Family member posting photos

[Facebookfiend]

So I have a family member who is a regular user of Facebook. Will post their whole life on there etc. I don’t have FB. This is personal choice, So I don’t post my children on SM, and I’m not fussed about missing out etc.

i recently had twin babies 👶 and said family member asked. ‘Can you send me pics of their faces’ to which I replied yes with some photos. But then also said ‘please don’t post anything on FB of the babies ‘ to which family member replied they never would as this was my wish.

Since then, friends and family members have sent me various screenshots of FB posts of my children on said persons FB, all IMO for ‘likes’ and attention. As I don’t have FB I think they think because I can’t directly see, I don’t know and won’t know they have posted.

AIBU? I feel I’m not, I asked them not to post my children on SM, for reasons I don’t feel I need to go into . I asked them not to put photos on FB, and they have against my wish. maybe I’m sensitive, but I just feel like they need to get a grip?! My children are MY children and if I don’t want them all over the internet, where people I don’t know can see them, then they shouldn’t be!

YABU - they should be allowed to post the children on FB

YANBU - they should honour your wishes and not post photos of the children on FB

Ask them to remove them?

And then don’t send anymore.

Just say can they take it down and leave it at that. I think you are right, and I did the same with my DC. There's nothing good that can come of your picture being online

I’ve sent nothing since the first one. Said person however comes to see me and takes photos (when they think I can’t see) and posts these. There’s more back story, I’m not being vague on purpose but it’s not really relevant. but if I say something, they’ll know who told me (all very pathetic) and I don’t want to cause trouble for the person that told me. I just think why would you be such a b*h and post it in the first place ??

They just don't see it the same way as you, and think you're being silly

Next time they come to visit I'd tell them that no they can't take photos. Posting when you've said not to is completely out of order

Thanks @Redglitter , I’ve toyed with this idea. I have 2 other children and they don’t bother with either of them! They do however make sure they take pics of them that end up on FB! @marie3e i think it’s more calculated, they know what they’re doing but think I don’t know!
I just don’t get the whole posting of photos for attention, especially when other peoples kids ! She’s the type to post ‘I hate my life I wish I was dead’ and then reply with ‘I’ll DM you’ to people that query, or say nothing at all! My DH is furious (he doesn’t have FB either) but I’ve asked him to say nothing and bless him he hasn’t, the person posting is just not worth all the drama. I’m aware of how mad it must sound, she’s a complete piss take !

So you've not addressed it with them? What relationship are they to you?

You said multiple friends and family members sent you screenshots, how would they know who told you?

I'd say something like "I know that you post pictures even though I asked you not to and you said you wouldn't. Do not take any more pictures of my child." And if I caught them doing it again, I'd ask them to leave.

I'm an occasional social media poster - I use FB, insta and Twitter. I would NEVER post a photo of someone else's child without their explicit consent on any and every occasion. This includes photos of nieces and nephews as pet of group shots at t family events for example. I think you're well within your rights to ask for the photos to be deleted.

Myself and my husband have both agreed we will not be posting pictures of our baby/family on social media and although we have social media we rarely post.
We have very strict rules:

• You ask for a photo, do not post it (if you do, no more photos. *If you take a photo and it's posted (you then are not welcome around our child). *If I find you have shared photos of my children with people you know we do not want involved in our childrens life (you will no longer be involved in their lives). *If I find a post on social media (it will be reported to be taken down). My child are my responsibility and it is my choice how we do that. If you do not follow simple rules. You lose access to them. I would definitely be calling them out on it telling them the photos are to be removed and if they continue then they would be ban from visiting xx

I would contact her and say numerous people have told you about the pictures and you are very unhappy as you said not to post online. You would like the posts removed and you will not be sending any pictures again.
I know you’re worried about causing the person who told you trouble but I think you need to stand your ground here. The person posting purposefully done it and has disregarded your wishes .

No I haven’t, the person is my mother !

I say multiple friends and family members , by that it’s my only friend 😂 but also siblings who still live at home. She isn’t the easiest person to live with so I guess I’m trying to protect them, although I suppose by telling me they should understand that I could say something.

I had a bit of a go when I was pregnant because she wasn’t bothered about anything but herself, never asked how me or my children were , only cared about herself etc and I told her exactly what I thought (in a political way, being hormonal at the time ) and was told how much of a bad person I am. She was phoning up family members crying about how much I’d upset her - trust me if I wanted to upset her I could have been way worse !

i try to ignore her . She becomes relentless if I do, and I know if I say something about the photos and FB posts it will be twisted back on me. I appreciate how ridiculous it sounds, my DH thinks I’m mad for not confronting her 😂

YANBU. You made it absolutely clear you did not want images on social media and they completely disregarded this boundary. Be very firm with them that all photos are to be removed and remain consistent with this and do not send any other photos in future.

Oh it's your mother, I see. My mum does stuff like that, very obviously testing my boundaries, yes you need to pull her up ! She probably knew someone would tell you lol

I would be asking them to take the photos down. Your children, your decision.

My Dad has done the same thing! When he met his grandson for the first time, I was telling them how the young girl next to me in the hospital was social media mad and all I could hear was her taking pictures. She had a Polaroid camera with her plus her phone and an expensive camera. The conversations between her and her partner just consisted of which photo to put on instagram next. My partner and I have made the decision to not put any pictures of our little one's face online or publish his full name and we have informed family members of this. My dad last week first of all put our babies full name on facebook and then posted a photo in our in our family chat.
I know he's just super proud and wants to show his grandson off but he was present in the room when we said no pictures etc on social media and even agreed it was a good decision because you really don't know who looks at your photos and pictures of children is always a prickly subject. I still haven't had the heart to tell him to take the name or photo off but instead just asked him to review his privacy settings as he hasn't restricted anything.

I run a kids sports club and we post pictures of kids winning competitions or awards.
There are sometimes kids whose parents haven't given permission. They are always cross at their parents when I tell them that their photo will have to be cut out or blurred or they need to step out of the shot.

I'd be fuming!!

Seriously, I'd say once more and you're not visiting.