Should I go to the wedding?

[skip2mylou]

We’ve been invited to a family member’s wedding (abroad so will require considerable expense, time off work, arranging pet/house sitter, etc). I’m happy for DH to go (it’s his family member) but I cba with all of that hassle for someone who refused to speak to us for months after we told them we’d gotten married (registry office, just us and two close friends as witnesses). So was clearly super happy for us 🙄
AIBU? DH thinks I am and should try to build bridges. I’m quite happy with the absence of a bridge (but don't want to cause WWIII).

My guess is one of DH's siblings for them to have given OP and DH the silent treatment for not being invited to their wedding and I'm guessing the threat of WWIII will be that PILs will get involved.
OP, I think you're fine not to go. It's the risk of overseas weddings, more people will choose not to attend.

I would go. See it as an opportunity to spend quality time with DH.

Why does the OP need/deserve more support than her husband. As a team they should be mutually supportive but he’s trying to build a bridge with his family. However, OP seems to think it’s OK to throw his connection with some of his family away and potentially upset relations with others. Shouldn’t OP support husband in trying to build bridges for his, the rest of his family’s, and any future children of theirs’ sakes ? Are family really so disposable?

Calm down grumpy, there is no issue between DH and family member (clearly he's more forgiving than me) and I'm not suggesting he should "throw his connection with some of his family away and potentially upset relations with others".

DH thinks me going will help to mend bridges between me and family member. The thing is, I'm just not interested in having a relationship with someone who could be so deliberately hurtful - they seem to have forgotten all about it but I haven't.

Anyhoo, I've got a while to mull it over/perfect my fake smile/come down with bubonic plague.

Thanks to everyone who has commented.

I probably wouldn't go for a variety of reasons - cost/annual leave/hassle and also the fact they got cobby in the first place.

But, I would encourage DH to go and I would simply say I couldn't go as I was unable to get the time off work. There is no arguing with that.