Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what would you think if you overheard your child describe themselves as a spoilt brat?

25 replies

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:44

At random...

YABU - worrying, indicative of self esteem issue or other issue

YANBU - fine, probably a good thing they are self aware

OP posts:
HcbSS · 25/05/2024 18:45

It would depend or not whether I suspected it was true.

Is this something they have heard someone say about them?
Are they old enough to understand what it means?
Be honest - are they spoilt?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 25/05/2024 18:45

I might also reflect on my own parenting. Are they a spoilt brat?

Arlanymor · 25/05/2024 18:46

Context is everything…

Love51 · 25/05/2024 18:46

That they had heard an adult use that horrible term and had co-opted it.

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:46

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 25/05/2024 18:45

I might also reflect on my own parenting. Are they a spoilt brat?

I would say spoiled rather than spoilt!

OP posts:
CannotbebotheredNope · 25/05/2024 18:49

If I heard a child say that ,I would be very judgmental about the parenting involved.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 25/05/2024 18:50

Love51 · 25/05/2024 18:46

That they had heard an adult use that horrible term and had co-opted it.

This. The child hasn't got the phrase from nowhere!

I'd wonder why another adult was describing my child in that way. And I might ask the child where they'd heard it.

And I'd also reflect on whether there could be a grain of truth in there.

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:50

Arlanymor · 25/05/2024 18:46

Context is everything…

It was actually a couple of years ago, but still sometimes on my mind - friend was complaining about a classmate who was causing many problems at the time. Friend said they thought the classmate was a spoilt brat who always got everything they wanted. My child said - that's no excuse, I am a spoilt brat who always gets everything I want, and I don't behave like that.

It did make me think, and once I thought about it, I though they were right. And it is no bad thing they recognise it - in fact they recognised it more clearly than I did. But I still think about that comment

And they have grown up successful and happy - I just still think about that comment

OP posts:
TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 25/05/2024 18:50

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:46

I would say spoiled rather than spoilt!

What do you think the difference is?

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:51

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 25/05/2024 18:50

What do you think the difference is?

Spoiled refers to parent's behaviour, spoilt refers to child's behaviour

OP posts:
Saschka · 25/05/2024 18:56

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:51

Spoiled refers to parent's behaviour, spoilt refers to child's behaviour

That is a distinction only you are making - the two spellings are interchangeable (spoiled more common in the US, spoilt more common in the U.K)

CatherinedeBourgh · 25/05/2024 18:59

It depends on their age. Teenager - great, own your privilege. Toddler - someone has been putting them down.

LadeOde · 25/05/2024 18:59

How old are they?

LadeOde · 25/05/2024 19:00

Cross posted with @CatherinedeBourgh . Exactly what i was going to say.

Itsonlymashadow · 25/05/2024 19:01

Saschka · 25/05/2024 18:56

That is a distinction only you are making - the two spellings are interchangeable (spoiled more common in the US, spoilt more common in the U.K)

It's a distinction I have heard alot growing up and as an adult, in the UK. Especially when talking about kids and how parents treat them.

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 19:06

LadeOde · 25/05/2024 18:59

How old are they?

about 14 or 15 at the time

OP posts:
cannonballz · 25/05/2024 19:07

Saschka · 25/05/2024 18:56

That is a distinction only you are making - the two spellings are interchangeable (spoiled more common in the US, spoilt more common in the U.K)

It is not my distinction, it is a distinction in the English language - the two words are not interchangeable. not in the UK. Of course, they might mean something slightly different in USA

OP posts:
DeadMabelle · 25/05/2024 19:12

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 19:07

It is not my distinction, it is a distinction in the English language - the two words are not interchangeable. not in the UK. Of course, they might mean something slightly different in USA

Edited

They really aren’t. You’ve invented a distinction and superimposed a theory of child behaviour based on a fallacy.

5128gap · 25/05/2024 19:19

I'd say your child mistakenly thought 'spoiled brat' just meant priveleged. It's used a lot that way, with people constantly conflating 'spoiled' with fortunate, or being the recipient of generosity. 'You're spoiling me...' etc. I'd think it was nice my child recognised their priveleges, and I'd explain to them what spoiled brat actually meant.

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 25/05/2024 19:20

A spoiled brat is someone who behaves terribly when they do get their own way/everything they want. Not just a child who gets a lot. So I think your child maybe just didn’t understand.

I think I’d cringe a bit if a child said it in the context yours did, but there’s no harm done.

5128gap · 25/05/2024 19:30

cannonballz · 25/05/2024 18:51

Spoiled refers to parent's behaviour, spoilt refers to child's behaviour

No, both refer to the parents behaviour. Whether they are spoilt or spoiled, the expression literally means that the treatment they have recieved from their parents has 'ruined' them because they haven't been brought up to have the requisit qualities of a decent (unspoilt) person due to the parents indulgence. The child's behaviour is merely the indicator people use to decide if they think the spoiling has occurred. Ie, a spoilt/spoiled child behaves in a way that indicates their character has been spoilt/spoiled by their parents.

JohnCurtice · 25/05/2024 19:40

Sounds like he’s using the term in a loose way to mean something like “privileged”. I would be pleased that he has an awareness of his good fortune.

DoreenonTill8 · 25/05/2024 19:48

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 25/05/2024 19:20

A spoiled brat is someone who behaves terribly when they do get their own way/everything they want. Not just a child who gets a lot. So I think your child maybe just didn’t understand.

I think I’d cringe a bit if a child said it in the context yours did, but there’s no harm done.

Agree, not something I think to be proud of!

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 26/05/2024 18:02

DeadMabelle · 25/05/2024 19:12

They really aren’t. You’ve invented a distinction and superimposed a theory of child behaviour based on a fallacy.

Yeah, there isn't any difference. When people say "spoiled" / "spoiled brat", they don't mean "his parents give him everything he wants, but he's lovely despite that". They mean the child is a spoiled brat - ruined/badly behaved because they've never been told no or set reasonable boundaries.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 26/05/2024 18:04

Itsonlymashadow · 25/05/2024 19:01

It's a distinction I have heard alot growing up and as an adult, in the UK. Especially when talking about kids and how parents treat them.

I've never heard anyone use the term "spoiled brat" without intending to say something negative about the child's behaviour.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page