybe you could ask them to keep it down after your little one's bedtime but I doubt they will manage it even they tried. Some kids don't seem to be able to do anything quietly, especially when footballs are involved.

If it was normal sounds of children playing, then I’d have no problem, but it’s the constant screaming and shouting from the moment they come outside to the moment they go. There’s not a second where they aren’t fighting and youngest is crying/shrieking as he’s losing at football.

This is what I’m asking is unreasonable to ask the neighbours to have a word with them.

‘Criticised if their kids are outside playing in good weather’
criticised if they are outside playing in good weather and disturbing the neighbours