Not to have given up my seat on plane

[Rainbowgoldover]

Just wondering ....

I flew home last night from holiday with a friend.

BA flights , flight out was dreadful, cramped seats , allocated at check in so we had last row next to the toilets ...

On the way back we learnt our lesson so paid to book seats, I booked an aisle seat, friend booked a window seat, flight about 70 per cent full.

The person in the middle seat , asked me if I would move so she could have the aisle seat.

I refused and said no I booked aisle and don't want to sit in middle seat. She said but I want to be near my family in the row opposite. I still politely refued to move.

Cue lots of aggro, she finally got the flight attendants to move her accusing me and my friend of talking over her , we absolutely were not, both had headphones on watching netflix.

If you really want to sit somewhere why can't you pay 23.99 and pre reserve a seat, don't make others feel bad for not giving up theirs ?

A few years ago, I was asked to give up my reserved seat by a small group that wanted to sit together but obviously hadn't reserved seats. They didn't take a polite no for an answer and continued to pester me. So, I explained to them that in the event of a plane crash the forces are so extreme that passengers' limbs and heads are often wrenched off and of course if there is a fire the bodies are reduced to ashes. This means that seat numbers are often the only viable means of identifying remains and I wasn't giving up my seat and risking one of them ending up in my family plot. They stopped asking.

I’ll never move for entitled pricks who can’t be bothered to book appropriately.

@Rainbowgoldover YANBU if that woman wanted an aisle seat she should have bloody paid for one like you and your friend did. She's an entitled cheeky fucker.

Something similar happened to me on a train, back then you could pay to reserve a seat with a plug and it was cheap too only about £2 or £3 I booked a table seat. Anyway when I got to my seat a guy was sitting there with his phone plugged in. I politely said to him that he was in my seat and showed my ticket he responded by pointing at the seat opposite and said "that seat's free you can sit there" my cheeky fucker alarm bells started ringing so I replied more firmly "I paid to reserve that seat and I will be sitting in it please move or I'll call a member of staff to move you" cue lots of huffing and puffing but he moved then left his phone in the socket to charge and when I unplugged it he rudely said "I need to charge my phone!" At which point my politeness vanished and I replied back "well you should have paid to reserve a seat with one like I did you rude dickhead!" He sat in silence throwing me dirty looks had he asked me nicely if I minded him charging his phone I would have let him but I don't allow cheeky fuckers to take the piss on general principle because it encourages them more.

I would have joined in the conversation if I was sat between two people. Simples .Especially since I am not from UK . Met some nice people, had a laugh , helped each other out . We are all stuck in this tin can in the sky together with only 4 toilets usually. Not the place to crave privacy or get precious about our space . Short haul flights especially .

Do calm dear 😇

If you ask to swap seats with me you will get a STONE COLD STARE! I'll refuse to say a word! When you decline politely they still act passive aggressive and give you attitude throughout the flight!

The harm was that she wanted (and paid for) the extra feeling of space of an aisle seat and would have lost that by moving to the middle seat.

The talking over me would annoy me.

I don't think I'm precious, but then again I would rather sit on the wing than make small talk with two strangers for 9 hours, so maybe I am after all 😂

This!

On our recent flight someone asked my DH to move so she could sit next to her friend. He politely refused as he was across the aisle from me and the DC and had booked that seat specifically. Everything was fine, no drama and no social media validation required

Unless you have under-3s or a disability I genuinely cannot imagine being arsed about where you sit on a plane.

You don't have to be. But some people do care and they can choose to pay for the seat they want.

The very same thing has happened to me before. Thankfully, a guy offered to swap with me when he saw our situation and it meant that one parent could sit with our young children, he ended up with a better seat too so everyone was happy.

Of course you are not being unreasonable but did you really not speak to your friend at all before she asked you to swop? How would she know you were together? I've had the scenario of friends booking a &c in the hope b remained vacant and it wasn't pleasant, passing Pringles across and yes I asked if they wanted to swop ... I think they realised they were making me uncomfortable and did.

Well, that's the nature of flying. The number of seats is limited. Given how many people don't take the option to reserve seats, it's reasonable to conclude that for many people, the cost isn't worth it and they'd rather risk being sat somewhere that isn't ideal. It's a bus with wings at the end of the day.

@itsgettingweird itsgettingweird · Today 07:55
Yanbu.

You paid for the seat. She had the same option.

I am against this paying though as you didn't use to have to.

I refuse to pay. I travel with my disabled son and so if they don't want to piss off other passengers to being an unpaid carer for him then put me there!

This is an insane and really selfish attitude if you have a disabled son. It's more important than ever for him than you sit together if his needs are such that you think a passenger might be an upaid carer!

You say 'they don't want to piss off other passengers to being an upaid carer for him". Plenty of people just wouldn't get involved and ignore him. Why do you think anyone would become a carer for your son.

The fact that you are against paying because you never used to is a ridiculous argument. You never used to have to pay vehicle excise duty or even have a driving licence. That's not a reason to not do it now!!

No one wants to pay for this sort of thing but it's now the business model and has been for years - you want a guaranteed place next to someone, you have to pay. Otherwise you are selfishly gambling on the goodwill of other people - you may be lucky, but what if you aren't? Your son loses out at the cost of what £30 or £40 ?

You are just being a cheapskate at the expense of other people which is very unfair and probably stressful. Every time you will be involved in confrontations of this sort because you will always be asking people to move at their inconvenience. It's just a bit nasty and distasteful. I feel sorry for your son as it must stress him out.

@Bushwhacked20

They charge if you want to reserve a seat ahead of check in, at check in (24 hours before you fly) it is free.

Nah, if you paid for that seat you get to sit in it. So many entitled people around who don't want to pay the extra money and then get arsey when people don't want to swap. The whole point of paying is to get a particular seat. The extra cost is usually very little compared to the price of an airline ticket these days and worth paying if you are bothered about where you sit in the plane. If you aren't bothered, then don't pay, but don't expect others to move.
It's the people who are bothered about where they sit and won't pay the money who really piss me off.

People asking why people book an aisle and a window leaving the middle seat free when travelling together... not saying this is the case with the OP but I think a lot of people have seen travel hacks on tiktok suggesting if you do this it's likely you'll end up with a row to yourself because no one wants the middle seat.
If you aren't going to talk to each other at all and pass snacks to each other etc, then fair enough, but I think it's anti-social to book seats like that and then talk over the person in the middle seat.

But airlines seem to deliberately separate families to force them to pay.

Exactly. If you care, pay for the seat you want. But if you don't pre-book, don't moan about it and insist other people accommodate you.

@ouch321 I am not the most confident flyer and planning for all eventualities is part of my flight routine - where are the exits which way will I go etc. I have been on long haul flights in the past (KLM and some American airlines) before online booking where we have pitched up at check-in (always in very good time) and my four children have been scattered all over the plane. I find that extremely stressful because who is going to help them put on their oxygen masks and how am I going to get to them all if we have to evacuate.

I know rationally it's not likely to happen but having mothers going in the opposite direction to get to their kids would create chaos (because I know I wouldn't get off the plane without them)and is bad health and safety planning by the airline and I genuinely don't think it should be allowed - they have a duty of care for children and they should have to be sat with a parent. I have also had one of my daughters put in between two men when she was 14 and made sexual advances to.

It is much less stressful now you can book seats online in advance and I only fly with airlines where I can do that.

That said, I have had some lovely people offer to swap seats in the past but I have never ever demanded anyone do so. Usually just saying if you don't want to be sat in the middle next to this four year old for 11 hours my daughter has a nice window seat you could have does the trick!

It hadn't occurred to me before that it was antisocial to book the window and aisle seats of the same row, but I can't remember the last time I travelled on the same flight with someone I knew, so I've just never had cause to consider that sort of booking.

I pay to book a seat - aisle or window - because honestly, who likes the middle seat?

I wouldn't swap as I would have paid for my seat. Plus, I get priority boarding to clean my own seating area as an allergy sufferer, so moving defeats that purpose.

(I have mixed feelings about this. I don't think it's right that someone with an allergy is expected to possibly touch an allergen - the plane should be cleaned between uses. I suppose the logic is if I get on first and clean it myself, if there's an allergen from a previous flight and I react, they can take me off the plane before it's due to take off.)

It’s not anti social to book window and aisle. If it was airlines would say passengers had to be seated together. Most folks don’t sit and chat all the way. Different if you’re with a kid or have a fear of flying or something, but it’s perfectly acceptable to book and pay for the seats you wish.

I was travelling recently- my husband had aisle seat with extra legroom and I was at aisle one row behind him on opposite side - no one was sitting in 2 seats next to me . A family got on and I heard the mum say that the travel agent had booked her young daughter in the aisle seat opposite her and her husband with baby behind her. The flight attendant said take their allocated seats and they would sort when everyone got on. I could hear them discussing where to swap people when I realised the aisle seat behind me was empty- I offered to move as it meant the family would have 3 seats to sit together. They were taken aback and very grateful. When the food / drink trolley arrived my husband turned round and asked me what I wanted. The steward had thought I was travelling alone and didn’t realise I had moved away from my husband. I got my drinks and snacks free as a thank you. The family were lovely and did not demand to sit together and thanked me for allowing their children to sleep across them.

I pay to book a seat - aisle or window - because honestly, who likes the middle seat?

The only people who would like a middle seat are those who want to sit next to the person they are travelling with. By choosing an aisle and window in the same row, OP and her friend are not only choosing the most desirable seats, but also preventing the only people who would choose a middle seat from doing so.

If you want to sit with your friend, book a middle seat plus aisle or window 🤷‍♀️