I feel like my relationship is hanging on by a thread and I can't see either of us backing down..
Background: we've been together over 10 years and have 2 children together with additional needs. For 8 years I stayed at home while he worked long, unpredictable hours at work. I did all of the appointments (100's) and everything I was expected to do as a SAHM. I craved going back to work but didn't have a reliable support network. I have dreams and aspirations that I suppressed. I didn't have the best upbringing or role models.
Recently: 18 months ago my partner was made redundant at work and said I could go back to work if I wanted and he would stay at home. I jumped at the opportunity. I don't think he likes my independence. Apparently he gives me an inch and I take a mile.
I'm starting to feel trapped. I want to move forward and achieve goals and he doesn't want to. We're both on the tenancy and I want to buy the house. I saved the deposit and we would get a good discount but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be tied to thousands of pounds worth of debt. I would like to get engaged and married one day (nothing big) but he says we practically are without the paperwork. I want to travel and explore the world but every holiday we've been on I've booked and organised. In fact 95% of what we've done I've planned.
He is a good dad and I would hate to break up or family but I'm at the point where I feel like we're growing apart and are no longer on the same page. I don't want him to change if he doesn't want the same as me or feel as though I'm backing him in to a corner. Some couples get together and one may never want children and they think the other may eventually change their mind but they don't and they either regret their decision or go their separate ways.
I don't want to be 80 years old and regret not doing these things. I don't want to get another 10 years down the line and be in the same place.
I've tried talking to him and we get nowhere. He makes me feel ungrateful and unrealistic, like I'm expecting too much. He gets angry, I get stressed and upset. He refuses to talk any more about it and I'm left feeling stuck.
I'm considering saving up and getting a mortgage myself but I don't want to leave my children. I don't know what to do for the best.