To stop doing the washing up

[Kelly899]

I’m a SAHM and do all childcare and chores, cooking, planning and organising. DH is out the house at 6am and gets back around 4pm.
Im happy to do everything but I pick up after DH and it’s becoming draining. His only ‘job’ js to take out the trash and he’s not even been doing this.
I don’t feel appreciated in anything I do so Friday I stopped doing the washing up/tidying the kitchen. He has only just acknowledged this morning that the kitchen is a mess. I am going to be doing a lot less, I. Terms of his mess, as in if he leaves clothes on the floor , they get left there. If he leaves cups out they get left there.
AIBU?

It's awful to feel unappreciated. Have you had a conversation with your DH about household chores?
Talk to him about how you feel, and what's going on, rather than just leaving a mess, which isn't good for anyone. Perhaps he's just unaware of how much you do? Unfortunately, that's often the case with sahp.

You are just going to annoy yourself doing that.
Sit down and have an adult conversation with him.
Get a cleaner.

This is why I went back to work, so that he was forced to do some childcare/housework. And I felt appreciated at work.

Surely doing that will have more of a negative impact on you than it will on him. From what you wrote he doesn't seem to notice or be bothered by the mess. Have you tried talking about it and explaining how it's impacting you?

Stop tidying the kitchen, washing his clothes, clearing away his cups. Start something called DH’s (plastic) box of doom in each room. Place a box in his spaces .. his side of the bed, his seat on the sofa, on his chair at the dining table. Shove anything he leaves into his box of doom - his dirty mugs, his worn trousers, his tools, his rubbish, his keys.

Oh OP maybe you should sit down with another adult and patiently explain how domestic fairies aren't the one picking up after him. I'm sure once you've enlightened him with this remarkable information he will see the error of his ways and start behaving like a responsible partner.

FFS he leaves it to you because he thinks it's beneath him and he pays for the roof over your head therefore (in his mind) you owe him. It's piss taking disrespect. I agree with PP just get a box and dump all his shit in it. Stop doing his washing and picking up after him. Say nothing and try to be relaxed whilst he slowly works out how much you do.

Leave the kitchen alone, if he says it's a mess again just say yes it's isn't it and leave the room.

YABU to just stop doing stuff without talking to him about it. Have an adult discussion.