People who brag about being a "bitch"

[Tubc]

I don't understand this;
I have two colleagues in work who seem to see this as a desirable trait,

"Sorry, I can be such a bitch"
"I'm just naturally bitchy"
"I was just being a bitch"

They then told another colleague,
"You could never be a bitch"
but in a patronising tone

But most of the time, they're not even being bitchy, if that makes sense,

For example,
One emailed about an idea she had, the next day in work came up to me and said,
"Sorry I was such a bitch in my email"
and seemed taken back when I asked her what she meant, the email was fine,

I just don't understand why someone would want people to think this of them. Is this "in" at the moment?

Sounds immature, and rather tiresome 😂

perhaps they’re conditioned (as all women are to an extent by society) to think that women being assertive, having an opinion or putting their needs first is seen as others as being a “bitch” so feel the need for self deprecation or apology?

It sounds a bit unprofessional and if you’re their senior perhaps ask them to stop labelling themselves like this. There’s no need. Colleagues are able to form their own opinions of their character.

It makes them sound stupid.

But I think that's why I'm confused by it - because they're tone is not apologetic, it's as if they actually want people to think they're a bitch, if that makes sense?
They're in their early 20s,
I'm 28 so not much older!

Not only that, they are often bullies from the ones I have met, that is until they meet their match😂

They sound very young. Probably love Mean Girls and think acknowledging their bitchiness excuses bad behaviour. They'll look back in a few years and wince.

If it wasn't a professional environment, I'd take great pleasure in agreeing with them when they made such cringeworthy comments.

It is cringeworthy - like the craze a few years ago when women described themselves proudly as "ball busters" - WTF?
I'd ask what they mean by it, because the definition is a mean spiteful person, not the assertive ruthless business woman that they are trying to be seen as.

This.

I see what you mean.

Ive seen loads of posters on here with variations of names like “QueenBitch”.. almost like a badge of honour.

I suppose they’re defining “bitch” as not taking any nonsense, no one bullies me, I can stand up for myself etc rather than you know - nasty, spiteful, back stabbing or whatever 😂

Id ignore it or nod and agree. It comes across as rather insecure and desperate for an identity so they’ll hopefully grow out of it and learn to be themselves.

You could explain to them that the term “bitch” is misogynistic and dehumanising. It’s a put down for women so don’t use it for yourself.

In the gay community, Bitch is something often aspired to. “Throwing shade” on others is done mostly in jest in a camp way (as if this is an exaggerated way women behave) and gets you admiration. Drag Race is an example of this.
They might be influenced by that.

I think it’s a defence mechanism as they secretly think/know nobody likes them. So they may as well be a bitch so they feel like people not liking them is at least on their terms.

I have friends in their 30s who describe themselves as bitches. I find it quite cringey tbh. No one else has ever described them as bitches.

It's awful to see or hear young women using such language about themselves. They seem so unaware and pay so little attention to language and its implications for themselves or women in general. It seems as if they conform to whatever is around them but have no autonomous sense of themselves. Is it an instinctive reaction or a recognition and reflection of how little power they feel they have in today's society?