Did your dad sit at the head of the table growing up?

[PassingStranger]

If you had a father at home, was he head of the table at meal times?

Just thinking about the way we sat as a family at the table and yes dad was head?
Wonder if other people ever think now about the way they are sat?

Growing up I had an oval table. Now have a rectangular table, we sit anywhere. One side is close to the fire so me and DH avoid. DM likes to roast herself!

No, he was already grown up by the time he was my Dad.

No — there were four of us so two of us sat at each of the longer sides of the table, in random order.

Our dining table was round, so - no! Now we have a rectangular table but only one DC so he sits at the ‘head’ with us on either side.

Yes he did. But he was quiet hardworking, humble man. We weren’t allowed to talk at the table so just eat and get on with it. One of mums strange rules.

we don’t use the table now, I’ve tried but H doesn’t care about eating together. I find it very strange and sad we don’t sit to eat as a family. If it’s Xmas/thanksgiving etc I insist and I actually sit at the head most of those times

I can't remember - he left when I was 10.

Thinking about it, he did seem to in his second family situation. They all put him on a pedestal for reasons I'll never fathom.

Parents one side with a 4’ cane between them that was used on me or my two siblings if we dared to break one of the unwritten rules. This meant I often got hit across my hands or poked in the chest/hit on the head for something I’d done wrong but I rarely knew what it was.
i dreaded mealtimes and became a secret binger, eating as fast as I could when out of sight or going to my lovely grandmother’s for dinner.

No my grandmother or mother did and that's the way I like it.

God no.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that 💐

Oh @DaffydownClock that's horrific. I am so sorry.

We had a square table so we all just sat on a side. Mum cooked, dad did washing up.

Round table, so no. Mum cooked, dad washed up. No weird patriarchal rules.

No, head of the table only used when grandmothers visited, and mum's mum sat there.

Yes he did.

but Mum often threatened to move him to one of the sides because he'd keep saying 'please pass me the errr ummm (gesticulating at the potatoes/veg/salad/bread or whatever)

it didn't really make sense on a rectangle table because then he was at the head, I was on his left & mum & brother on the other side, so 2&2 on the sides would have made more sense & he'd have been able reach everything!!

but he liked the extra 'wing room'
& I think being 'the man of the house, sitting at the head of the table was just part of him feeling things were 'right'.

My Dad was lovely & other than the 'can I have the errrrr ummm errr' which got him told off every bloody night, I never gave it any thought.

if I could have my Dad back, he could sit at the head of the table all the day long asking for the errr...

So entitled of him! What happened? Who did get the seat?

We didn’t have a table when I lived with my parents, but with my grandparents (I lived with them from age 7) technically I sat at the head of the table. One end was pushed up against the wall. 3 siblings on one side, Nana and grandad on the other and me on the end - there was barely enough room for me to fit.

We didn’t really have room for a table but Nana felt it was important after all the changes that we eat together.

My df did/ does sit at the head of the table. But that's because that's the seat with the most leg room and he's the tallest in the family

Our kitchen table was rectangular and pushed in between the fridge and the sink. It was pulled out a little and the smallest person had to climb over so one “head” actually had the smallest person. The opposite head was my mums space as it was nearest the cooker. Dad sat near the sink on the long side of the table with me on the opposite side. Tbh it was a pain in the backside and far too small a kitchen to eat in. Once we were old enough we abandoned it and ate on our laps in the living room. We did eventually get a table at the back of the living room but this was only used for Christmas Day and sat 6 so noone sat at the head - we sat 2 at each of the long sides.

Yes he did.

Oh god yes . And mum at the kitchen end. Plus he always has to carve and made a big show of it . Veeeery slowly .

Yes and my mum insisted on serving his food first. He always seemed uncomfortable with it though.

Parent separated so can’t remember. I doubt it though.

Yes, and he regularly told us that he was head of the house. Never understood what it was that made him head as mum did absolutely everything, he didn’t even work when I was young. She left him years ago surprisingly.

i grew up with one of these fathers too. Always at the head of the table. And when he first came to visit me in my own home, he sat at the head there too, which he saw as his right as I was a woman living alone. Ours wasn’t the kind of family where that could be challenged without a nuclear fallout, so I left it slide, but the following week went out and bought a round table.