To think I caused my son’s congenital heart defect in pregnancy

[Yellowsubmarine85]

Sorry for the negative post but really struggling at the moment. My 2 week old son had heart surgery nearly 2 years ago now, he’s doing great and so far so good with check ups.

Since we found out about his heart issues after he was born I’ve always blamed myself but it seems to be getting worse the older he’s getting and the more of his personality that’s emerging. He’s such a strong, happy boy and I feel wracked with guilt that I possibly caused the issue he was born with and that I have inadvertently caused him to have a life-long condition that might hold him back in life or cause him worry.
The reason I blame myself is that I didn’t I know I was pregnant at first so I had two very hot baths. Then I found out I was pregnant and ended up getting covid in the first 8 weeks of pregnancy, I had a temperature and had to keep it down with paracetemol. I just feel like both of these things could have caused my boys CHD. I could have avoided getting covid if I hadn’t agreed to see someone who I knew had a stinking cold. I just didn’t want to let them down, even though I knew I was pregnant 😭
Does anyone know if Covid or hot baths could have caused this?

I don’t know how to feel better about this. Am I just going to feel horrendous guilt forever? It’s giving me stomach issues from all the anxiety. I’ve tried counselling and anti-anxiety stuff it’s not really helping.

Sorry for such a negative message.
Thank you for reading

OP, worrying about hot baths and paracetamol causing a heart defect is like worrying counting to 5 out loud will cause the sky turn green - the two things just have nothing to do with each other. You have been through the wringer as a mum and have your OCD to deal with on top, you have my every sympathy and hopefully whatever treatment you have for your OCD will get you to a place where you can not fantastically blame yourself so much. Sounds like you’re doing great, a great mum

Of course you didnt, for the reasons PP have given above. But surely the doctors would have told you that at the time too??

You 100% did not cause your baby's CHD with either hot baths or with your bout of covid/paracetamol.

1. Your body is incredibly good at regulating your temperature. Without doing so, you would overheat and die. A hot bath did not raise your core temperature to dangerous levels, and heat has no link with CHD.
2. Using paracetamol in pregnancy is common, particularly at early points like 8 weeks. Getting the covid virus in pregnancy is also common. Neither of these have been linked with CHD.

CHD is a fluke event. We don't know what causes it, it's just unfortunate. BUT given this context @Yellowsubmarine85, with your history of OCD I think you need to speak to your health visitor or GP, or maybe your psychologist. Definitely speak to the people who love you, your partner and your friends if you can. Flag that your feelings are a wee bit uncontrollable at the moment and seek support in real life.

I'm glad your little boy is recovering from surgery and hope you're feeling better soon too xx

Totally unreasonable. You cannot wrap yourself in a bubble for 9 months and avoid colds, and plenty of people take baths and showers while pregnant.
Your kid has had his surgery, and is going to do just fine. Be grateful for this, and enjoy your baby rather than play the 'what if' card - it won't help you and will ruin your experience of motherhood even more than it as already been ruined. Trust me, ML will fly by, you will be back at work and you will want this time back!

This is not proven, the studies don't agree and it thought if anything the link might be with fever

@Yellowsubmarine85 omg that is awful to lay that blame on you about your mum. No wonder you feel how you do. Not sure if you have tried it but anti depressants will help block out those ocd thoughts, they won't numb you or anything, I take them too, you only get one life so do whatever you can to feel ok. You ruminate about your son but really it isn't about the heart problem, you're trying to reach that reassurance feeling but it wll soon come back again and if it wasn't the heart problem it would be something else you would ruminate on. Your mind is in a loop and I totally get the deals you make in your mind. So if you haven't took anti-ds then please give them a go