To worry that 77-year old relative is at risk of cancer

[Orchidacea]

I just found out that a 77-year old relative has taken up cigar smoking. He says he smokes 2-3/month. He quit cigarette smoking 30 years ago.
He has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, which seems to be getting worse, but he is in good shape physically.
He is extremely stubborn, so will certainly not listen to advice from me about cigars.
I know no one can predict the future, but AIBU to worry that he will now develop cancer from this new cigar-smoking habit?

I'd ask if he'd like you to get him a nice malt whisky to enjoy with his cigars.

Like when it was reported that Queen Elizabeth had been told to give up alcohol at 96 yrs old.

But something is going to happen some time and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.
At 77 he should be allowed to choose what pleasures he wants without interference.
Is he a close relative who relies on you for care?

I intend to acquire more vices if or when I reach 77.

Is this a wind up?

He’s 77

Let him enjoy his cigars

My mum stopped smoking in 1980. She developed lung cancer in 2010 nodule removed and again in 2019 nodule removed. She died from secondaries in 2022. I wouldn't be worried about a 77 year old taking up cigar smoking he is still at risk from the earlier smoking

@Orchidacea come on! I once had a patient who had had a heart attack at 99 years old!! the doc said he had to stop smoking!! I was in shock! the doc left the ward and the patient asked if he could go for a smoke. of course, said I, as we walked along to the day room!!! give your relative a break!

Yes. We all die, and at 77 it isn't that far off (comparatively speaking). Why not enjoy the years he has left?

He’s 77, let him be. I’m 66 and have just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t drink, don’t smoke and I’m a vegetarian- I like to think I eat healthily and exercise regularly by swimming. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to it. And if he smoked in the past, the risk will be more from that than from anything he does now.

I think that when you reach an age where people are no longer likely to talk about you dying too young... it is time to try out all those unhealthy or very exciting things you used to kept clear of .

I have plans!

Can you imagine at 96 saying oh yes ill live out my very last years without a gin !

My uncle is 90 he .still has a wine with his dinner and a pint in the pub at the weekend I can't imagine him wanting to stop now.

The dopamine from the cigars could actually be helping him a lot. While it’s terrible for your lungs and cancer as you say there are mental benefits he might actually be enjoying in his twilight years let him be

To be fair some elderly people will want to do everything for their health. My grandma is 90 and wants to eat as healthy as possible and would take Dr's advise to cut out alcohol, salt etc. You cannot assume just because someone is older they don't want to follow health advise or try to prolong their life

But equally many people will want to just enjoy their lives rather than prolong it. It's a personal decision. But I am sure at 77 your relative has the capability to make that decision

I don't think that's What posters are saying @FiveTreeHill I just think if you are in old age and want to have a cigar or a burger then people should lay off them.

Meh he's 77 having the odd cigar. Let him crack on

Yes, I will be the one to organise any sort of care he may need.

Let him get on with it.
I had similar with my dad but in his case it was eating too much sugar and processed food despite diabetes. He said he wasn't going to ruin his last years by dieting and he was going to eat what the hell he wanted. So that was the end of that discussion.
And yes, sadly he did have a massive heart attack in his sleep, with no warning, but it's definitely the way he would have wanted to go if he could have chosen.

But you are going to have to do that regardless of his cigars so are you putting conditions on his care ? I'm having a dig at you and I get your concern but I don't think you can force him to stop smoking.

Do you have caring responsibility for this person, OP?
It sounds like you need a plan for supporting you when he gets to that point of being "difficult". You must Assume it's a matter of when, not if.

He will die at some point of something, OP. That's part of life we have to come to terms with. He will probably be frail & very unwell for a while before he dies, too. Also is how life tends to happen.

(given cognitive decline) I'd be more worried about house fire than cancer, personally. He's going to die of something sooner rather than earlier, would be preferable if wasn't in a house fire that he caused.

There is this,are they safe smoking in the house

Thank you for responding.

I'm very sorry you have had that diagnosis. I wish you a tolerable treatment regimen and a full recovery.

Yes he’s at risk of cancer but he’s also an adult and can do what he wants.

I understand your concern that it’s going to shorten his life and make whatever life he has left, less healthy and potentially he’ll suffer more than if he didn’t smoke but you cannot do anything about it and you just have to let him get on with it.

FWIW my grandma started chain smoking when she hit 80 and died at 89 for something that was completely unrelated to smoking.