Or do women not talk to their husbands?

[IncognitoUsername]

I’ve seen so many posts today where a poster has an issue with in laws, step children, husband’s friends/work colleagues etc and after a few posts it turns out that the OP has not raised the issue with DH/partner.
I understand the need for venting and getting other people’s point of view or needing support etc but surely a bunch of strangers can’t really help if you haven’t already spoken to the other person involved in the issue?

Lots of mumsnetters seem to have really weird, extremely shallow, relationships with everyone they know.

Lots of Mners appear to be married to men who are completely non-verbal, bar the occasional grunt about football or what's for dinner.

I know! DH seems like a bit of a saint in comparison! I think he likes me being on here because when I tell him some of the things I read he says it makes me realise how lucky I am to have him. 😂

I know what you mean. Communication in DH's family is non existent, unless its something I've told MIL NOT to tell anyone. If I want FIL to know something I can't leave a message with MIL she won't tell him even if asked to, same the other way around. It's like they go around all day in the same house and don't talk to each other. I find it very odd.

If I want them both to know I have to tell both of them. 🤷‍♂️

Ok - I’ve not seen it in real life, only on Mumsnet.

My dad doesn't pass any information to my mom so I always have to make sure I tell DM too.

In our house DH had an almost pathological opposition to passing on even basic information.

He has got a lot better over the last few years after a few huge rows resulting in me refusing to attend things with him due to the lack of information.

Once he hadn't mentioned that me and the DCs were invited to an annual event that was previously only for him. He then threw a huge strop resulting in me not going and him having to manage the DCs and his DM by himself.

The following year, the same event was in a different city. This time I knew we were all invited but he neglected to tell me it was now 2 hours drive away and would involve an overnight stay.

I did go to that one but we had yet another row about his inability to give me information. How hard is it to give me a city name!

It's not just men. So many posts from MNers (women) who have issues with but haven't actually tried communicating with ...childhood friends, work colleague, mum friend, neighbour, mother, mother in law.... anyone really. It's quite peculiar.

To be fair sometimes it helps to scream into the void to help you organise your thoughts before you raise something with someone whose opinion and response to the issue actually matters.

A lot of the time people discover through their posts that they're probably overreacting, or underreacting, or being manipulated in a way they didn't realise they were, or whatever. Using internet strangers as a sounding board before engaging in something difficult isn't a new concept, it's been going on since the internet was born.

Although I agree a lot of people do seem to be in marriages with absolutely abysmal communication. One can only hope that one or two of them make improvements on that based on the incredulity they meet here!

It always amazes me on here when someone comes on to say they've just moved in with a partner, or just got married, or just had a child, etc., and ask how "joint" finances should be shared etc! Just what?? Surely that's the kind of thing you talk about BEFORE you have children, marry or live with your partner. The mind boggles!