Am I getting it wrong - 13 year old DC and revision

[Lotscanchange]

DC is bright, doing fine at school. They don’t get much homework but they seem to have termly tests in main subjects.

This year - year 8 - is important as they start their GSCE in year 9 and lots of streaming begins. I want him to be in a good set as the behaviour in class worsens as the set drops - and he’s a bit of a sponge for all that.

Anyway, whilst he cares and he’s quite competitive - he’d also prefer to be doing anything other than school work in his own time. I should also add he’s not great in tests without working in advance.

So I try to gee him up. Get him to do 30 mins a day for a few weeks (never works out every day but that’s the goal) to cover all the topics.

so i have to be on his case. And I am.

but then I woke in night thinking - what the fuck am I doing? Am I being ridiculous? Should I just be totally hands off and let him sort it? I had a panic that come year 9 onwards, where GCSE work begins, he’ll be over it and won’t do it

ds’s school didn’t give much homework, some weeks he had none at all, but for each year they recommended how much revision to do in place of it each night. (guess it saved them issuing/marking homework, and put responsibility on learner/parent to support their own education)

If he isn’t getting homework, I don’t think 30m revision is a big ask, and it’s a good habit to get into.

Doing a bit of work for year 8 end of year exams isn't going to cause GCSE burnout! 30 mins most days is a perfectly reasonable amount of work (unless he's also doing 2 hours music practice, and early morning swimming, and running 20 miles a week, and extra language lessons etc etc)

I think you have a very good point about GCSE classes being streamed, and not wanting him to end up in lower groups. That said, whatever class he ends up in, his own actions are absolutely his responsibility, and he can't hide behind "getting drawn in by the naughty kids".

My daughter is the same age and just completed her term tests but I just left her to it, she needs to learn what works for her and how best she revises as not the same works for everyone. I've realised my daughter and I have completely different revision styles. If it was quite close to exam time and it looks like not much is being done I ask her where she's at and what she's got left and how she's going to manage her week when the tests arrive and give advice. Have you spoken to your son about how he feels? He might be ok with it or he might get absolutely nothing out of half an hour nightly and prefer to work out his own schedule. It might also have the opposite effect where he resents doing it as it feels like nagging.

You will just ruin your relationship in my experience. I tried to do this with my first and never bothered with my others as it got me nowhere. They have to realise for themselves and begin to take responsibility for their own school work if they don't get good grades then they know why and can choose to do better next time.

I am a teacher and have two teens and before I had kids/when they were younger I used to think all parents should be doing what you are doing. However, now I think it's more complicated. Both my dc are quite academic and do well, but they require different things from me and have different approaches themselves which therefore require a different response from me.

I think the 30 minutes a day rule is arbitrary and won't necessarily have the desired impact. It also sets you up for a lot of nagging and a negative atmosphere building up around school work. I don't agree with just leaving them to it (unless they are clearly on top of it all and doing well) but I would be more targeted and maybe focus on the tasks he has been set and checking he has done those or sitting down with the topic sheets/knowledge organisers and asking him to RAG rate the content and then encouraging him to come up with a loose schedule to address the red and amber bits. But really, at Y8 level this shouldn't really take that long if he is able/concentrating in class. Hours of revision shouldn't really be needed at this point.

I would also hope there is scope to move sets but mention of streaming makes me think this may be limited. I really disagree with this. We have mixed ability teaching in my subject right through to Y11 and it has been a massive success for students at all levels. Streaming 13 year olds and keeping them in their 'stream' until 16 is awful.

If he isn't self motivated to learn, he ain't learning. Mandating methods and time usually backfires spectacularly in the teen years.

I work with adults who need access support to third level. A lot never learnt how to learn.

I would concentrate on prioritising communication. Ask him what is he enjoying, what does he not like. I share podcasts with my older teen about different learning methods etc, short little tasters. Find interesting resources that support the curriculum, films, music, etc.

I did a family tree and mapped historial events alongside it that showed the interplay of Irish, European and world history. That became the basis of my eldest history project for exams here.

And most of all reinforce exams are a snapshot of a day, it could be your best or worst day. There are many winding paths to success and you know he will achieve his. Don't threaten a teenager with adult impacts, that is soul damaging and lasts a lifetime.

I think 30 minutes an evening is fine and good to get into the habit.

My DD is Y7 but is autistic so needs more support. I set aside an hour every evening at the same time Monday-Thursday. We don't usually use the full hour but if she gets into a piece of work (i.e if she can be creative with it) then she will use all that time. As well as her homework - which varies between 1-4 pieces a week - I do some MFL practice and Maths practice with her. If there is any revision set we do that too.

I agree it is a fine line between being supportive and being too pushy.

I think your opening lines tells you everything:

DC is bright, doing fine at school.

So no need to get involved at this stage and start pressuring him. Homework, yes absolutely. Revising for GCSEs at age 13, nah I think you've got that bit wrong.

If the teachers start to mention he's getting distracted or struggling, then yes definitely. But I'd let him be, he sounds like he's got it covered.

She's not said she's getting him to revise for GCSEs, though. It's revision for Y8 exams.

Why are you pressurising him? He's only young, if he's completing all homework already. What did his last report say, are his teachers happy with him, his progress. Yes he needs to find his own drive, his own style of revision, but there's time for that. Ask his main teachers what set they expect him to be in.

Fair point, but what I mean is prepping for GCSEs. I know its not actually GCSEs yes, but all of this is in prep for starting GCSEs.

We always made our kids revise for tests in secondary school and they wanted to do well anyway so were happy to. 30 minutes most evenings isn’t a lot really. My kids use to do an hour at a time, sometimes on their own, sometimes with us. By regularly revising for tests each term, when they get to GCSE time, they don’t have to do so much.