To be very worried about the fact my child doesn’t speak?

[Gettp]

Ds is nearly 19 months. He can say ‘mama’ and ‘dads’ and ‘feet.’ That’s it.

I am very worried I am doing something wrong. I’ve tried to encourage him to say words or point to animals etc in a book and repeat the word but he just will not.

In terms of what he knows… if I say we need to put socks on he will lift his feet before I’ve even got the socks. He knows what a biscuit is, what his milk is etc as when I ask if he wants either of those things then he will smile excitedly or reach out his hands. He will also point to things that he wants or to the cupboard where his food is etc. But I can’t get him to say ‘milk,’ even if I said do you want milk or biscuit it’s like he can’t tell me which. I’ve tried all sorts to get him to speak more and I’m really worried. The GP said it didn’t matter and was no help and health centre/place where you can drop in just said to keep an eye but it was unusual?! Anyone got any experience?

Op my little boy is the same age and the same. He can follow some instructions like get your teddy, get a book, find your shoes , do you want a snack. Etc. he can't say mama. He says daddy, down, out, wow, go. Only so I can understand, not that others might. It bothers me he can't say mama.

My dd at the same age could say quite a lot. I don't know whether I need to do anything or just wait.

Sounds like his non verbal communication is good, if he's pointing and making eye contact and getting his needs met I wouldn't be worrying about spoken language. My son is autistic and had a big speech delay, no one cared about words it was the fact his understanding wasn't there coupled with very little gesture use (pointing, clapping, waving etc) and no non verbal communication. Just do lots of role modelling and don't keep asking him to 'say x' as it's overwhelming for them.

Riseandsigntherapies on Insta - Marissa Ramos - she's got a huge array of simply fantastic ideas to get little ones to use their sounds, and Makaton.

My youngest was the same. We even had his hearing tested. He didn’t say much till he was almost two, then he didn’t stop talking for 14 years… He’s just fine now.

Teach him makaton
Watch something special
Check his hearing
Can he choose if you show him two photos eg milk or juice?

He communicates with you non-verbally and he understands and responds to the language that he hears. That's the most important bit. The expressive language will come later.

If he wasn't responsive to you and your instructions, if he wasn't pointing or non verbally requesting, you'd have cause to be concerned. But he sounds as though he's doing fine.

Thank you so much for the replies, I feel a lot more rational now!

Just to add my child on his second birthday said 5 words. He understood everything.

Two months later he was talking in paragraphs and still hasn't stfu.

If he wasn't understanding I'd he worried, but he is so try and relax.

The GP said it didn’t matter and was no help

To be fair, the GP did help you - they told you it wasn’t anything to worry about, which was correct and would have been helpful if you’d believed them. Why do you think you weren’t reassured by the medical advice that your son’s language development is totally normal? Is this something you have a particular anxiety about?

Hopefully, other people’s experiences on this thread are helping to allay your concerns - please try not to worry!

I have a fair amount of experience in this both personally with 2 of my kids and professionally. (I am NOT a speech therapist to be clear though!) Receptive language (ie understanding) is what they are more concerned about at this age. It sounds like your little boy is on track with that.

You have done nothing wrong. My 20 month old has just had a (private) speech therapy assessment and he is delayed in verbal communication and gross motor skills (sounds crazy but the two can be linked). He says ‘dada’ and occasionally something that sounds like ‘more.’

Things that should help:

Lots of face to face play and face to face reading stories so he can see your mouth physically moving.
Modelling simple language as much as you possibly can.
Narrate your day for him to keep up the understanding.
Bubbles! Good for practising blowing but often get language going as you can use lots and lots of very simple language (pop, up, down, all gone etc).

If you’re on Instagram there are loads of qualified speech therapists who can give more ideas. If you can afford it you could do a private assessment, just to see where he sits. NHS won’t do anything at the moment.

Does he have any issues with:
Eating/drinking/chewing etc
excess dribbling?
gross motor skills?

Honestly try not to worry too much. He will get there. It is good to be aware though.

DS was nearly 3 before I stopped worrying. It was like a switch was turned on and he went from 6 words to sentences in a matter of weeks.
He understood everything though and could point at things in books.

My youngest was about 3 before he was saying many words. I was very concerned about him and his nursery had him assessed by a senco. She wasn't concerned.
He very quickly progressed when he eventually started talking and was fine once he started school.

My late dp's daughter didn't talk until she was nearly 3. She could point at what she wanted, rubbed her tummy if she was hungry, pointed at her mouth if she was thirsty. Then, from nowhere, she started picking up words & within 3 months had caught up with children of the same age. She had a brother who was 18 months older than her, so had someone to communicate with of her own age, she had walked at 9 months & understood what was being said to her. All children are different, my ds was doing the mumumumum & dadadadad sounds at 10 months, then at 14 months stopped talking for about a month, then started using full sentences. If she is meeting her other milestones like walking, feeding herself etc, I wouldn't worry, maybe get her hearing checked just in case there is a problem. Expose her to as much language as you can, read to her, sing songs with actions, nursery rhymes, give her a commentary when you are doing things, ask her to point to things like can you point to a red door or a blue car, give her simple instructions like can you give me your socks, just keep talking, it will come.

Best professional advice I got was to get a bunch of plastic animals, including farm animals and practice their different sounds, multiple times a day if you can, making a fun game of it.
This is the building block of speech and comes before words.

Mine is 21 months, he has somewhere around 5 words, but he’s finally trying to talk. It’s been frustrating as his sister spoke so much earlier. I think it’s a combination of him being a second child, a boy, and just taking his time. It’s hard when they’re starting so slow though. Once you’re “on alert” for signs of a problem, you’re constantly looking. Ours said “two” the other day, and held up a card with the number two, and completely freaked me out. It’s likely complete coincidence, but I’m not going to lie/say I’m not worried. A lot of our friend’s second children do speech therapy, and that seems to mainly circle around naming everything about every item they see. So we will keep trying that for now. Good luck, just know you’re not alone.

My eldest child didn't speak until she turned 3yrs old. She hasn't shut up since.

DS1 could manage over 300 words by his second birthday and use 3 words together.

DS2 (5 years younger) barely managed 10 words by aged 2 and those were difficult to understand. We used sign to communicate instead.

DS2 is now 8 and although he is selective over who he talks to, he has a superb vocabulary and is a very bright boy and woke me at 7am to tell me the cube root of 125 is 5!

All kids get there in their own time.

Mine didn’t really talk much, but when they did it was straight into full sentences.

I was too lazy to talk apparently, until I was over three. I just grunted and pointed and my needs were met 😂 I’m very well educated now.

But this is unusual.

With speech you can’t assume your child will be the unusual one, the majority of children who cannot speak at 2/3 have a speech delay and need help.

I find these threads quite disingenuous because suddenly all kinds of ‘he started with full sentences at 4’ posts come up when that is very much not the norm.

Developmental learning isn't linear. And as you have noted he is understanding more than he is saying. So comprehension is there, this is generally accepted as an indicator that he is developing in line with what is the average child.

He is walking? Did he walk early, how is his grip, his hand eye coordination because I would bet he is ahead in some and still working towards on others.

That is the way most children develop. But at the time as parents we are focused on maybe walk/talk not appreciating that his brain has been working on comprehension.

My eldest was a talker but slow walker. He had conversations very early but didn't walk till 15/16 months, he was just able to ensure someone else did the fetching and carrying.

My second was an early walker 10 months, scared the hell out of me. He spoke very little until nearer to two, but was running around kicking a ball. And once he started to talk he spoke in very clear sentences, and hasn't stopped since 😭

Your son is doing well, keep talking to them and encouraging him showing you know he understands. Isn't he a clever pup popping his feet up.

Mine didn’t even say three words at 19 months! He got the hang of it soon after that though and is now a very talkative, articulate five year old who is ahead of the class in literacy terms.

All kids develop at different rates. If he is hearing things ok then no need to worry.

At 20 months DD said mama, dada, yes, no and naina ( her version of her name). She could also follow instructions, babbled incessantly but never ever copied a word you said to her. At 2 years old she was talking in full sentences..... It was as though she couldn't be bothered to talk until she could do it " properly! "

My eldest didn't talk until he was 2.5 then it just exploded.

He's very young but if you have concerns speak to your health visitor
My now 14 year is severely autistic and non verbal, he used to use and still uses objects of reference ,to communicate he would give me a plate if he was hungry or glass of thirsty etc ,he's never pointed or clapped,
I do not wish to worry you at all and hopefully he will gain speech very soon
I would speak yo your health visitor and get his hearing tested in your position.

My DSis was like that - hardly spoke any words for ages. She made noises and she understood what was said to her, but she was really late speaking. She was completely fine in the end. If you're worried though, speaking to the HV and definitely get hearing checked. My DS was speech-delayed and it turned out that he had glue ear and needed grommets.