I’m a FTM to an 11 week old and have a crazy MIL. For context, she tries to take LO from me when he’s crying, she bought a cot for her place without telling us, she insisted on doing his bath every night (I told her no after the second time which she then started an argument about saying she needs to supervise incase I get water in his ears), she stayed over the first night we came home and fed him even after I told her I will set an alarm to wake him to feed him and didn’t want anyone staying over, she made continuous ‘jokes’ about taking him to Romania without me and when one of the neighbours asked my partner if he had a baby as they couldn’t tell I was pregnant she said “you should have told them no my mum had a baby”. She told me when I was pregnant “you look after baby when he’s growing in you and I’ll look after him when he’s here”, she literally acted like LO was her baby and I’m just the surrogate. She showed up to our place without warning and when I finally set boundaries she had an argument with us and threatened to kick us out (we rent our flat from them).
We act civil with each other now but I’m so anxious when we see them. I need to know if I’m overreacting in the following situation. We went out for lunch with them in a large pub garden. When my partner got the car seat out of the car, before we could attach it to the pram, my FIL without saying anything grabs the car seat with baby in and takes it to their car where MIL is. I follow them and say we need to put the car seat onto the pram attachments which is by our car and he just ignores me. My partner later asks if his mum can hold LO which I say yes to, she then takes LO and walks off with him in the pub garden without saying a word. He then starts crying and I tell my partner to tell her to bring him back so I can feed him which she does. She goes to hand him to me then he stops crying for literally 5 seconds and she walks off again with baby facing away from us. I glance over a few times as I do not trust her and to make sure LO is okay and my FIL then says multiple times “you’re too concentrated on your baby, stop concentrating on them she’s fine with him look at me instead of them”. I then say how she keeps walking off with him even after I told her I want to feed him. When I’m holding LO they are constantly staring at him and smothering me without looking away but when I glance over at my own son that MIL has taken away from me I’m a trouble maker? My partner didn’t say much at the time but when we got in the car he said I’m always stressing about LO and it’s always something I have an issue about with his mum and I’m constantly nagging and he didn’t see a problem with his mum walking away from him. I feel like he doesn’t have my back in these situations and moans at me for being protective over our son. AIBU?