because she is grumbling AGAIN, and I no longer know what to say, or how to sympathise any more. I told her I didn't want to have this conversation with her, and her response was that I don't want to listen to her problems
She has told me she feels neglected, she feels my sister should do things for her, she shouldn't have to do things for herself all the time. Her neighbours only have to say something, and their three sons are running round, fixing this, doing that etc etc and she gets NOTHING.
Now I live 130 miles away, and she accepts that I can't do much for her (except I organised buying her mobility scooter, booked her holiday with her friend, went with her to help buy a new TV, I try to suggest ways to make things easier etc etc).
My sister is reasonably local, but has a full time job, a daghter with lots of emotional and educational problems (adopted, she brought a very difficult background with her), and yes she has hobbies such as the local drama group and a smallholding which take up her time. My mother resents the fact that my sister & BIL put their hobbies above her wants.
My mother has a car, and can get about with her walking stick. She has had a new hip (done about 4 years ago, just after I had mine done), and in January 2007 a knee replacement, but she has never benefitted from these, because she wouldn't do the physiotherapy and work needed to get her fitness back. She does struggle a bit to get about, but that's bedcause she doesn't move around enough (and I know this, I've been thru it myself).
Now she won't go anywhere, or run errands for herself. She asks my sister/BIL to do it, then grumbles to me because they haven't done it, or they didn't make it a top priority
As an example, she wanted a watch bracelet adjusted. My sister has taken it to the jewellers and it's been done, but hasn't been to collect it. My mother could drive to the jewellers, park no more than 20 yards away, and get it. But she won't. I've asked her why not, and she says "why should I? why can't they do something for ME".
But she has all the time in the world to do it.
Aside from this, mother won't go out socially. She has never made friends where she lives (moved down there 20 years ago with my father, who died 8 years ago), and won't do anything to try to meet anyone.
My sister tried a few years ago to get her into WI, but she wouldn't do that. She wanted to try using the internet, so we gave her a laptop, and suggested she go to classes. She won't do it, and gave loads of excuses (didn't know where they were, we found them for her, didn't want to be tied to do things at set times, etc etc)
We have felt for a while that my mother may be depressed, which was why she won't go out and do stuff. So, I had a quiet word with her Dr.
But when the Dr asks her how things are she says everything is fine, now way is she depressed, etc etc.
I ended the conv today, because she told me my sis has invited her up to their house this pm to watch grand national & have drinks with them and visiting friends. My mother had my niece to stay last night, and she says that the only reason they asked her to go up is to save them driving down to fetch my niece.
I don't know what to say, but I don't like my Mum very much ATM.