Spiky friend , I'm wrong about everything

[crochetmonkey74]

I love my friend, she is menopausal and spiky and has moments where she realises this about herself. She's always been a little distrustful of people and can take offence and bear a grudge like nobody's business, but this week alone she's turned each conversation into my failing. Here's the examples:
A colleague at work who everyone likes has been inappropriate to a colleague (in an angry way) and everyone is very shocked. We were discussing it and she said "I thought you said he was lovely" (the context here is that everyone thought he was lovely and this is out of character)
Second example is a health professional I've been working with about a knee problem (I can't say too much here and I've changed some details) there's been conduct towards me I've needed to report to the higher body governing their work) again she said "I thought you said they were great and it was really helping your knee"
And the third silly example was only yesterday when we chatted about Ruth Langsford and Eammon Holmes splitting and she said "I thought you said you liked them and they had a strong marriage"

This is sort of semi light hearted and a rant, but she does struggle with being seen as wrong , and she's very defensive . I think it comes from fear of being taken in. Weirdly, she has a different friend who taps her up for money all the time and is quite disliked by her family, but she will defend them to the hilt.
Grrr

That sounds really draining. You don’t have to participate in interactions with people who drain you. Make an excuse and leave the interaction when stuff like this happens. Go to the loo, have an unpredictable something come up. Put in space with draining people.

Some people are just made this way, for whatever psychological reason. If you say, "It's raining," they'll say "Yes, but not as hard as yesterday." I personally can't stand it, but others are equally stroppy and they seem to get on fine. Different strokes.

Yeah I've accepted it as her personality as it's very draining. It's kind of always making you a little but at fault

Oh I couldn’t be bothered with that. She’d be a former friend of mine.

Exactly this. I work with someone like this and draining is exactly the word for it!

Oh and the other friend is probably just more likely than you to snap at them so they tread a bit more carefully. People like this can definitely rein it in if they need to, she doesn’t with you as you’re probably fairly nice and relaxed and therefore so is she and her naturally draining personality comes blossoming out!!

I think defensiveness and never wanting to be seen as 'silly' or wrong is very interesting. I think connected to insecurity