To say no to this holiday

[Rosebel]

We have been invited to go on holiday with in laws during October half term. This would be our only holiday as we can't afford a summer holidays and this would be split 3 ways and will be fairly cheap as we'd be renting a house near the beach from a friend of SIL.
I love going on holiday but I don't want to go to this one. DS is autistic (low functioning) and starting school in September. We have very high doubts he will cope at school and he certainly will not cope with a holiday straight after. He hates routine change, new places are will not sleep.
I have suggested to DH that one of us takes the older kids away with his family and the other one stay home with DS. He's not keen and wants all of us to go.
I (stupidly) mentioned my concerns to MIL who told me not to worry because DS might be less autistic by then. This just confirms my thoughts that the holiday will be a disaster.
AIBU to tell them we're not going?
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I would wait until the time comes and then make a decision depending on how things are going. Either you all go or DH goes with your older children. Make it clear now that you're not committing.

OP trust your gut. That would have been a nightmare for us the year DS with asd started school. He was really stressed. Now he is 9 we are actually off on hols in July and October so things have changed so much.

If DS requires a lot of attention then it may be nice for the older kids to go and have some time alone with their dad.

I would encourage him to go and say you aren’t planning on going but then see how you and DS feel closer to the time.

Holidays are meant to be enjoyable but if your or DS aren’t going to enjoy yourselves then there’s no point in going.

I’d be saying the same to MIL so DH can’t twist it and act like you’re stopping him from going.

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Get used to saying no to things that you know won't benefit your ds without guilt.

WHETHER the child was ND or not, there no chance I would go on holiday with family, in laws, or friends. It's rarely a complete success, and is often a disaster.

We know our own and their ways, so I couldn't and wouldn't waste a precious holiday tip toeing around other people's ways that are not in tune with mine/ours.