Social media - have you come off?

[Hydrate100]

My husband says that social media (FB) is not healthy for me and I do agree. I compare myself, feel guilty when I see neighbour's little girl riding a bike at a younger age to my kid, who cannot and doesn't show interest. I feel ungirly when I see women looking lovely made up with perfect hair and nails when my hair is fine and lifeless and I bite my nails. I see other people doing exciting things at weekends and feel guilty that I am not doing these things with our kids, although we are restricted as the youngest has autism.

Has anyone come off social media and how did you find it? All my school/uni friends are scattered around the country/world so that's my main reason for keeping it.

There's one thing you have to ask yourself about social media:
Do you feel better (eg slightly more cheerful, optimistic) after looking at posts? Or do you feel worse - slightly down, inadequate, missing out?
If you feel worse, even a little bit, then stop using it. You won't miss it.
I've deleted Instagram. I still have Facebook but almost never look at it and don't post. Never had Tiktok. I sometimes look at Twitter for news.

No but I don’t feel the same way you do, your DH is right and you’d feel a lot better if you stopped comparing yourself to others. Social media can be toxic for some people.

I got rid of Facebook a few months ago but still use messenger. I feel tons better for it and my screen time has halved.

Weirdly, now its been a while I feel pretty daunted at the thought of logging back on but I can't articulate why.

I'm only on Facebook for photos school post and local news/events etc. Not on anything else.
I never post on Facebook anymore.

Yes, I came off nearly 3 years ago now. It has been wonderful. My head is no longer full of the details of the lives of 100s of people- many of whom I haven’t seen in years, and/or only have a passing acquaintance with. It’s hard to explain the head space and peace it gives you. I don’t think I was even particularly comparing myself negatively with anyone, as I’m happy with my life, but it was just exhausting having to keep up with/comment on/ ponder over the lives of people that I really don’t see that often or (to be honest) care about that much. Life it so much simpler. I find out about things later, because I don’t see the holiday photos or the baby photos or whatever- but it’s fine, my real friends still keep me in the loop, and I do the same with them. I recommend it.

It all depends who and what you follow. I am mostly on gardening and feed your family on a budget type groups. Distinct lack of bronzed beauties on beaches there! Lots of good tips and information and no self esteem issues.

I gave up. It was fine. I realised it was a good idea after we had a power outage for a couple of hours and I felt much more human afterwards.

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow I follow a gardening Facebook page, it's lovely and really useful. Although I do get a tad jealous of other people's gardens😅. But that's outweighed by the really helpful tips and lovely people on there.

No but I don’t feel the same way you do, your DH is right and you’d feel a lot better if you stopped comparing yourself to others. Social media can be toxic for some people.

Im starting to dislike SM more and more, it definitely robs us of our time

FB - have had it for about 16 years, now i rarely post, often scroll (pointlessly) but i do like the groups/pages I follow for help/advice and general information regarding hobbies. I also find lots of meal inspiration, styling ideas etc. cannot be arsed with the ‘oh my world, look at us’ type posts.

Twitter - I do have an account but never use it, it seems a very toxic place

Insta - I like following food/lifestyle, comedians etc on here but I definitely use it less these days.

TikTok - i dont use it much, but i do find it good for cooking/lifestyle videos.

SnapChat - i use it very rarely to post, I only got this as my teens use it and I was fed up of them not replying in whats app, its easier to get them on snapchat.

whatsapp/messenger - use both to message friends

and it appears that DH and I are very old school and we text/imessage each other 🤣 its literally only DH or my parents who text (my parents call 99.9% of the time). I like imessages as i can easily search back years of convo if we need to find details etc.

i think SM can be a very toxic place especially for young people.

i have fairly recently discovered MN and i do enjoy a scroll on here and have found the teens threads which is very useful and relative right now.

Never forget, we only see what people want us to see on SM, the lovely family days out, the angelic kids, fabulous holidays, often never the real stuff from life.

I just have FB & only go on to check our local events/weather pages & sometimes for a nosy. It doesn’t make me in any way envious, guilty etc. I know the people behind the perfect posts so I’m well aware of the reality. I think of it has a negative effect, I would come off it.

Deleted instagram a year ago previously been off it. 3 year stint before that. Have fb but deleted ALL my friends and only follow useful local pages, playgroups etc

I came off FB just before I got married and that was over 6 years ago now.

I definitely don't miss it and I catch up with my abroad friends via WhatsApp and phone call / video.

I thought I'd miss it but I really don't.

I've come off everything apart from scrolling on TikTok or forums like this one. No Facebook, Instagram, twitter etc.

Occasionally feel a bit left out if people are talking about what they've seen/heard, but mostly it's been a positive experience. I have more time for reading, spend less time scrolling. When I'm enjoying a moment, my first thought isn't to take a photo and try out a million different filters, with a caption saying I feel lucky 🤣

I was going through a horrible situation in my life when I deleted it, after seeing everyone's happy and positive posts. When my situation got better and I got back to posting more positive stuff, I realised I'm only contributing to the problem, as it was likely one of my friends or followers could be going through something awful, and I'm here posting about my 'great life', which is all lies and filters anyway.

Deleting FB is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 10 years and counting. It was surprisingly difficult to totally cancel it and I did have some FOMO for a while, but it was worth it.

Came off Facebook about 5 years ago, it's brilliant.

Never got an Instagram. I have WhatsApp and Mumsnet. My mental health is good and I don't think it would be with social media.

I have Facebook but I haven't posted for a long time. I do scroll through it and I'm in a useful group. But I find posting things a bit weird now, and when my children grew up they demanded that I don't post any pictures of them on it. I have to respect this as my son once posted a photo of me looking ridiculous on Instagram for a joke and I was mortified and wouldn't let it rest until he took it off.

What I'm finding strange at the moment is that I suddenly have a window into the lives of some people I barely know, never liked and haven't seen for more than thirty years, just because an old friend (who I also haven't seen for that long) has started a relationship with one of them. It's bizarre. I've started wondering why people want to be so public these days. It doesn't make me feel insecure though but these days I prefer to communicate more privately.

I came off all social media because my personal phone is also my work phone ( weird set up, not uk) . I seem to remember this time last year being tied in knots about it. Now I actually don't understand most of the chat and vaguely recall it. When I get back to my facebook account eventually I fully intend to delete it all.

I came off. I was commenting on things I found rude and disgusting to counter the horrid comments. Of course the algorithm just means then you see more, so freedom of speech isn't really allowed and you end up having to ignore pretty nasty stuff which didn't sit right with me.

A couple of times I've missed knowing what is going on locally with the town fb group (house party going on until 2am for example) but I don't miss the feeling of missing out on holidays etc. I'm not very well at the moment and actually not able to do much so I feel it's good timing not worrying I'm not doing enough over half term, for example.

It also has been interesting to see who becomes interested enough to actually text and see how you are.

Yup. Deleted everything. Just on mumsnet and watch the occasional You Tube video. Reading books instead and feel less anxious without social media.

I have come off FB but still browse instagram, i find Facebook has a lot of negativity and also they let people post stuff and it you comment on the post you get banned if they don't like what you've said, why let the people post it in the first place then.

I only have Mumsnet now.

I don't miss any other SM. Once you've been off a while it becomes weird.

I don't get the hatred, although I use it a lot less, but I still like FB and it still has my history stored on it.

I have.
Facebook in particular for me was (by the end) just not a healthy or happy place to be. It was during covid and the usually nice locals page turned into a nasty, spiteful bitch fest. The sheer venom and excitement over taking photos of people breaking "the rules" was horrendous. I was never one photographed or mentioned, but it made me anxious and paranoid and since then I've really thought differently about some of the people who live here and won't go to as many village events. I decided to take a break and just never went back. Hand on heart, I've never missed it. Ever.

I’ve deleted the apps from my phone. Use the web pages some days but they are clunky so don’t stay on long. Which is the point.