Holiday plans with family - Hotel vs Villa

[Polly345]

My partner has suggested we go on holiday with his brother and sister in law.
They have discussed going to a villa as they would like a private pool as they don't like the idea of being in a pool with other people.
While I feel this is not unreasonable, their overall holiday routine is so different from ours. They like the idea of sunbathing and drinking where we like to go out and about.
My concern is we might not be near shops, bars, restaurants etc and probably most of the Holiday will be spent with them where I like the idea of a hotel or a centrally located apartment. I also like to meet new people on holiday.
Please let me know experiences of this kind of holiday and any advice how I can voice my opinions without seeming like a spoilsport.

I agree good idea to look to resorts with swim up rooms and private pools first. Nothing to stop different families having different types of board either, if that would suit.

Don't mind self catering personally, especially in the UK, but SC with a group involving multiple households inevitably creates the potential for more work. I don't know that I'd be up for that in this situation.

We only go villas the privacy trumps anything else you can still eat out and you can absolutely get villas near shops bars etc.

If you're not compatible with holidays then you might not reach a solution everyone is happy with. I'd still go but sort own accommodation out and meet in the day or for meals in the evening.

We eat out or order in. I've found local restaurants are usually happy to deliver meals to the villa on their own plates and collect them to wash.
The most cooking I've ever done in a villa is opening crisp packets or buttering bread.

Hotel. That way you can choose to spend time together or apart, and no arguments about noise, time to go to bed, who cooks and cleans etc.

Nope. There is a reason that I will never do a group holiday again. My time and money are too scarce to waste on other people’s ideas of fun.

Self catering is not my idea of a holiday, so I would far rather be in a hotel, with lots of other people, enjoying the all inclusive!

It would be a boring world if we all liked the same things, but some shared preferences may be useful with a group/family holiday.

Why does renting a villa automatically mean you have to cook

We only eat breakfast in the villa and that consists of fruit, cheeses and croissants

We love the space and everyone has their own bedroom and the fact the pool is all ours. We love being able to get drinks during the day that aren’t costing hotel prices

It will be a long time before I book a hotel again

It sounds like you both have different idea of what makes a good holiday. You suit hotels / apartment a with shared pool to make friends and be in the thick of it so to speak. They sound like they prefer a villa in the middle of nowhere. I’d just decline personally in this situation

The only time I’ve rented a villa is in Florida and I do think that was a better way to do it, everyone having their own bedroom and also time to chill. We did 3wks each time we went so it was nice to have time to watch TV and lounge around the pool. I don’t think I’d rent a villa in Europe though, as I don’t usually drive on European holidays and most villas are not very central

We get in a cold sweat everytime we book a holiday incase any of our friends or family suggest joining us. Our nearest friends are both unable ti walk far, and their idea of a hol is driving, eating and drinking. We like all of those but prefer walking, visiting sites, museums, galleries and shops. Bit of sunbathing at the end of the day, then finding a bar with entertainment. We go away next week, first week in an apartment, so will sort out our own breakfast, then eat out for all other meals. Minimum chores. Second week on two different hotels, first in an inland village so we can eat out in some of the lovely restaurants without having to get back to accomodation in the big resorts a few miles away. Finishing off in a typical beach side HB hotel close to the airport as we had an early flight originally, till Ryanair changed our flight timrs to evening.

You don’t need a villa to get a private pool - plenty of hotels have rooms / single occupancy villas with private pools.
but you do sound like you like very different holidays

@Yalta you are very invested in the villa thing but when there are multiple families and children a bit of cheese and fruit in the kitchen doesn't cut it.

Even when they are teens they are constantly after food.

We have done multiple holidays where we have stayed in SC with the kids it's great in terms of freedom but honestly I'll take AI where I don't have to keep whipping the wallet out or fetching food.

@jeaux90 we are going to Majorca this year. Five of us. Flights, car hire and villa £4000 for the week, plus food.
AI was £6000, plus some room sharing.
So although AI means everything is paid for you pay a lot more in the first place.
We must be really boring on holiday as I don't mind the extra work (such as it is) at all.
I meal plan as usual before I go, order an online delivery from a supermarket and get easy meals such as fajita kits.
After everyone has showered at night, we all put our clothes into the machine. Switch it on and hang it out before we leave the next day.
It's really no problem for us. As I said, horses for courses but I have no idea why such a light amount of looking after yourself should cause such a drama.

I think people generally underestimate how selfish and impatient they are 🙂.
Look at this situation, your relatives pointed out straight away that they prefer villa and their own pool. Which is good in a way, as they are honest about expectations.
I would tell them that you don’t really like staying in a villa type holiday but like to be out and about and see what they say about it. Don’t allow them to move it up the territory: do you want or not to holiday with us. Because it’s not about it , it’s about you joining them on a certain type of holiday (which might be fine by you by the way).
I would also think carefully about power dynamics in siblings relationship. However lovely and loving relatives are - some might think that they should be leading because they are older/experienced etc. they would ask your opinion but you have to be quite pushy with expressing it.
That’s why I don’t holiday with relatives.
The cynic in me says that villa is cheaper for more people that why they came out with this offer. Nothing wrong in this approach by the way.

@Katypp because I pull 70 hours weeks as an exec, I'm a lone parent and really really don't want to do any domestic drudge on holiday thanks.
Not a drama, just a choice.

OP has had some great different opinions on here

@pizzaHeart i think you are spot on.
ILs often rely on DH for loans so I think that this would also be a concern for me.

it would be a big no from me if there is a potential financial misbalance because it might affect your relationship for worse.