I'm not sure if I need advice or just a good moan. This will all sound very much like I don't like kids, but thats not true... I feel honoured that so many local kids feel safe at our house because it's not just the children i'm going to mention here BUT I'm just feeling a bit put out by it all. I don't feel I know how I'd ever approach the family about it without seeming like a cow and I don't want to upset them because they are SO welcoming with our DD (6).
Family a few doors down have three kids aged 8 (A), 6 (B) and 3 (C). A and B play a lot with my DD out in the street. It's a friendly cul-de-sac with a little park, they can be seen and we (and the other 4 or so families with kids who play out) feel they're safe. They also come over very regularly and although it gets a bit much when the doors constantly knocking (and they also just let themselves in sometimes, even when DD isn't here lol) we love that they're all so social and happy so it's all good.
The odd thing here is that A and B always have their younger sibling C with them. I think it's a bit young to let a 3 year old play out in the street anyway and to have an 8 yo and a 6 yo looking after them, and also it's not new she's been playing out with them without parents since she was 2 but hey, its not my business. Everyone is entitled to make their own choices with their kids right.
The thing is that they often bring her to our house. She's a great kid but she is a typical 3 yo and my house in not suitable for a 3 yo nowadays. We aren't baby proofed, we have a dog that rightfully doesn't appreciate children that she doesnt know pulling her face around and poking her in the eyes, and whenever she's over I have to stop literally whatever i'm doing and supervise for the whole visit. I take my eye off the ball for a second and things start getting broken.. expensive things, usually our DDs best toys. Today it was her L.O.L karaoke machine. The kid just ripped the microphone clean off and obviously DD is pretty sad about it.
Also she always asks for food, which I know sounds very mean of me but hear me out. I'm happy to share whatevers going but every single time without fail she takes the food (banana, biscuit, sandwhich, whatever it might be) eats one bite, spits the bite out usually on the floor and leaves the food so it's garuanteed 100% of the time to be a waste of food (we are pinching pennies over here guys, we manage but it's tight) and add a cleaning job for me. I understand that kids are kids and it's just her age but why am I having to deal with this? 😂
It's even to the point where she'll take a minor tumble out playing, won't even be injured enough for tears, not even a visible scrape nor a red mark, seemingly normal, and A and B bring her round so I can stop what i'm doing and 'patch her up' (I call it an emotional support plaster lol) rather than go literally 2 doors down to their own mum and dad (who are LOVELY by the way so im pretty sure these kids are very well looked after) for a cuddle there.
We're at a really good stage at the minute with our routine as a family where DD can play with her friends a bit, I can get my chores/work done or have 5 minutes to myself. The whirlwind toddler days are behind us until WE decide we're ready to go again. But now i'm having to supervise someone elses 3 year old without pre-arranging at all, never once have I had a text to ask if it's alright she's here or to check she IS here... we've had to get A and B to send her home a few times because she's been really laying it on with the dog or generally being willful and difficult (pushing against our very reasonable and normal house rules) and she has the most enormous toddler sized tantrums when it's time to leave, and then A and B have to sort her out... seems unfair to put this all on them.
Now I keep having to turn her away and tell them they need to take her home before they can come in because I can't be responsible for her and I feel so bad honestly😅but also.... I just really don't want to have to look after a child that is essentially a toddler, whos baby talk I do not understand even slightly, who breaks our stuff, hurts our dog, wastes our food and screams the house down 😂
And.....breathe.......
And it's the half term now so it's not just the evenings, its all day for a whole week haha! Guys, I feel over run and i'm sure a lot of you are feeling it too! x